Why do we get crushes? | Isabelle O'Carroll | TEDxBrixton

Self-confessed ‘crush addict’ Isabelle discusses her theory on crushes and why we have them. In this fun and witty talk, Isabelle looks at the spectrum of crushes, some of the mad things we do in the name of a crush and gets to the heart of how and why they can turn into infatuation.


As well as writing, Isabelle consults for fashion brands; the Telegraph called her “one of Britain’s best fashion bloggers” and Vogue have featured her on the Online Fashion 100. She has also spoken at Southbank’s Women of the World festival this year.
Follow her on Twitter: @IsabelleOC

[invisibleninja]

One thing she didn't really touch on is how intoxicating possibility can be. It's fun to imagine how the future might play out. It is a bad habit of mine to acquire a crush and jump way ahead mentally to things like how his last name would fit with my first, or where we might live. Sometimes I do that to try and find the cons of a relationship with this person in order to talk myself down, but it's still not a very healthy thing to do prior to said person even acknowledging my existence.

[frlfrl]

Am I the only one that gets this with people I've never talked to?

[chubbybird]

How loyal are you?:

Me: Sorry I can't flirt with you, I can't cheat on my crush. XD

[Rose_-]

I think the fact that it is more women that have crushes could also imply that women can be less confident than men at times, often thinking that their crush. Is "too good" for them or wouldn't be interested in them if they really tried. It's a fear of rejection really. This is what I've experienced before.

[RF-httr]

Crushes are very painful experiences. At times you feel that euphoric high but most of the tine pain.

[meghand]

"Nobody gets a mild crush?"
I get mild crushes on every other person I meet

[Literally_Anything_Else]

Wait...people can see if you've checked their linkdin? Oh my God, no....

[teatime]

I appreciate that my crush awakened a dormant soul. I never knew a crush could feel so good or could be so much fun. When my crush ended I was left in an awakened state, remembering all the lovely things that made me feel smart and beautiful and proud to be a woman. Thank you crush.

[miskay]

i always feel like im not attractive enough for my crushes so i just dont approach them cuz im scared of getting rejected LOLL

[DancethedrizzleBlogspot]

"You will only ever be as proactive as you think you are allowed to be". ... wow. Even not related to crushed and romance, this is soooo truuue!!!

[veeardy]

Dead to me zone. Infinitely better than the red zone. I remember my crushes with a tinge of sadness.

[dramani]

Reality of crush is emotions become suffocatingly stronger and stronger as you couldn't express it to your crush and they almost attain God like status in your eyes however if your crush reciprocated feeling and you end up in a relationship then only the obsession passes and you are able to judge that person on his / her merits and relationship has same chances of success or failure as any other...however when we are crushing we only think of how difinatively great fairytale relationship you could have with that person .

[a]

okay... but she did not answer "why do we get crushes?"!

[rubberducky]

I recently caught up with my childhood crush and I had this whole image in my mind about what he might be like now, when I saw him again I was so disappointed. He was incredibly different. Not just physically but also his personality. I always thought he was the perfect person as a child.

[yolandaw.]

I feel like the dead to me phase only really ends once I'm back to red and orange with another person

[bellefairydust]

I’ve had crushes on people who were attainable but I put them on a pedestal at thought they were unattainable

[christiandevey]

what's worse than having a crush is asking them out and them answering no.

[ElephantJackson]

A few years ago I had the wildest crush maybe in the history of the Universe. It felt like a soul mate that I had planned to meet here on earth. She flirted a little on & off with me, told me I was sweet, and considered me a friend. Then I told other people I liked her, and it all started to crumble. I had no choice but to tell her I loved her. She basically blocked me out of her life completely. I was devastated. I am now extremely spiritual and don't even care about "relationships" anymore.

[charissaingraham]

It’s a relief to know I’m not the only one who loses my appetite over crushes. I work with this girl who is incredibly beautiful and sweet to everyone. I don’t know how I’m going to ever get over this but I hope I do soon because it’s killing me 😓

[bootstrapperwilson]

I finished the video still awaiting "because..." We get crushes because we are social animals hardwired to reproduce with the best specimens we can get. Crushes drive us to try to get with the crushee, but our knowledge of how bad rebuffs feel keeps us from acting. Simple. The best strategy is get rid of a crush by becoming a ruthless critic of the crushee; when you see their multiple faults, you see they are nothing special.