Help! My Parents are my BIGGEST TRIGGER!

I'm Kati Morton, a licensed therapist making Mental Health videos!
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[emmatessier]

My mom is not willing to change. She expects everyone to do as she wishes, can't see her own mistakes, manipulative with our feelings, constantly feels sorry for herself, .. it's awful

Edit: I think she might have BPD, which is a part of the reason she acts this way. She's suffering herself from her emotional turmoil and making us suffer along too.

[StoneCrow]

Not all parents do the best they can. There ARE horrible parents out there. Take it from me.

[itsbell]

I tried talking to my mom about my emotions and the things I don't like etc . But my mom won't listen and she ignores me when I talk to her . And i try to get her attention I repeat it a lot times until I get an answer, but most of the time I just give up and walk away . She also brings me down and says a lot of bad stuff to me (she emotional abuse me) And she blame things on me even if I didn't do anything . When I cry she thinks I'm crazy. And she thinks my phobia is fake and unreal. She treats me different from my brothers(I'm the middle child) and she makes me feel like my opinion isn't worth anything. It got so bad to the point where she makes me feel like I shouldn't exist . I'm 17 and I can hardly go outside, she doesn't let me get a job etc. I don't know what to do because everything she tells me hurt and I just act like it doesn't hurt, and I just cry where no one sees me .

[nehasharma-dyml]

Only the people who have been raised by narcissist parent or parents can know the real The pain is unreal when it is your own parent..

[CL-ysnp]

Doesn't matter if they're "doing the best they can" at the act of parenting. That comes second to simply loving the child. A loving parent acts in a way that cares for the child's wellbeing in all aspects (physically, mentally, etc). There are definitely parents who do not love their child.

[jimmymacus]

My dad is my biggest trigger and my parents are divorced, so I simply avoid seeing or talking to him. It has been about 6 years now since I talked to him. He is one of the main reasons of my major depression.

[lunalenaerts]

My parents just being in the same room as me is enough to ruin my day at this point

[keke]

Hi Kati-

Can you talk a little bit about parents that DO try to be malicious? Like Narcissitic parents? I find some people have a hard time understanding what kids of parents with NPD go through (even after going no contact) because they can't relate to having their parent actually TRYING to hurt them. Even a few therapists I've seen seem to want to push for "reconciliation" and still being in contact "because they're your parent". I think it'd be great if you could help spread awareness of this topic. Constantly trying to educate people can be lonely and I think it could help other kids of NPD parents see they're not alone.

[DaniCrispy]

I get so frustrated because my parents don't believe me when I say I have panic attacks and I get so anxious with the only idea of talking to them about my possible depression... The worst part is that my mom is a psycologist and my dad a physician...

[racheldahliamusic]

I tried going zero contact with my family and I lasted a year and it nearly killed me literally. They do not respect ANY boundaries I try lay doesn't work. The day off my grandmother's death she used it as an excuse to blast the shit through me about my own parenting ( of which she knows nothing!) And then hung up on me. I'm so sick of her dramatic, narcissistic drama. It never ends. It's exhausting. I just want a quiet NORMAL bloody life. I don't understand why that is so much to ask for! And why is it our generation apparently can't get ANY respect from our own damn parents????

[jasperperez]

The problem comes when you can't tell your parents what's wrong. I'm gay and ik that they're homophobic af, which builds up a lot of resentment. I can't tell them because they'll send me straight to conversion therapy. I'm always moody and distant. Idk what to do to keep living w/ them without going insane.

[TheProgressiveParent]

do you really think all parents are doing the best they can or is this just being politic? No one else in society is afforded that get-out-of-jail-free card except parents

[mck_belle]

I'm almost 17, so I still live at home with my parents. I told my mom two years ago about my depression, and she did absolutely nothing. About 6 months ago I told her about my struggle with an eating disorder, and at first, it seemed like she was going to be really supportive and get me help. She took me to a dietitian (who knew nothing about eds) one time, and I see a counselor twice a month. Other than that, all she does is trigger me. She acts like my eating disorder is nonexistent, and I feel so alone. She doesn't understand, and if I were to try to explain anything to her, she would probably get offended that I was being triggered, and then do nothing to change. I'm so ready to get out of my house, I don't know if I can make it another year..

[dua-k]

I can’t do this anymore, what have I done to deserve this life. My parents are the worst.

[sterling.]

My biggest struggle is explaining my feelings, and my relationship with my family. I know it's toxic I just can't explain what they do because they do it in a way where it'll be unnoticeable to others.

[Butterflywings]

Sometimes, living with your parents is not possible . Sometimes the only option you have is to move out, and move on. Cut off ties. Yes they are your parents, but they are still people at the end of the day. If they aren't trying to change. You can make people change, or get better. Sometimes separation is key.

[adaharrisonn]

I think you REALLY need to rethink or recreate this video....if someone is contacting you about this kind of thing and there's a potential the parents are emotionally abusive (with or without meaning to) are generally not going to be willing to change, or listen, or care about the kids negative feelings towards them, so basically everything you said in this video was a bit way too optimistic on the parents side

[davidbeining]

well my mom and my family tell me just suck it up have major deppression disorder for 10 years and they refuse to learn or listen to what I say they just drink more

[moviegirl]

From experience people who have good relationships with their parents just can’t understand what’s it’s like to have abusive parents. She has said she talks to her mom daily and they have a good relationship so maybe that’s why she’s saying that.

I had a therapist who was helping me cope with having a textbook narcissist father and she also had a narcissist father and spent a lot of our session time a
Talking about her one pain to the point that it was a problem for me and I stopped seeing her. Maybe she adopted some narcissistic traits 🤷🏻‍♀️
Anyway therapists are not perfect

[Sarah-luwh]

My favorite therapist response: "and how does that make you as they're And not paying attention to the fact that you just told them how you feel. So you wanna know how I feel about the way I feel?