Midweek with Dr. C- Do Narcissists Just Want Power and That’s It?

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Dr. Les Carter is a best selling author and therapist who has semi-retired to Waco, TX. In the past 40+ years he has conducted more than 65,000 counseling sessions and many workshops and seminars. He specializes in anger management and narcissistic personality disorder.

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[taraarrington]

I hope no one else ever has to go through the crap I've been through dealing with these sadist evil control freaks.

[jennifera]

Narcissists would rather be feared than loved.

[BeingLifted]

A narcissist and I separated after a 3-year love relationship and I moved out of our shared home. He was one of those narcissists that "never yelled." We had reason to stay in touch and, naturally, he tried to hoover me back in maybe a decade later. I told him I just couldn't. He didn't understand so I told him I was not going to be yelled at everyday. Of course, he yelled that he never yelled. I calmly told him that the neighbors across the street had asked me if I was okay a couple of times. He poo-pooed that they couldn't hear him across the street (they could). I told him that the guy next door asked me if I was okay a few times and offered refuge if I ever needed it. (This is a guy he thought he was friends with who, in retrospect, understood narcissistic patterns. I answered like any good doormat would by saying that everything was fine; he called me on my answer by telling me he heard my ex yelling every day. Of course, at that point, I fessed up and made excuses for my ex because of how he was raised.) Anyway, when I told my ex about the next door neighbor offering me refuge if I needed it, his face turned beet red and he walked out. I did end up calling him one last time to wrap up our connection and we have not seen or spoken a word to each other since. He knew he yelled every day and finding out that neighbors could hear his yelling burned him. Evidently, there was no use trying to blame me because (a) I wasn't reacting and (b) he knew he'd burned himself, so he just left. That worked for me!

[discodeb]

My 91 year old mother is STILL in arrested development 😨. Maddening!!

[aaronkwolfe]

Late last week, I was in a dark place. I got deep into my own head, still re-living my (estranged, narcissistic) wife's birthday memories. It's been more than 7 years apart now, but I knew how important birthdays were to her. How she hated every single one, and I kept taking it upon myself to finally make at least one a good one for her. Well, her birthday was Friday, and many of my friends noticed I was in a deep funk, but didn't know why. So several asked. I have GOOD friends who notice.
Anyway, it wasn't until Monday I saw a stream from a Dr. R (not to promote another streamer on YouTube) that discussed how a narcissist gets obsessed about birthdays in particular. It complemented all that I have been learning here, and brought me to another whole level of healing. As I conversed with another friend, I realized even more closure. I understood (on a deeper level) how very foreign her thinking was to my own.
Thank you, Dr. C for the role you have played/are playing in my growth and understanding.

[kathleenbotelho]

My ex narcissist he stalks around trying to listen to my conversations because he lives in the same place I do I give him the wrong information lol because I know he's listening I can see him hiding and listening so dumb 🤣

[kimdurant]

I told my narcissistic sister I didn't want to get involved in things that simply don't interest me. She got nasty, telling me I was ignorant, but it shut her up, because I walked away and didn't respond.

[malkaringel]

How about 3 year old, not 8? Dr. C how did you come to know this character inside/out ? You've spent a lifetime of helping others & we appreciate you here on team healthy ❤️

[azsuehayes]

Oh my Gosh!!!! I cared for my and my husband's parents. It was the worst decision, I finally had to ask his to leave. I had been disconnected from the siblings enough, but I'm still here. Dr. Les, Your videos have helped and counseling has begun for the narcissistic one, and I'm holding firm boundaries. He's with a good therapist! It's hopefully finally turning! I have such a hard time giving up on people. So the journey continues. I can never thank you enough! 😊

[malkaringel]

Quebec 🇨🇦 Canada. Germany my mom was born in Berlin. Re: painting. Dr. C I've noticed that I can irritate the narccissist by not reacting at all!! It gets his craw alright!! I keep my inner soul at peace!!

[malkaringel]

This is the absolute best channel Dr. C for learning about narccissists!! Thank you a million 💕 times over, for helping me to see the truth. My biological family swept everything under the rug, so to speak. I was/am too sensitive so the words were contrary to what I was feeling. Narccissists ruin any pleasure you may have in life! Especially birthdays, xmas, etc. Best that you are your own best friend!!!

[sandrahegedus]

I've been listening for a few years and agree with all you say. I let my narc husband after 29 years. He was a freelance commercial starving artist while I was the bread winner with a career in engineering. He was extremely comfortable with my income but hated me for my career. It was so weird discovering this and you would think he would go out and get a job but he was so proud and full of himself that he just wouldn't. Are narcs adverse to building their own life or do they expect everyone to do it for them? Thank you for all you do.

[ivatennant]

Thank you so very much Dr. Les Carter. You really helped me so much to understand what is going on after I ended the narcissistic relationship. He managed to get around my no contact barriers and send me some hateful, evil emails until I was able to block those as well. It helps to understand that it is really all about power and that he really does not know true love. He had the audacity to tell me that his love for me is agape love, not eros love!! What a sham! Your explanation of their projection and compensation for feeling powerless and inept and being rejected and trusting really opened my eyes as to what is going on behind his vile emails. I pray God continues to bless you with much understanding, wisdom and discernment as you help so many of us. May you also have time to relax and enjoy your blessings. You have blessed so many of us with your concern and ability to dissect the narcissist in such clear cut explanations. THANK YOU

[joshua]

Hi Dr. C, another very strong presentation you gave today. You went thru a lot of important things. I feel that having family members as narc. is the more difficult long term thing to handle and that is why you get so many questions about family problems. I have distanced myself from my elderly narc. Mom. I don't think my other siblings will support me because they all live out of state and the expectation was is that I am going to have to deal with Mom because of distance and she lives near me. My Mother is also very covert and she will act like the abused martyr to my other siblings. I am just trying to stand strong on my own, but feel like I will get some large judgement from my decision. Thank you again for helping us to stand strong and not capitulate. Respectfully, Eileen

[jennifera]

I had a vision of narcisssits being like corpses floating downstream in a river with me, while I'm trying to swim upstream...
The corpses keep bumping up against me, and each time they do it sets me back going in the other direction because of the effort to fight them off of me. But then it hit me, if I keep a watch out, and get out of their way, and swim around them, I can keep swimiming upstream effortlessly. They won't stop floating downstream, but I don't have to let them bump into me anymore.

[petrastrong]

Warning - don’t play kind with a npd - don’t play at all. Just calmly back away. Don’t be virtuous! It will provoke. Then. Stay grey rock and get away!

[rg-mihh]

Had my fill of these crazy narcs. Anyone who gets a kick out of hurting and agitating others needs a swift kick in the rear.

[l.]

Regarding navigating a narcissistic family when caring for a dying parent. My narc sister was living with my mom and was her primary caregiver in return for inheriting the house. When mom was in hospital, I wanted to have a private conversation with her regarding her care and ensure her needs were being met at home. My narc sister refused letting me have a private convo with my mom. I had to call a nurse to have my sister removed from the hospital room so I could have a few moments privately with mom. Sister then stood at the open doorway so she could hear everything said (hospital policy door had to remain open). Needless to say mom could not speak

[trudykuipers]

So thankful I found you. I understand, heal, and learn a little more with each video. Thank you is not enough!!!

[coggsy]

You’re spot on in all your videos Dr C. You’ve helped me tolerate and avoid this person….and peace has replaced a feeling of impending doom. from Kingsland, GA.