3 Red Flags You're Off Course | Gender Specialist Insights!

Are you questioning your gender journey? I reveal 3 crucial warning signs that might indicate you're veering off course. This insightful video explores common pitfalls in gender exploration and self-discovery. Learn to recognize these red flags and realign with your authentic self. Essential viewing for anyone navigating gender identity, transition, or questioning societal norms.

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👇Transform U With Dr. Z equips you with powerful tools to combat gender dysphoria, break the cycle of imposter syndrome, and crash transition fears👇
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Hello Friends! I'm Dr Z, and this is a channel where I help you break free from dysphoria!

👉NOTE: I work solely with adults, and all video content is marked for adults only. As such, the information shared is based on my experience working with adults only.

DISCLAIMER: Note that as a clinical psychologist, I created this channel to share information. Therefore, I won't be providing or offering therapeutic advice. I am also not a medical doctor. When I speak on medical issues such as hormones or surgical procedures, the goal is to share information and not to provide medical advice, and you should always consult with your medical doctor. Additionally, this channel is for those seeking information and understanding and to gain awareness.

#gender #genderdysphoria #transgender #nonbinary #genderidentity #gendertransition #gendertherapist #transhealth #transgenderwomen #transmann #enby #hormones #dysphoria #selfhelp #transformation

[melanieshivers]

The advice about never allowing other peoples expectations influence you is not only spot on for trans people but it’s also spot on for all people.

[Lilly_Belen]

This is an interesting post, I did feel that my dysphoria got worse once I started HRT, but then after a few weeks, the euphoria became very strong. Now although I’m taking my transition very slow, I look forward everyday to get out of my work costume and into my regular comfy girly clothes. When I look in the mirror, I see me as I have slowly but permanently changed. I feel so much more clam and at peace with me. That’s how I know I’m on the right path ❤

[HansLemurson]

I'm one of those already prone to anxiety.
When I went up on my hormone levels recently, my anxiety went WAY up, worrying about how I was going to deal-with/explain/hide the physical changes when I'm not fully out yet. The fear got intense enough that I stopped taking the hormones. The extra kicker was that my gender fluidity kicked in and I flipped to male-dominant for a day (interesting that high estrogen levels didn't interfere with that). I'd promised myself that if anything like this happened I would stop. Several red lines had been crossed. So I stopped. (And I made sure to disregard a transfem friend who believed boobs were the solution to everything. No external pressures allowed.)

I cooled down for about a week and my calm returned. The small amount of breast tissue softened and deflated a bit reducing the pokeyness of my chest. I started to feel a bit sad about changes reverting, and after a week and a half off hormones the "estrogen hunger" returned. After a few more days I started feeling minor pangs of gender dysphoria, and I started back up with a low dose.

I started to feel better within a day, probably because of fixing sex-hormone deficiency since I was still taking spiro. But as my booblets came back to life, I was surprised by just how much I'd missed their feeling and sensitivity. I started to get flashes of feeling that my chest was too small, and a visceral sense and little voice in my head telling me that I "needed to be a woman". Interestingly taking more estrogen made that go away.

It's pretty clear to me that the anxiety was a side-effect of the high estrogen levels. The things that once terrified me just don't bother me much, even though not much has changed. I'll have to be careful of estrogen-amplified anxiety in the future. It's also clear that I do want to continue with the medical transition. It's just that it's scary, and I'm going to need to work on my management and coping skills.

[lucystephenson]

This is a very good information video. Transision is a very complex journey, that is unique to the individual. As an autistic I checked my current mental state, checked again and checked again. I've experienced massive positives though my anxiety issues are not attached to gender at all. Social media content creators don't help if you are unsure, and people like punching down on people who decide to do things at their own pace. It's your journey enjoy it.

[DerrickJolicoeur]

I recently started playing games online with some queer freinds over voice chat who refer to me by my preferred pronouns. It was quite the euphoric shock.

Fast-forward two weeks not having thought much about it, I met one of my coworkers' spouces who knew I was trans (I told my coworker it was okay to share) and they asked my pronouns. I explained why I'm still using he/him pronouns (Closeted trans fem) and didn't think much of it.

But oh boy... On the drive home it absolutely hit me — For the first time, it really hurt me to tell someone the wrong pronouns. It was very distressing, I regret not telling them to use she/her pronouns.

That distress gave me so much euphoria and confidence that I'm on the right path.

[marti]

When my egg cracked and I started to do something about being trans I had Euphoria. I remember such a feeling of relief when I body shaved for the first time in years. Then I went into therapy and started to peel back the onion to understand what I need to do to move forward. Since it was something I had been dealing with and repressing for years, I soon decided to start HRT. At first I was delighted with the changes and my expectations of more.

About five months into my transition my dysphoria started to intensify. Before that I just had this vague feeling I wanted a different body and live like a woman, but it seemed so hard. Once the dysphoria became more prevalent, I started to feel I was in the wrong body and should have been born female. My frustration grew stronger and there were times I just did not think I could ever reach my goals. It did not paralyze me, but it certainly made me feel more uneasy and question whether transition was right for me. I knew I could not stop my desire to transition and in my heart could never go back. If I did the dysphoria would overwhelm me.

Now going on twenty-one months into my transition, I still have dysphoria and am frustrated because I do not have the body I want or should have. I have very little euphoria and frankly I am glad for that. I just want to blend in as a woman and live a happy, contented life. That is where my experience differs from what Dr. Z describes. Truthfully, I just do not need euphoria about my gender identity. I accept it and that is enough. It has sharpened and I am much more comfortable knowing who and what I am. I can finally say I am a happy person. That is the most important thing.

I see so many girls, especially on the Internet, who seem to be extremely sexually expressive once they transition. It appears as though that is very euphoric for them. Very often they transition when younger. Honestly, I do not get it. Maybe if I were younger I would feel the same way. Who am I to judge. It is hard enough to make sense of my own experience.

I think my dysphoria will never completely go away. I am not young and probably will not take all the transition steps that are possible. Trans people need time to both medically and psychologically transition. I would estimate at least five to ten years. I am not sure I have that luxury. Plus, when much older you have to keep your expectations reasonable.

Your problems do not go away when you transition. Sometimes it is hard to put them into perspective. Even without transitioning things would have changed for me. I will say, now that I accept myself better, I am better able to cope with anxieties and worries when they appear. I think the key is not to obsess about your transition. With that said, I do think about it a lot. But, it is not something that overwhelms me with worry and fear.

I am glad to know I am transgender and to have transitioned. My life is better. It would have really been tragic not to face it at some point in life. Dr. Z videos help me have confidence in the steps I take.

[chasmyr__]

I'm kinda lost atm, since I can remember anxiety and fear have been my compass in life, I've started a lot of small steps and I even made a coming out to my parent
The more I head in that direction the more I'm lost because It's new and strange for me to start having self love and confidence
The result was that I thought I was heading in the wrong direction, like the small steps are making me stop hating myself, so maybe I'm not trans enough, etc
But I connected so much with the counter example you gave (green flags I assume)
Especially the part about external pressure, for the last month I have been thinking I must transition not for myself but not to be a fraud and this thought occurred my path
So thank you it helped a lot to hear this and it's making me more affirmed !

[fiamedknuff]

Interesting topic. I'm grateful that I never encountered these red flags after starting my journey two years ago. It has only been a positive feedback cycle which encouraged me at every step. Thank you for everything you do for the community!

[kevinewing]

I am soo grateful to you for your helpful and kind videos! I have been in therapy for 5 months and love my therapist but I need to move things on more now. Your videos are filling that need for me, thank you!💐

[FrozEnbyWolf-bt]

I thought I was having doubts after being on low dose HRT for about a year, and I finally started to get minor changes. I worry that I'm not 100% prepared for the changes in terms of how I'm going to present myself. However, I realized that I'm not feeling dysphoric over the top growth and soreness, but rather anxious over whether it's going well. I have a family history of breast cancer, and an older transfem friend who is in treatment for breast cancer, which has been weighing heavily on my mind. Her doctor said it's not due to the HRT, which is a good sign. I'm going to the imaging center to get it checked and make sure there is no sign of cancer, just to be safe. I wouldn't be doing this if I felt I was on the wrong course.

[Mint_Lemonade]

4 years ago I watched one of your videos and everything clicked for me. I always knew I was trans I was just in deep denial and didn’t understand the vocabulary. Thank you so much 💚 I watched hundreds of videos but it was yours that finally brought me acceptance

[Ratimus_]

The more you've repressed something, the more it's going to hurt when you finally start to deal with it. Doesn't mean dealing with it is wrong; that hurt is probably a big part of why you didn't deal with it in the first place.

For example, imagine someone who makes a habit of throwing all their trash into a spare bedroom because they're afraid of the neighbors seeing them taking the garbage out. One day, they think to themselves, "Maybe I should clean out that old room. It would feel really great to be able to use it again and not have all that smelly trash in there." Cleaning it up is going to take a lot of hard work. They're probably going to get dirty, and the whole place stinks. The discomfort they experience doesn't mean that cleaning up isn't the right thing to do. Despite how unpleasant it is, the things that keep them going are the satisfaction they feel at seeing things slowly improving and their ability to imagine how great it will feel when they've made even more progress.

[lindsaybelderson]

As someone who has been transitioning for 6 years I can fully relate to dysphoria getting worse, and for me it got a lot worse and it was really hard for me for at least two years, as far as I'm concerned it was a combination of the HRT and grief over going through the wrong puberty and dealing with its irreversible effects, euphoria was and still is only fleeting and quite rare, but I have no doubts or regrets. The idea of being forced to live as a man again made and still very much makes me sick to the stomach, however, whilst dealing with the increased dysphoria and anxiety was hell at times, there were definitely benefits, too. The huge increase in my emotional IQ, as well as being challenging in terms of self awareness, also made me more empathetic in a really positive way and killed off my horribly high sex drive and addiction to web porn. That was how I knew I was on the right track.
I still have episodes of dysphoria now, but vocal cord and genital surgery as really helped and I'm hoping my upcoming facial surgery will help reduce dysphoria to a really manageable level based on the mundane insecurities everyone has from time to time about how they look. Everyone's journey is different, for some reason mine has entailed going to hell and back countless dozens of times. This I believe, is simply how it is for some adults grappling with those irreversible puberty related issues, and it is simply a long and hard road that cannot be shortcutted.

[madeline_alice]

i appreciated this for how affirming it was for my own journey, hearing how these haven’t been my experience. thanks for this video. dr. z! i needed it especially today as i am going for referral letter for orchiectomy from psychiatrist today

[jadeforsaken]

How do you know if these are signs you are on the wrong path vs. guilt with scrupuloucity OCD?

[dochics]

All I wish was I changed my self long ago now to old, because it takes years to complete the transaction ❤ but no problem at who I am a feminine guy and feminine girl ❤❤❤

[shado-]

I haven't started to medically transition yet. I do plan to its just that I have a LOT of mental problems to untangle first. For example: what tipped me off that I might be transgender was that I had always thought about what id would be like to be a girl, even when I was younger. That feeling only grew stronger when I started peuberty. I was taking a medication that caused me to develop female breasts at this time and it had only became more prevalent in my freshman year of high school. I hadn't noticed until some of my peers started to call me "titty boy" and started to pick on me for it. It was mostly female students that would do it too. As a person who was a victim of bullying for a majority of my school life, mostly by female students, it had developed into a bit of internalized misogyny. It didn't help that my stepmother was constantly verbally abusing me either. It took a few years, after me moving out, that it wasn't the "titty" part that hurt more. It was the "boy" part that hurt more. This mental dichotomy of simultaneously wanting to be a girl and fearing girls leads me to a sort of paralyzing fear towards transitioning that is only exacerbated by the fear of being attacked by women in women-only spaces. It hurts. Currently, im trying to separate the fear of women from the fear of transitioning. It's a struggle and it will probably be a bit before I'm able to transition.

[RemyGriffinTrans]

In ways I feel lucky I’m demisexual and didn’t have any relationship responsibilities when I knew I was trans.
Great channel as always 🏳️‍⚧️❄️🌸🤍🌸❄️

[Federica-vt]

I started on the wrong path, with self administration of HRT but I was so happy and euphoric. Infortunately the HRT was wrong for me because I'm not binary and I'm a slender person. The blood job was perfect but after one year there was no phisical result a part impotence and happines. Then the autorities blocked my post and I was getting made due hormones addiction. I had no phisical result because the HRT move the fat in the body but I have no fat at all.

[TheClarity]

So I want ffs but I’m nervous about it and I’m not sure it’s a sign I’m on the wrong path with it or if it’s understandable anxiety. I have previous trauma from a failed surgery a little while ago.