The 3 Most Important Red Flags You’ve Never Heard Of - Matthew Hussey

Chris and Matthew Hussey discuss 3 unknown red flags you should look out for. What does Matthew Hussey think is one of the more damning red flags? What does it mean to Matthew Hussey when someone doesn't honor their word? What does it mean to occupy the same emotional space according to Matthew Hussey?

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[shikyokira]

3 big red flags in a relationship
1. Not being responsible
2. Often break promises
3. Not sharing the same moral and emotional world

[steveanimatrix]

He just named all of the reasons I don't trust the government and have a bad relationship with it.

[ab-qnkv]

apologies aren't necessarily taking responsibility. people say "sorry" all the time but continue the same behavior. ill take actionable change over a apologies any day.

[Powerful_TDFAM]

I didn't realize how much I needed to hear this clip. I have been going through a really tough time with someone who refuses to apologize and tries to push things back on me. I needed to hear this last bit about them being in a different universe.

[gardenchill]

5 Key red flags people often miss in relationships:
Their actions do not match their words.
They can't laugh at themselves.
You cannot be all the different parts of yourself around them.
It's difficult to share bad news with them.
They attribute and assume malice on your part when something goes wrong.

[gaiusbaltar]

04:51 "We equate proximity and closeness to a shared experience and a shared moral and emotional world. And their not the same things. You can share the same bit of carpet with someone for years and think that you're on the same page about things, and then when something goes wrong that person is like -- you realize you're with an alien."

I'm dead. I've never heard this being put into words so succinctly, ever.

[FancyForestPerson]

Biggest red flag: someone who has a disproportionate reaction to being told “no”.
Do not move forward with a person who doesn’t respect boundaries.

[laviedandre]

An apology without a change in behaviour is simply manipulation.

[kevvymetal]

As a former general manager I can see a lot of parallels between hiring and dating. As with dating you need to be aware of the people that fudge through the interview and say all the right things - only to fall right off after hiring. Those are the ones you skip the pep talks and just get rid of asap. Just like dating ;)

[cprbeats]

me: what are your red flags? Her; light blue crocs on a grown man!

[GrayScoutEpsilon]

Socks and Crocs. The flag Chris refuses to talk about.

[andrewkraz]

When the reality overrides the fantasy!...that's when you know who is truly by your side. My ex, who I was engaged to for 2 and a half years, left me to go and pursue her art career and another lover while I was in heart failure and awaiting open heart surgery. Her reason was, "She didn't want to be my nurse!" I am now fitter than I have ever been. 💪😊✋️

[EricaBerry]

These three things are everything. For family, for relationships, for friendships and for work.

[jencrews]

Mr. Hussey. You just changed the game for me and unlocked a pattern I’ve experienced throughout my life you when you equated narcissism within incompetence. Everything makes sense now. There are no words for how grateful I am!

[Real_MisterSir]

The opposite is also often true where people over-apologize and never show what their own true standards actually are, and what they seek in their relation with you. Dating someone who isn't being upfront with what they engage in a relationship for, both for good and bad, rarely has a positive outcome.

If you apologize and mean it, then make sure you attempt to change whatever behavior caused the issue (if its not a random coincidental mistake that we all make from time to time).
If you keep apologizing, it means you don't actually desire to improve any behavior, you just seek to be accepted for it and use apologies as a payment method.

[Frontierhouse]

Crocs. Red flag. Love your content Chris.

[Marthyboy]

I'm 35, 13 years married as of yesterday, and have watched tons of friends/family/acquaintances get divorced.

Here's my 3:

1) Focuses on/considers first themselves, then others, and THEN their partner. It's very easy to not notice this when you're in love with someone..

2) Tries to be the sole-boundary/rule setter. This often comes with them trying to rationalize away your boundaries/rules (this is different than simply disagreeing with your opinion on how things should be).

3) Becomes overly defensive and/or angry, or completely shuts down after even minor criticism. No one likes to be "corrected" or criticized, but when everything is an attack, that person is simply not ready for a serious relationship.

[chipsteve]

3:44 In my last LTR, the initial 5 month dating phase went great. Then i gave her commitment. Only after this, a series of inconsistencies in her words and behavior occurred. I think it was the 4th red flag when something broke in me, and for the first time, like 7-8 months into knowing her, I suddenly don't trust what she was up to on a Friday night. That was a painful and awful experience. There was really no coming back from that.

[mark-normanlumago]

I have listened to this podcast 3 times so far, and Wooow!!! Just Wow. Thank you So much guys. Matt, you're a hero. Thank you so much and for me, this is by far the very best Chris, I learned so much.

[Diomedes]

Biggest physical queue red flag: crazy eyes.
And no, that isn't hyperbole. The sociopathic stare is a thing.