A #NARCISSIST EXPLAINS- WHY #NARCISSISTS VIEW CONSTANT FORGIVENESS AS PERMISSION TO TREAT YOU WORSE

WHY NARCISSISTS VIEW CONSTANT FORGIVENESS AS PERMISSION TO TREAT YOU WORSE

Welcome to The #Narcissists' Code. If this is your first video, my name is Lee and I am a self aware narcissist. I've been in therapy for my personality disorder since 2017 and it has definitely changed my life because without it, I would have lost everything.

The point of these videos is to help bring awareness from the other side of the #narcissistic *buse spectrum. All my videos give perspective on why many narcissists do what they do and the possible different reasons behind them. The abuse victims get validation and the #Narcissists (those that are willing) get to see that you can get help and that you are not alone.

You can find me on -

[jazzygee]

Being with a narcissist is goona be the worst thing that ever happened to you in your lifetime..

[dianetgomez]

Your words are so damn true!!! I forgave and he didn’t even Trauma bond is real, but I’ve finally understood and I’ve moved on

[dominikasabolova]

Forgivness doesn’t meant accepting back the person. You can forgive and reject the person because it’s the best for you ( and for them also because otherwise they never learn and hit the rock bottom) 🙏💕 Forgive and enjoy living your life happily .

[darlenesmith]

The more you forgive the worse it gets, you have to forgive them within yourself, for healing purposes but never, never let the narc know. Clip, cut or burn the strings. Block every way for them to contact you. Heal yourself and move on to better, it is working for me, in the healing process now. It hurts but I know I’m better off without him!!

[daviedood]

The trauma bonded as we know is formed by the up n down push n pull dynamics.

What we need to really look at is what forms NEXT after the trauma bond.

It's enmeshment. The full consumption and enmeshment of the victim and narcissist has all of this binding etc. Then when the narcissist leaves or the victim escapes, everything gets RIPPED apart. Half them with you and half you with them. Then triggers come into play. This allows the narcissist to have "omnipresence" in their mind. No matter where that person goes, there will ALWAYS be a trigger.

It's like a photo album with photos in it. You see that tree, a picture pops up. You see that sofa, a picture pops up. One must get rid of all items given to you, rearrange furnature etc and sieze those areas once again. Re create NEW memories in those areas. It's like taking the photo out, and replacing it with a new one.

Those triggers come back and a NEW photo pops up. A better one, a happier mote pleasing one.

[justme-xeun]

That is so true, i forgave alot and i got the uglier shittier behavior from him every time after that. Not forgiving anymore and he can do whatever he wants to do

[katherinesmith]

I thank god for your insight. Your videos are helping me get the strength to leave the narcissist I've been hurt by for so very long.

[elisenicoletti]

Yes, Lee…forgiveness is HUGE in both the 12 Steps and for Christians. I think you need to look into both and address how we can work on congruency in these two areas with all that you are saying. I totally see your perspective …but forgiveness is vital to gain spiritual and emotional health. 🙏🏻💕

[apple]

Now it's like what the hell was I doing with him?!?

[chloelageaux]

Yes, the Bible says that we should forgive but it also speaks on getting and utilizing wisdom. Wisdom will keep us out of alot of situations and relationships that we have no business being in. I'm sure that the trauma bond is difficult but you have to choose your hard. Narcissist will always blame shift and abuse you if you let them, so don't continue to let them!

[laquishaharrison]

I am a Christian n I saw how my narc was taking advantage of my forgiveness . I'm on no contact . I will not go back to him . He pulled out his gun on me, to shut me up one time . He has put his hands on me . The lord has delivered me from him . I can't go back.. now I'm on the other side of the US n I'm happy n peaceful . I forgive from a far. I forgive n let the lord deal with him.

[isobeltotten]

a lot of my recovery involved coming to the understanding that there was nothing wrong with me for being forgiving and seeing the best in people. that being said, i am now much less forgiving and see people more realistically. just like it's not morally wrong to wear a nice suit in a bad neighborhood, but it's not a good idea either. i am confused by people who know they are with an abuser and stay in the relationship since for me i only realized what happened after it was over and was then able to resist attempts to scoop me back up. i guess it is hard to tell whether that kind of behaviour is extreme codependence or something else that i have experienced with people with borderline personality disorder where they claim that i am abusive and actively trying to hurt them (when i am not) but also don't see the logic in me saying "if i am toxic for you and making you feel bad, then i should leave"

[torque]

Does that explain why they never forgive anything you have ever done.

[annettedevries]

Thank you, i needed to hear this....🙏🙏🙏

[apple]

Uber delivered sorry your right. Didn't even apologize face to face

[mzjayalwayz]

Lee, I love the content because it’s straight shooting and no bs from you. But honestly, since we’re talking about it, a lot of people don’t think with a narcissistic mentality. More than half of your followers didn’t even realize for significant amounts of time that they were being taken up top in these situations. Never even considered that. So while it seems like common sense to you, and thank you for creating awareness, it sounds hella shitty to a person who doesn’t think like you. In my mind - Who would prey on someone? Manipulate, lie, cheat. For what purpose. Ohhh personal gain. In my mind, a person who seeks to come up off of stepping on someone else’s neck to get there has a demonic spirit. Spiritually speaking it’s what that jezebel spirit you deny having means. No integrity. Does not know God. Because those are not necessarily righteous behaviors. Make it make sense.
Emotionally speaking the narcissist way of thinking seems to stem from a dismissive avoidant attachment style which stems from childhood trauma (there are 4 attachment styles. Look them up. There are quizzes to help determine which style you are)…trauma meaning a negative subconscious response stemming from an experience or event. Trauma caused from lack of empathy or nurturance from one or both parents. Since our parents are the first experience of relationship that we have since birth. In order to avoid having to deal with or face your own emotions you’ve become dismissive of them. Lack of self love. Lack of self awareness. You don’t even care about your own feelings, how could you possibly care for anyone else’s feelings 🤷🏽‍♀️
The codependency IS the problem. Also stemming from childhood. We need to figure out and heal ourselves before trying to figure out someone else and their issues

[sandratrammell]

You said to find the Bible verse about forgiveness ☺️ I think o found it……There are a few. In Luke 17:3-4, it says we must forgive if someone ask to be forgiven - over and over. However, if they sin against you & won’t listen to you when you speak to them one on one - the steps you take are found in Matthew 18: 15-17. We must always forgive in our hearts but we don’t necessarily have to reconnect.

[Canaday]

“Sorry” is just a convenient word and Forgiveness in the ex I divorced mind means he got away with it and gives himself the green light to not only do it again, but multiply and intensify it.

[Beautybme]

That's exactly what happened to me but why does he like to make me think that hes doing so bad when hes really hes doing good But hes been like that since day 1 I don't try to figure him out anymore I'm totally free to hear somebody else's problem And if he tries those flying monkeys I gotta backup he doesn't want to see his pictures all over Facebook and only over a Facebook and all over social media So he knows better to leave me alone And I have voicemails

[margaretchaney]

Mine must be on the lower spectrum, he is willingly learning how to apologize from a worksheet we both have. In progress. I will forgive in the presence of the Lord Jesus Christ for Jesus sake and MY well-being.But I do not tell my narc that I forgave for my sake. And I dish out a consequence. He knows what for, I don't have to tell him.