Narcissism Is a Defense Against BPD | OTTO KERNBERG

What lies beneath a narcissistic defense? Otto Kernberg describes Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) and its 'pathological grandiose self.' On the surface, the person seems to be integrated and looks much better than other personality disorders. But...

Otto Kernberg, a pioneer in the field of severe personality disorders and Borderline in particular (and creator of Transference-Focused Psychotherapy), discusses Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) from the viewpoint of clinician / ridiculously experienced expert.

[AlastorTheNPDemon]

"Grandiosity and emptiness at the same time."
Nailed it.

[proactivex]

Fascinating. If you see a narcissist get broken out of their frame you witness a bpd type meltdown. Then they regroup and pretend it never happened.

[jamespurcer]

In every narcissist I've encountered, the most dominant trait I've seen is personal insecurity and a continual attempt to cover it up.

[bondalemecovillage]

So basically a Narcissist is a paradox of someone who is full of themselves but rather empty

[smokingcrab]

What I hate is when I am called the narcissist by abusive people for merely standing up for myself

[Alex-jslg]

I also suspect that BPD can somewhat result *from* narcissistic interpersonal relationships. The gaslighting, manipulation, and inconsistency can leave a person feeling empty, disconnected from their feelings, and without identity.

[joyinsidemytears]

2:00 “the excessive need to be admired without any mutuality of relationship….” THAT clinched it for me

[dama]

THE NARCISSIST'S PRAYER:
That didn't happen.
And if it did, it wasn't that bad.
And if it was, that's not a big deal.
And if it is, that's not my fault.
And if it was, I didn't mean it.
And if I did...
You deserved it!

[MrFredsAdventures]

To quote Sam Vaknin “narcissism isn’t a choice. Narcissistic behavior is a choice.”

[scottlaux]

They build a grandiose view of themselves. Then, the lies and gaslighting are woven into a fortress.

[btlfilmmedia]

Quite a few narcissists are Health professionals...One area never discussed

[Ekagraum]

I acted as a narcissist in my teens, then psychedelic trips killed something inside, i felt guilt for the things i did for the first time, i reflected on my behavior for the first time, during next years i tried to avoid hurting anyone, but i couldn't do it towards myself, my mind turned against me, i've been diagnosed with BPD in the last few months, now i'm trying to manage it without building false defenses again.
Disorders are tough.

[bonnieyuse]

If you have the Capacity to Humbly Self Reflect and even Honestly Ask yourself if you're a Narcissist... you're Not!

[VideoMagician]

1. Narcissism is a secondary defense against the fragmenting of one's self-concept, one's concept of significant others, and the struggle between idealized and persecutory segments of experience.
2. Narcissism is a self-constructed pathological, grandiose, sense of self. This is constituted by ideal aspect of the self, ideal aspects of others as if one possessed them, and ideal aspirations of the self as if one achieved them. One's need of others meanwhile is denied and devalued.
3. A deep split between the idealization of self and a sense of victimhood from others come before the underlining borderline structure against which the narcissistic structure was a defense.

[oscarballard]

Unfortunately, there can be confusion and mistake when superficially evaluating personalities and behavior. Some people, due to trauma, lack of role models or simply being introverted choose to not be "social", tolerant and accepting of others and the behaviors they may each display and act out. Much like a dog that has been abused, many folk's decide it's not healthy or safe to risk interacting fully with the world. I have someone I call a friend who is very broken and has been a very long time. He most certainly qualifies for both diagnoses, has combat related ptsd, 35 years recovery in aa, and a long history of violence. I watch him struggle with life on so many levels and it is sad. Hearing where he came from brings clarity to why he is the way he is and being in his 70's, change to any sincere degree is not going to happen. They need our love and compassion, along with clear boundaries and understanding of what tolerable behavior and speak are and what is not.

[DNRG]

In the end, the narcissists clearly reveal themselves when they are unable to put themselves in another's shoes...showing an inability to empathize.

[harleyfsbo]

This is VERY accurate. Very few psychologists / therapists appear to be talking about this - in my own experience dealing with someone with a Covert NPD I have actuslly seen a very similar phenomenon ... person starts of as BPD and then either progress to NPD (esp. Covert type) or starts alternating between the two depending on different stressors.

[havadatequila]

I wish every blogger and pyschologist would watch this clip before writing their next clickbait "How to protect yourself from the big bad narcissist" post. It's a pathology, not strategy.

[edgreen]

As a retired therapist I am pleased to hear him again. Splitting predominates and they lack object constancy. Grandiosity as a defense against their dependency.

[barefootarts]

This is one of the best descriptions I have ever heard. This video is 7ys old. And I've explored some of this material on YT for that long, and just found this.

This is evidence, that the YT algorithm is not very discerning. Soon, the most quality information will be entombed beneath generations of catchy hype and gibberish.