How Narcissism Starts & How to Prevent It

Child and adolescent psychiatrist Aaron Krasner discusses how narcissism develops in a person over time, and what parents can do to prevent pathological narcissism in their children.

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We talked with Aaron Krasner about Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) and the mental health field in general. He is a psychiatrist, and an expert on emerging personality disorders in adolescents, among (many) other things.

Disclaimer: "Please be advised this video may contain sensitive information. All content found within this publication (VIDEO) is provided for informational purposes only. All cases may differ, and the information provided is a general guide. The content is not intended to be used as a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you have specific questions about a medical condition, you should consult your doctor or other qualified medical professional for assistance or questions you have regarding a medical condition. Studio Comma The, LLC and BorderlinerNotes does not recommend any specific course of medical remedy, physicians, products,opinion, or other information.

[diornotwar]

-don't have kids if you're going to be distracted during their childhood
-don't have kids if you don't feel comfortable with giving, giving, giving, giving to your child (time, school supplies, clothes, emotional support, etc) and receiving nothing or almost nothing, in return
-don't have kids if you want it fulfill "social norms" and make you look good (because you have to love your child unconditionally, even if they turn out to be trans, disabled, an atheist, etc)
-don't put your kids on a pedestal and act like they're better than others. and don't abuse them and treat them like they're worse than others.

etc

[dawn]

“Misperceived threats”: herein lies the continual losing battle. You can’t force someone to see the truth, if they swear by their own misguided perceptions. You can’t love someone enough to get them to see. You just can’t.

[AmyK]

My sadistic father was a narcissist. I experienced sexual, physical and emotional abuse at his hands. I cut of contact in my 20’s and it was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made in my life. I now have a lovely, peaceful life.

[pallasade]

“Or to attack misperceived threats” that’s a HUGE one. They will take a simple question and escalate that into a threat and then attack back accordingly, when in reality that person was not attacking at all.

[cht]

I grew up isolated because both my parents ignored me. Alone and without any emotional support, I became invisible.

[etaokha]

Thats why its best to walk away and leave them to their karma rather than confrontation. Just choose your peace over drama

[mahjamila]

The most true affirmation i have ever heard:
Narcissism is reallyy dangerous !

[Lucylu]

I believe the most shocking thing about this video is how he is able to explain narcissim so precisely in less than 5 minutes. I am absolutely bewildered. I was reluctant to watch this video in the first place because I thought it would not explain it properly. Boy was I wrong. He's explained something that society makes extremely complex in less than 5 minutes. Now I understand why treating narcissim is so hard and also why it is created in childhood. Bless the children. However a person's past is never a reason to tolerate their present toxicity. Protect your peace at all costs.

[naongakalumbi]

Confronting narcissists never landed me anywhere good. Now I just about them. My peace is more important

[marvinthiessen]

Tell me about it Doc, I was raised by a narcissistic mother. It took me years to understand why she was so screwed up, eventually I figured it out. It's cancerous for a family to endure over decades. I think her father was one as well, the apple usually doesn't fall far from the tree.

[MamaBearHomeschools]

He just described my mother perfectly! I'm 43 and I have just finally realized that my mother is a narcissist and that is why she is so angry and abusive.

[TofuTeo]

That's why Fred Rogers is so helpful for me. In this shows, he talks to children, but he tells you things that are still 100% relevant to your adult self today, like "I like the way you're growing."

[helenapalla]

Literally, it's ALL about good + smart + healthy Parenthood!
FOR REAL.
NOT everyone is ready, let alone ideal to become a parent.
Food for thought🙏

[parsleyrose]

As someone with a highly delusional narcissistic mother this hit spot on. Some people are simply untreatable because they’re deathly allergic to self awareness and they will never entertain any viewpoint no matter how mild which opposes or contradicts their delusional narrative. And there truly are no lengths to which they won’t go to defend that delusion. Can’t argue with crazy, best just to walk away

[danmalone]

Dysfunctional families normally don't plan for anything because they are too busy fighting the fires of chaos due to their own lack of understanding.

[cellosong]

There is little doubt that early parental abuse and neglect can lead a child to develop a false self to protect themselves. But I think we underestimate the threat that forces outside the home, outside families create for many children, especially when they enter school. Highly sensitive children frequently face bullying by peers and callous treatment by teachers. This societal abuse drives some into narcissistic defenses needed to survive in tough environments. Other children are so idealized in homes where the parents focus inordinately on "achievement" that they feel they fall short of expectations. They create a false self to cover up their internal disappointment in themselves because they believe the "real me" will never satisfy these achievement oriented parents. I could go on, but I think there are many paths to narcissism, not just the "I had parents who didn't love me properly" scenario. Some children have genetic aspects that lead to narcissism as well - more psychopathic types. They are "rewards" motivated children who have little to no empathy for their parents or any other authority figure.

[jelkaopacic]

This guy is right. Narcissism is so DANGEROUS!!!

[jennyhateseverything]

My dad is a narcissist because of his extremely abusive and unstable childhood and he continued the cycle and I’m really scared because I see myself in him. I don’t want to be like that. I need to be better.

[Cloudybubbless]

Finally a video that doesn’t stigmatize but that understands what’s beneath the surface

[aleciawimer]

Some children are just hyper-focused on promoting their own sense of greatness, and that originates within themselves. They want to be elevated in everyone’s eyes as way above ordinary-as EXTRAORDINARY!!! They hate the thought of being average. Our society rewards this type of person, and greatly reinforces this behavior.