How To Become Securely Attached In 5 Steps

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🔵 CHAPTERS

0:00 Attachment theory
2:35 Step 1, Being intentional about change
3:45 Step 2, Having surrogate attachment figures
5:03 Step 3, Redefining your identity and worth
6:10 Step 4, Family of origin work
7:38 Step 5, Reaching outward

🔵 ATTACHMENT THEORY

🔵 REFERENCES

Dansby Olufowote, R. A., Fife, S. T., Schleiden, C., Whiting, J. B. (2019). How can I become more secure?: A grounded theory of earning secure attachment. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, 46(3). doi: 10.1111/ jmft.12409)

🔵 GRAPHICS AND THUMBNAIL

#LewisPsychology

[abdulc]

This is wonderful and very helpful, thank you. Re step 4, I personally dont think forgiveness is necessary to move forward, however acceptance is necessary. Re step 5, reminds me of life coaches, e.g., helping others move forward. Thanks again.

[FinFiverr]

Thanks for this. Pretty sure one couldn't move through all the steps without the help of a good therapist. Looks like a lot of work.

I think many people don't really understand what forgiveness means - from my point of view it doesn't mean making yourself ok with what happened - it wasn't ok. It means putting it all down, not dragging it about with you any more, letting it continue to ruin your life.

I recognise my parents were damaged by war, without the tools to help them heal from it. They were not purposefully wicked.

It's great that therapists like you are available to help with the consequences of all that now.

[scherzo]

Happy to have you back. I hope you’re doing well!!

[valentinagiusti]

Always top videos, thanks. Concise, understandble and with practical steps. Thanks !

[Lynn-jlyz]

I love your meditations or I should say your talks. They are very well informed about things like what happens in the brain, for any number of reasons

May i simply askthat you talk about borderline personality disorder? because I hear you saying that you can choose this or choose that and people with bordrlije personality are terrified of abandonment, real or perceived.... and as I speak and for several years now I've been abandoned to awful little boarding homes for lots of money in rent, And the present one is costing me $900 a month and I'm told by the manager that he doesn't need the money when he gets somebody in here fast and they leave almost as fast as they get here because of things that are going on here, verbal abuse and gossip between all of about residents. Plus: same thing from the woman who cooks here. What happens to the mentally ill in mental health awareness month here in the US!!

You sound like you might be from the UK, and I don't know, really.

Here in America, it's May and May is supposed to be a mental health awareness month

I got verbally abused by some overworked nurse in the ER, here in America at most private or public hospitals or in general, all the nurses and psych tecchs, etc... at least in the hospitals where I've been admitted to psych units all over Birmingham Alabama… They want their 12 hour shifts so that they can have three days or four days on and then three or four off and so they get stressed and they take it out on whom?

Maybe you guess correctly: the mentally ill?

[Dr.AlessandroDrago]

Is secure attachment an idealization of human being? What's your opinion? I observe that, everyone, begins with one of the 3 attachment styles and, afterwards, we can create a secure one.

[unnikrishnanvnr]

it's been a long time. Where were you?