Gabor Maté on Understanding Grief as an Antidote to Trauma

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[paulademichele]

What a relief FINALLY to hear someone with his depth of experience say - "trauma is not the same as suffering, trauma is not the same as pain, trauma is not the same as fear, those are natural responses to events. Trauma is when we get stuck" in one of these. One new cultural story line among millennials in particular is that all suffering and pain is automatically trauma - it's not. The idea that everything is trauma leads to everyone feeling they are a victim - and cannot choose, cannot have agency issuing in action. Which leads to a narcissistic attitude in self-examination.

[GnosisMan]

When Gabor said that "grief is the antidote to suffering, Jung said it differently: "all neurosis is a substitute for legitimate suffering" Of the many psychotherapist and mental health providers, Gabor is the second person I know who know better on suffering. The first one is Caroline Myss who referred to those who can't break the cycle of suffering as woundoloy. Says she

*_"Many people in the midst of a "process" of healing, I saw, are at the same time feeling stuck. They are striving to confront their wounds, valiantly working to bring meaning to terrible past experiences and traumas, and exercising compassionate understanding of others who share their wounds. But they are not healing. They have redefined their lives around their wounds and the process of accepting them. They are not working to get beyond their wounds. In fact, they are stuck in their wounds"_*

I wish Gabor would demonstrate with a documentary on how he gets his clients to release themselves from their traumatic past. That would be very helpful to many who suffer and can see that they can end their suffering as well.

[robynhope]

Makes sense. Crying isnt popular bc it makes one feel vulnerable. I did a lot of crying in my lifetime, but have no more tears left.

[queengoblin]

Very cool video. Trauma is being stuck, not suffering. This has been my experience exactly. Grief is the great release of stuckness. Allowing ourselves to grieve is the first step to reclaiming power and movement in our lives.

[authentic_]

Grieving and/or accessing the agency within us - antidote to trauma.

Thanks a ton to Gabor Mate for educating us with such stuff. 🙏

[cyndimoring]

To grieve you must stop disassociating from what happened in order to acknowledge that it really happened. And then go for there to rebuild your lifetime

[shamilis]

Thats an interesting take on trauma. If the child was facilitated to genuinely grieve something that was overwhelming, they would not get stuck at it.. its in a way the same as trauma processing, acceptance and integration. The idea of trauma having an antidote is striking though! Thank you! Lovely interview :)

[lyndanixon]

Thank you for this.I lost my son tragically a year ago.i grieve for him and find myself on a difficult path some days..

[matthewmontano]

Can confirm. Watching these vids makes yourself an experiment and it's kinda fun and satisfying.

[MichaelMcLoughlin]

This is a very good interview. The content is transformational. The interviewer lets Dr. Mate talk. Other Youtube interviewers of Dr. Mate spend too much time talking themselves.

[jowyschwarz]

i just let myself feel overwhelming emotion whatever it is, this is the heal method that i knew

[FIDIOT-cringe]

Gabor's lampshade being askew makes me trust him more.

[BeMore]

thx... love this knowledge and wisdom... love videos to remind me of key parts of my foundation for living

[graigmoriarty]

Excellent. Much appreciated, thank you.

[ljkohable]

Wow. I learn another thing again. Thank you Dr Gabor

[Tedzee]

I want to ask Gabor Maté, what about Autism Aspergers?
They are more stressed over time,
Poeple say there is also the autistic reaction to a trauma. Is there a link with Autism asperger? Does it have a link?

[lenablochmusic]

But isn't feeling grief and deep pain a feeling of helplessness and hopeless isolation at the same time? When one is alone feeling grief and pain, crying and thinking thoughts? And there is no possibility to reach out to any physical person?

[FaisalAhmed-kgep]

Hi,
Is this interview part of a course/series which I can watch?

[abumthedon]

Gabor mate you helped us a lot i don't know how to thank you 💯❄️🌱

[abumthedon]

Grieve is not hoplessness or harm bad. No grief e is going through what happened and reacting with it naturally and. Feel the feelings.

Trauma is LIKE and opened wounds not healed. Triggers you in life and make you heavy and effect your life.

You gotta return and connect with yourself and face your wounds and dealing with them and heal them🧬🌱💯❄️☀️