BPD & Ineffective Anger | MARSHA LINEHAN

Marsha Linehan explains the function of anger and how she manages it in her clients using DBT.

Marsha Linehan, creator of the highly-regarded Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), discusses Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) from the viewpoint of a clinician / researcher of the highest caliber.

[Calibri]

Telling someone to "cut it out" when they are taking their anger out on you isn't necessarily invalidating their anger. It's demonstrating that you have boundaries and here is how to defend those boundaries. The client needs to see how to define and defend their own boundaries, AND they need to see how others do the same in a healthy way.

[pamhunter]

Ii was diagnosed recently w bpd @60 yrs.... And ive never felt such anger! Seething, and i cant shake it. Angry at my wasted life, angry at teachers and parents for not doing anything, angry at our terrible mental health system that has let me down.... Ive never had such long ladting anger, like 4 mmonths everyday! Im sarcastic, anxious, and just rude which is totally new for me... I then hate mysf for being mean, then sad again for being such a fuck up... round and round..
.

[game__growth]

I've said/known for a long time that anger is just sad's bodyguard. Sad is vulnerable & feels like death to the ego/identity; anger is self (ego) preservation. Cool to hear my knowing 'confirmed'. I am currently participating in a DBT skills group & finding these clips of Marsha has been a lovely surprise. Thanks so much for posting them.

[thereseoconnor]

I know when I'm angry it is due to avoiding sadness. DBT is helping me so much.

[annieonymous]

I experience anger as fear, sadness, and frustration.

[tiffanybee]

I don’t like when I’m angry either but saying cut it out is like saying just stop being sad. I wasn’t aloud to be angry as a child or as a teenager, as many can probably relate. This feels more like stop feeling your emotions, suppress them. I need an outlet for my anger, it’s separate from my sadness.

[dizilly]

I understand the reactions that people are having here where it seems like Linehan is being dismissive of people's anger. As a therapist myself, let me explain... we have ongoing relationships with our clients. Linehan is talking about repeated, ongoing expressions of anger where the client is stuck and they are taking it out on her, possibly going to throw something at her, or just vent into the phone, and she can't help them change their behavior if she allows it to continue. (we are also human beings and can't conduct therapy if we are being threatened.) The therapeutic relationship is an actual, real relationship where the client is meant to learn how to deal with their feelings not just continue the same patterns. She's describing something that is a 2 min sound bit taken out of a larger context that is not serving the wider audience here and making it sound like she doesn't want to hear any anger at all. It's really difficult when it's just a clip. I know people (not clients of mine) who have been stuck in their anger for their whole lives, including years of therapy where the therapist doesn't create any interventions for the anger and just keep referring out....person stays stuck and gets worse, losing their health, their work, their relationships. It becomes a degenerative cycle.

[Betternow]

I know where anger can land me today. I mean actual losing it". I'm in DBT in Medford Oregon and no anger is not effective because their are cosequences and I've suffered them. A guy told me my face was gross at work recently and instead of telling him to f off and leave work I took a time out and did pros and cons. I knew my anger wasn't going to be effective and he ended up apologizing later to me. It still hurts though and I'm sad and hurt, and I can feel those things without getting out of control angry. I also work the 12 steps of AA and have maintained some sober time. Thank you Marsha you Rock, I appreciate your hard work and that you care. Borderline sucks bad.

[a.p]

When I’m not crying, depressed and self loathing - I am angry.

[cadalice]

Yes, to avoid sadness! I felt myself being understood. 😢

[drnddrnda]

so simple and so true..I am constantly angry, these are objective reasons, but I myself notice that it is excessive..and the only thing I do not want to face even under threat is sadness..it is an untenable state...now everything is clear to me..thank you..

[MrJerryStevenson]

So this series is amazing. I do audio for media and am BPD. I had to find a new therapist and care team. I haven’t yet. Marsha’s influence on me for idealization was a breakthrough for me this week. I’m really tryin to keep the education going while I’m not in treatment. Thank you guys so much.

[bertrandirene]

Thank you Marsha for helping us to face life every day.

[birdboy]

Anger stops my anxiety which I'm guessing us covering up my sadness

[adamd.]

Great video. I found it very helpful.

[JC-xxdm]

How do we deal with anger when society is falling apart ? How does a therapy created during peaceful times reconcile with what could end up feeling like and possibly becoming pure chaos ? Do we just accept it or do we unleash rage ?
When is anger / rage acceptable and wise mind ?

[marinanabutovskiy]

Anger is an emotion that we observe once persons nervous system has been triggered by whatever triggers them Just because people cannot hold space for other peoples emotions doesnt mean they need to drop it because it is ineffective. Telling your clients to cut it out makes them disown their feelings. This eventually leads to many more problems.. What needs to happen is that they need to connect with their feeling of anger and explore why they are feeling what they are feeling first before they can decide what to do with it.

[sarittas]

What about avoiding anger and angry people ? I always feel that I don’t tolerate anger and when I am with angry people I feel attacked and I shaking

[sueblanchard]

Really?! Rather than telling the client "Cut it out, " why not work through the anger? Anger is a release and a validation. Scolding the client with "Cut it out" does absolutely nothing to get rid of the anger. I've researched this exhaustively.

[lestudio]

There’s a difference between anger and being inappropriate.