Ending an Affair: Letting Go and Moving On

When an unfaithful spouse is attempting to move on and let go of their affair partner, there are a few non-negotiable stages they must pass through. Utilizing half measures and mere will power to white knuckle your way through almost never works and only prolongs the pain for all parties. Today I’ll be sharing the pivotal stages needed to find new vision for your spouse and for your potential future together.

- What kind of affair was it?
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- Amanda, Florida

HEAL with Affair Recovery:

-Reynolds, a LCSW, holds a Master's Degree in Social Work and is a clinical member of the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists. In 1992, Reynolds developed and began leading “affair recovery groups.” He received his Master's of Social Work from the University of Denver and completed three years of post-graduate training at the Colorado Institute for Marriage and Family Therapy. He has also worked at the nationally-known Minirth-Meier Tunnel & Wilson Clinic before moving on to private practice.

[SuperAlex]

This woman spend two years putting effort and struggling with her AP instead of dedicate this same effort in her marriage. During all of this, going to bed and woke up in the morning thinking about her AP, a therapist said to go and take this opportunity as a catalyst to a new future. That's is so unfair to any BP's in a situation like this but, guess what, they gonna say "don't focus on the unfairness and the injustice of the affair, let it go and move on". There's nothing so incredible as the human mind, it creates every possibles cenarios to acomodate our thoughts and fellings to give a sense of life and keep our lives moving on.

[AJ-lstn]

Hi. I am an unfaithful and this gave me so much hope. I am greatful for another chance from my husband. I too don't feel like i am a bad person, I just made a bad choice. I feel like i will never forgive myself for hurting my husband bad. Even though he has been unfaithful numerous times, i still don't feel justified. It feels horrible and gut wrenching. It was selfish of me. One thing I know, I will NEVER do this again. I am working on myself, to find out why I did it. Even if I end up alone, I must NEVER repeat this, ever in life again.

[vjs]

great video. She is right how can you trust someone who you cheated with. You can't!! You know what they are capable of doing. They can't have a mask on with you. It doesn't work. Move on and either work on your marriage or leave. You have to heal and make sure you don't do this. Move on

[jill]

Thanks for this vid, it helps on mydecision

[paytonduddynorrisnutsbigge]

I'm going through a marriage breakup its 9mths in now after the first 4 my wife finally came clean she had been seeing someone past 8mths torr my life apart we have 3 kids 2 youngest still dont know reason why Dad had to leave..so wrong we were together 21yrs, and I still can't come to terms..he was married to.

[rajis]

i am cheted by some one he married another living happly i am always facing pain that he is avoiding me what i have to do pls help me

[ofs]

What a great video. I only wish all unfaithful spouses listen to this.

[pw]

10 years I had affair for I did and still love her but I ended it lot off stress I do miss her and think about her a lot but I have a family but the pain ever day is hurting

[lochan]

FOR MARRIED PEOPLE: The feeling that you get in an affair can NEVER be love. Love comes from God, the same God who designed marriage and commanded us to honor it. I truly believe that God will not contradict Himself and put love in your heart for someone else other than your spouse. The feeling you have for the other person can be LUST, INFATUATION, ADMIRATION, OBSESSION, A SOURCE OF VALIDATION, A FORM OF ESCAPE or any other feeling that satan will USE to destroy your marriage (and push you to commit a SIN by breaking the VOW that you made before God). The devil will make you believe that what you feel for this other person is love when in fact it really ISN'T. That's what satan does. That's the reason he's called a LIAR and a DESTROYER.

"Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth." (1 Corinthians 13:6)

[utakwaistvibanez]

i had experience of being cheating on, i need to work abroad for my family back to the philippines then my wife had a affair with my friend almost 7months she was cheating on me..now my wife and i working for our relation its hard to trust again especially for me.. i hope you can help me i need some advice

[nikkiallen]

@lochan8180, Well said & right on! Thank you

[payat]

So hard because am having a relationship with a married man please I really want to end it, it’s make crazy 😢and depressed and I think this guy is really a cheater he love to sending msgs to random women 😔