How to let go of someone: the trick to releasing someone from your heart

Letting go is an emotional survival technique that everyone should learn. The paradox of heartbreak is that the negative emotions cause you to emotionally clench around the memory of the lost object. And you cannot let go of something that you are simultaneously clinging to. So the trick to letting go depends on cultivating gentle, positive emotions relative to the lost object, which allow you to relax and release. I'll explain more in this episode.

Orion is a licensed psychologist in the state of California.
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#lettinggo #heartbreak #release

[mrdee]

Accept you never knew them just a fantasy version that never existed. You don't miss them you miss yourself and how you felt.

[alexrock]

You can’t love someone into loving you back. Say this to yourself “ None of the things you are seeking are in the other person”, read that again and again repeat it 100 times if you have to until it clicks.

[Kurtis]

You don't miss them, you miss the feeling they temporarily bestowed upon you. Like drug addiction; heartbreak is withdrawal.

[colinlogan]

That last sentence. "To potentially save what is left of your life." Wow that cuts deep but is so true.

[mandymiller]

Sometimes holding on does more damage than letting go. Great advice! Thanks very much!

[JulesAlMighty]

“I bless you with love and release you to the Universe.”
This mantra has gotten me over many an ex boyfriend and even helped me to quit smoking. I say it out loud and I instantly feel lighter.

[maxdawg]

"she came from the streets... and to the streets she must return."

well, it's not that easy sometimes... as sometimes, you REALLY do care about the person and want to build a future with them. the biggest issue imo is EGO... thinking that you're the BEST person for them and that no one can love them more or better than you did.

well, butterflies don't belong in cages... so if they have to go, release them with care & love and wish them the best moving forward.

[debbiemetke]

I was told by someone that I "dodged a bullet" when the relationship didn't work out. That helped me deal with it and now I realize that was definitely right.

[Spectre_Starlord]

People who hurt me the most are the ones who made me grow. That's why I keep them in good memories and respect them for atleast helping me building up the better version of myself.

This is how I let go. It's comes natural to me.

Thank you Ryan for explaining myself to me.

[oambitiousone]

It also helps to remember how they weren’t so ideal

[jonw.]

I let go of someone six years ago. I still think about this person every day. I can't change the situation. Even though I still love this person, I know we are like oil and water in too many ways and we're just not compatible for any long term relationship. What we had was brief but it was something we both needed at the time. What came out of it was a lot of negativity. We went our separate ways and that was the end of it. As much as I wish things were different, reality says this is the way it is.

[kit]

“Potentially saving what’s left of your life”. Very poignant & true. You have to move on or you’ll be stuck there in your heart & mind forever.

[Drumbeat]

My only son married into a wealthy family and left me behind. Wasn't invited to the wedding and never met her or her family. My son and I had never ever had a problem in our relationship and this hit me broadside! He hasn't spoken to me in 4 1/2 years and I have 2 grandsons I will never know. The brain confusion this caused required a lot of un-necessary rationalization on my part. Try to explain something that contains no logic. I wish him well but the disrespect shown to me is a hard one to get over.

[kobragaming]

I think I’m realising that if you ever really loved them letting go is the only option that makes sense. If you cling to them too tightly it starts becoming more about you clinging to yourself and your own hurt ego than because you love them

[kestrel]

Having been on Earth for a while, I truly believe there is a beauty in this suffering. Perhaps not at first, but is revealing in terms of your psyche and others’.

[smustipher]

Need this video right now. Dealing with a flirtation with a married individual who has signalled verbally and physically that they are ok with cheating. I cannot let myself get used by a dishonst person who has demonstrated that they cannot be trusted.

[domsberisha]

Breakups are so painful. Letting go is a practice. Awareness is key in healthily detaching. I find that consciously cultivating emotions of gratitude as to develop gratitude as a default mindset makes everything in life easier. As well as reframing the meaning you assigned that person.

[blueskies]

I heard a therapist ask on a podcast once, "Do you believe that people are doing the best that they can?" My initial response was, "sometimes, " but then she elaborated.
Maybe they are having a bad day? Maybe they are in physical pain? Therefore, IN THAT MOMENT, are people doing the best that they can? It changed my response to a "yes".
That change in outlook started the transition from grief, to acceptance for me. It gets better, day-by-day.

[johannbarker]

Wow... I'm in tears. There is a part of me that loves this person, but another part that keeps battling with the bad. But you are absolutely right. Love, accept, let go.

[Amlux]

Yep, you aren’t really over letting anyone go until you adopt the attitude of love and affection with gratitude. I had to do this a few friends and since I’ve been able to do this I feel at peace.