#1 Neuroscientist: How to Motivate Yourself (and Others) to Change Any Behavior

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Do you want to know the secret to unlocking motivation in yourself or someone you love?

If you want to change any behavior for the better….

Or if you’ve got someone in your life (don’t we all?!) who you wish would change…

Today’s episode is for you.

You’ll learn why guilt, pressure, fear, crying, threats, and ultimatums will not help anyone change, and there’s a scientific reason why.

Then, you’ll learn the 3 very specific tactics that inspire anyone to quickly change their behavior for the better, including specific scripts that you can use with even the most stubborn people.

Teaching you today is #1 neuroscientist, Dr. Tali Sharot. She’s here to debunk the myths of behavior change and teach you how to make any change, big or small.

Dr. Sharot is a behavioral neuroscientist, professor at both University College London and MIT, and the director of the Affective Brain Lab at University College London.

Her research integrates neuroscience, behavioral economics, and psychology to study motivation and behavior change.

By the time you finish listening, you’ll know EXACTLY what to do to create any change you want.

00:00:00: Intro
00:00:50: Do you want to learn how to change people’s opinions and behaviors?
00:03:11: What we’re getting wrong about motivating the people we love.
00:05:21: This is what we actually should be doing before trying to change others.
00:08:19: How you are influencing people without even knowing it.
00:13:03: Why guilt, pressure, and fear will not help someone change.
00:18:44: The 3 specific tactics that will inspire anyone to change quickly.
00:22:25: How you should approach someone to make any behavior change.
00:24:03: Why is it so hard to make ourselves do what we should want to do?
00:27:14: Use this trick to get yourself to act now for future rewards.
00:30:49: How to use “progress tracking” to help someone be better with their money.
00:32:56: Dr. Tali Sharot’s favorite study on why positive feedback works.
00:36:24: The best parenting tip to get your kids to make a positive change in their life.
00:40:33: The importance of emphasizing rewards vs. punishments.
00:44:26: This is how change can enhance your well-being and increase happiness.
00:46:30: How to approach someone you love about a touchy subject.
00:49:23: How to help someone who is extremely resistant to change.
00:51:18: The science-backed ways to motivate yourself to change for good.
00:54:06: One of the most important things to keep you moving forward.

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#lifeadvice #selfdevelopment #habits

[PatK.]

I'm only 16 years old, but this is my favorite podcast. I'm glad that I'm learning so much while I'm still young. I listen every morning at 5 a.m. while I lift weights and run. I've basically taught myself from the ground up because I had to beat brain cancer a few years ago, but I just graduated high school a few weeks ago. I've found the episodes on morning and evening routines are my favorites, and now I wake so early so I can work on everything that is important to me.

[dodalton]

This is one of the best yet, Mel. Made me reflect on how I was finally able to quit smoking. Every failed attempt prior, I was focused on missing the cigarette in the morning or when I felt stressed, or how bad they were for my health (fear), etc. When I finally quit for good, my go to thoughts were: I love that mouth doesn't taste like cigarettes when I wake up in the morning. As of today, I've saved this much money. My hands smell like my new lotion and not like smoke. Etc. All reward, no fear. It's been 12 years now so I'm officially a non-smoker.

[johnwellss]

This is a great Video. This brings back painful memories which i have been enduring. My relationship of 5 years ended 3 months ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her.

[kimberlyorlando]

Synopsis...3 Things To Motivate Self and Others...
*Social incentives (highlight success, positive NOT negative, model good behavior)
*Immediate rewards (reward NOW for future benefits..." loved..."thank you for asking")
*Progress monitering (highlight progress NOT setbacks..."joy comes from progress")

Great Show Mel! Love you!

(please tell your hubby, not one 'f-bomb' 😉)

[bertalippert]

47:33 This is key. You can't delegate motivation. You can help elicit the person's own reasons for wanting to change and this will naturally increase their motivation to act. Autonomy (agency) is so important. Self-efficacy is also necessary. Those two things always accompany change. Dr. Tali Sharot is such a leader in this field. Great episode!

[feliciaboka]

Indeed, it's easier to change our behavior when we change our environment
removing the TV and moving to another country was a huge one for us;
having books around the home for us and kids to read,
enrolling in activities, like jiu jitsu helped us connect more as a family and also have people in our lives that are active, and compete, and strive to get better
I think the more we put ourselves in environments, the easier it is to incorporate, and change our behavior

[sroy]

Great episode as usual! I always appreciate when Mel repeats because a lot of times I don't always catch everything the guest says or I may not understand it fully but once Mel repeats/ reiterates it clicks and I don't have to keep rewinding 😅🎉❤

[elenagvobornik]

Good morning Mel, I been feeling really down lately, I been working hard and going to school, and I’m very exhausted,
I need to hear this show.
Thank you ❤

[kathleenmartin]

This is the same theory behind training animals. Giving rewards for good behavior works better than punishment for bad behavior. Positive reinforcement is more motivating.

[PureHealth_com]

Looking forward to the doctor's video, it has very useful information. Wishing everyone who reads this comment always be safe and lucky🤭🤭🤭🤭

[danellaswansonmunoz]

I love you too, Mel! Thank you for everything you share to inspire me and others!
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

[freshlimejuice]

Mel is such a Rockstar, she's been doing this career to help others for decades and is just as passionate and invigorated about learning and making our lives better as when she first started!

[rainbowtravelingyogi]

As someone who has been hit by a giant truck while cycling, it’s imperative that people wear helmets… seriously. It saved my life. Also, the hand washing scenario, if they put natural organic hand wash in places that didn’t kill your own good bacteria and dry out your hands, I’m sure more people would. I bring my own✨

[IgorDkn]

55:16 - I hope we could hear that part as well, because the interview ended without giving us the other "way". Great time, thank you!

[mrsrich]

This was SO GOOD!!! It actually reassured my way of thinking...about myself & my loved ones. I will make it a habit of using positive reinforcement esp with my Husband & Sun.

[kirstenbrogan]

Fear certainly motivated many people to behave differently during covid...

[OpentoEvidence]

My desire to change others because the effects (long term health consequences) ultimately negatively impacts our lives. The expectation is you'll be there to take on the consequences for them. So yes telling someone to stop watching tv is controlling but when it comes to other behaviours that have long term consequences - these are less about controlling and more about the negative effect on you.

[lesleynorris]

This really made me think about some of my approaches to creating change in others and my own life.

[malindateal]

I always love waking up in the morning to Mel podcast.❤

[jacqw]

boy did this video "hit the spot" of my putting stave in the ground/moving myself to practice "curing" of procrastination. it is a great fight for me bcs i am with mitochondrial deficient. 'getting help to beat that out of my life-thank you!!