How Does A Narcissist Love?

Love is much more than having romantic feelings for another person. It includes traits like respect, honor, decency, and goodness. It also leads to reliability, kindness, self-care, and conscientiousness. Dr. Les Carter describes how narcissists are so committed to their own entitlement and superiority, that they prove incapable of genuine love. It is essential to understand how narcissists will push false forms of "love" into relationships so you can remain on the path of the better way.

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Dr. Les Carter is a best selling author and therapist who has semi-retired to Waco, TX. In the past 40+ years he has conducted more than 65,000 counseling sessions and many workshops and seminars. He specializes in anger management and narcissistic personality disorder.

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[TC-gxqn]

Has anyone else experienced that a narcissistic partner is not interested in doing anything with you that you enjoy doing, playing board games for example, but they expect you to do the things they enjoy?

[JohnSmith-wons]

If they say I love you, it means I love what you just did for me.

[Nancy-ywrr]

A narcissist's love is conditional and often weaponized. If it ever feels good it's very short-lived.

[rebekahransom]

"I love the way you let me destroy you. I love your ignorance to my evil motives. I love what I take from you."

[sylviaford]

Everything you say is true. To a narcissist, love equals conditional.

[evetko]

I didn't recognize what I saw when I looked the narcissist in the eyes, but there was this vacancy in them, a deadness, no depth, no genuine warmth, like nobody was home and now I know what that means.

[Magus_Union]

What's most painful is when both parents are narcissists and you live without the experience of healthy maternal or paternal bonds thru life.

[montereyspike]

"You simply cannot draw out of a person that which is not inside of them already". Wow! Wow!! Wow!!! Thank you so much Dr. C!

[cheri]

The narcissists don't love. Remember that. Wishing for love from them never happens. ❤️Stay Healthy Team.

[adognamedboo]

Conditional love as opposed to Unconditional love.
Their love means control, they love to control.

[AuthenticCLFord]

I told him, "You're not the only person in this relationship. You can't have one without another person being involved." He looked surprised, then laughed. Silly me hadn't understood that it wasn't actually a relationship.

[mday]

Love doesn't use people for your gain.
Love doesn't have to have power or control over another person.
Love doesn't disrespect people.
Love doesn't minimize someone's feelings or thoughts.
Love doesn't say, "what can you give or do for me."
Love doesn't take, but gives.
Love doesn't have conditions.
Love is patient.
Love is kind.
Love doesn't sabotage you.
Love doesn't judge you.
Love doesn't hold you in discontented.
Love isn't one sided.

The minute someone uses, abuses, or even disrespect you they are showing you how they really feel about you.
Thank you Dr. C.

[shannonsauter]

I have felt for (15) years that my husband’s love is 100% conditional. Now it makes sense to me. It’s never been love. It’s been about his satisfaction with my behavior. I’ve felt emptiness for years yet kept hoping he would someday love me for me. Now I realize it will never happen. I feel shattered

[nolaclarke]

What I understand is that these people are transactional in nature.

[bpassionfashion]

Narcissist’s version of love is not the same as YOUR version of love ; They are …

1- Self Absorbed individuals
2- Attitude of deserving bc they idealize themselves and now you must confirm that
3- Takers/ users that don’t give freely ( everything is a transaction/ an exchange )
4- They expect to be in an “unsustainable feel good” state of being
5- They need to be idealized
6- They are highly codependent & they are looking at you to complete them
7- Possessiveness, Jealously- You exist for “my gain.” I have to be your no.1 - Have an Ownership mentality !
8- Keep score - have a grading system - Highly conditional
9- Agenda driven
10- Not interested in your freedom and individuality
11- Data gatherers for the purpose of using information against you - not bc they are authentically interested in getting to know you
12- No empathy - it’s all about the supply they can get to keep themselves feeling alive

Conclusion : Real Love is a foreign concept to the narcissist- Thank you Dr.Carl

[zareththealchemist]

You just know that Dr Carter is a true empath - see how he cares about his dog, and makes sure that he is comfy. They share a true love. See how his buddy is listening to every word? He should get his own diploma on the wall. That dog knows more about psychology than most people. ❤

[Greenwings]

They can never laugh at themselves, and they don't laugh "with" you when you do laugh at yourself, so don't share. Save it for great people.

[spinelli]

"Self- impressed"
what a great description

[sage]

This is such a hook - when they say "But I LOVE you!" Which, roughly translated seems to mean "Feel so obligated that you will do as I say, even if it's to your detriment." When they say this I am thinking "There's something I am unaware of!" Their love always ironic, always a puzzle, in a way that real love isn't.

[akgstone]

A narcissist doesn't love his/her partner. They simply use them to supply what their needs are. If the narcissist wants attention than he will usually try to love bomb over the top, which means he's in way over his head and if the girl receiving the love bombs actually falls for it, she will soon find out what she has got herself into.