Do narcissists LOVE you, or are they OBSESSED with you?

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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.

THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.

[youngblood]

Narcissists aren't loyal to you. They are loyal to their need of you. Once their need changes, so does their loyalty.

[jcd]

I think that the narcissist truly believes that they love you but it is not love. It is about control, ownership and obsession.

[smoothstonesproject]

Unfortunately, a narcissist, covert narcissist or a covert religious narcissist don’t have the capacity to love you. What I found out is to don’t never lose yourself trying to find someone who can’t be found.

[sushmayen]

Their love is a burden we have to carry like a trauma

[licmir]

Once you know the narcissist’s tricks, it’s painfully clear on how to spot them. The problem is that 99.9% who were abused narcissists only learn that after the abuse.

[NarcSurvivor]

I don’t believe that narcissists can love anything. Because they don’t love themselves, so they have no love to give. Which is why they’re so negative and pessimistic. In any interaction with them you will feel drained. Because all they can do is take from you.

[kynathomas]

It makes me so uncomfortable when someone starts texting me "Good morning " everyday. It feels so fake to me.

[cindyrhodes]

Mine didn't love me. They just wanted to "own" me, subject me to their personal judgments, brag and garner my attention and adoration, and OWN my TIME! Thank you, Dr. Ramani!

[erinward]

Narcissists do whatever it takes to get whatever they want. Count on being sold short while they manipulate you into believing they love you.

[carmenm.]

A relationship with a narcissist can be compared to a parasite relative to a host. The parasite is chronically dependent on a host but shouldn’t be mistaken as love.

[Sara]

When a grown ass man acts like a child and wants to see me every minute of every day, wants to drive by just to give me a kiss, wants to text and talk day and night, and literally says he's getting addicted to me, well, there's only one explanation: Obsession. You are right, Dr. Ramani, it felt so good as it was happening, but made me uncomfortable too. "Love is quiet". ❤

[KaleidoscopeDreams]

Interesting to understand how this "being seen and heard" as an adult, while being the focus of obsession by a narcissist, actually reawakens the core wound implanted by your narcissistic caregivers, who then, in a way, keep the "legacy" going, since you never felt what it was like to be loved. That's why it's so hard to break the trauma bonding, to reprogram yourself, to leave.

[mjblazy]

No, I don’t think he loved me. I think he thought I was an obsession. I think I was an object to conquer kind of like a puppet you put up on the shelf and when he is finished with you, he’d put me back but when I need you the expectation is that I can come and get you when I want you.

[clogs]

That’s exactly how abusers see their victim-to-be: a wonderful and perfect woman (or man, as it may be) who will fulfil all their secret dreams and desires unlike all those previous [deleted expletives]. Yes, abusers future-fake themselves.
The point where their idol doesn’t meet their expectations is where the problems start.

[LoneStarLady-]

At 6:00 “love does not require endless gratitude, validation, and appreciation” really struck home. My therapist has helped me realize that my husband’s behavior at home and his multiple affairs are all indicative of his ‘validation addiction’. Understanding that wasn’t love for me has been difficult, especially at a heart level.

[julesvis]

I think they obsess only as a part of their
agenda/ life. Its never about 'you'
They will use you as a board for them to launch themselves. They will use you period . And loyalty ? Forget it. It took me best part of 12 yrs to find out. I don't watch you alot now as I'm out of the trauma of the Narc. But I must say I find that your information and your delivery is the BEST on this subject on here. Best wishes to you thank you for being there for us.

[tiredofjimjordan]

It's taken me a minute since I watched this to find this quote. A Dr. a long time ago, she told me, " All the love goes to them, they use you to regulate themselves. They only love you for what you give them, what you represent."

[Cleomauser]

No there is no love without empathy. listening to your "gut" feelings helps

[avelinomontillano]

1 Corinthians 13:4-8

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.

[BoudicasRevenge]

I'm currently in a narcissistic relationship and working on an exit plan. He has told me on multiple occasions that all he thinks about is me. The overuse of compliments and flattering, the gifts, the texts. It's exhausting. It seems so obvious now.