Losing Friends From Narcissistic Abuse

Narcissistic abuse is an undeniable crisis. Discover Healing, Empowerment, and Authentic Living...

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The Royal We has helped Millions to escape the grip of narcissistic abuse. Here’s a deeper look into what narcissistic abuse looks like and steps to heal from it:

Narcissistic abuse looks like:

Lack of Empathy: Narcissists often show little to no empathy for others, making it easy for them to manipulate and exploit. Narcissists use various tactics such as gaslighting, love bombing, and devaluation to control and dominate their victims.

Common Tactics Used in Narcissistic Abuse:

Gaslighting: Making the victim doubt their own reality and sanity.
Love Bombing: Showering the victim with excessive attention and affection to gain control.

Devaluation: Undermining the victim’s self-worth through criticism, belittling, and emotional neglect.

Isolation: Cutting the victim off from their support systems to increase dependency on the abuser.

Triangulation: Using others to create jealousy or competition, keeping the victim feeling insecure.
Healing from Narcissistic Abuse

How to begin healing from narcissistic abuse:
Understand that you have been enduring narcissistic abuse. This awareness is the first step toward healing.

Get Help:

Establish No Contact or Low Contact:

Limit or completely cut off communication with the narcissistic abuser. This helps you gain emotional distance and begin your healing journey.
Rebuild Your Self-Esteem:

Engage in activities that boost your confidence and self-worth. Surround yourself with supportive, positive people who value and respect you.
Educate Yourself:

Learn about narcissistic abuse and its effects. Knowledge is empowering and can help you recognize patterns and avoid future toxic relationships.
Practice Self-Care:

Prioritize your physical, emotional, and mental well-being. Regular exercise, a healthy diet, adequate sleep, and mindfulness practices can all contribute to your recovery.
Set Boundaries:

Develop and maintain healthy boundaries in all your relationships.

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[sleeperno]

If you keep letting a neighbor drink your water from your canteen, you and your family will go thirsty while the neighbor and his family splash around enjoying the freedom that you provided. The water represents time, you are only given a certain ration of time each day. If you loan your time to someone who never reciprocates, you are being robbed.

[zsuzso]

Yes, I lost all my 'friends' during the past 7 years, before I met my ex I was the one always listening to their problems, giving a shoulder to cry on, or just being there whenever they needed so. And suddenly, when I was the one who needed support, needed to share with someone what was happening to me, every one of them disappeared. It was also difficult to deal with, because I was not only struggling with the abuse that came from my ex, but with this betrayal. But the conclusion was the same for me too, they were not real friends, and it was better to finish with that abuse, too, it was another, parallel lesson about setting boundaries.

[nelsonextremo]

This is what I am suffering these days, I ran out of friends!

[melissam.a.]

I found out that some friends just don't find you entertaining enough anymore when your life is becoming more peaceful and balanced, they don't want to share or talk about more edifying subjects, deep talks or pleasant interests, they were in your life for the excitement of the drama, the ups and downs, like if they were watching a mexican soap opera. Oh well...I am not really sorry that I don't provide them with it anymore, peace is so precious to me.

[philu]

Man, for years I've blamed myself when my best friend took off and never explained why... I thought maybe it was my own toxicity because it was a challenging time in my life but now I realize it's just that simple. He was there for what he could benefit more for himself...

[guppywibble]

I was at my loneliest when I was surrounded by "friends". The Narc and her flying monkey's. It took me a long time to see it and when I did. The penny dropped. I feel free of obligation to constantly people please and happier being my own best friend. "Loneliness, is a crowded room"-Roxy Music, Dance Away.

[jameswashnis]

heres a great saying kevin IF YOU CANT APPRECIATE MY PRESENCE THEN YOU JUST DESERVE MY ABSENCE

[leonablack]

I was talking with my friend about it, that I had found a good therapist for cptsd brought on by the narcissistic relationship and she said why cant you just forget about it, totally dismissed my feelings, no support at all . That was a major trigger for me .if I cant talk what's the point, no friendship there .looking at it now I was just dancing to her tune, if I cant be my authentic self there is no point .

[SixIsSickOG]

3 YEARS of loosing people when I srarted setting boundaries

[DJH]

Oh wow. This is so spot on. Once I got educated and stopped “giving” all I had to the ex he is gone without even trying to give a thing. Then since I was spent from 30 years of that and my oldest son died I saw how very cold and cruel and ungiving my whole family was. They were just like my ex. I quit contacting them and heard nothing from them. Even my own mother whom I had to kiss up to all my life just to keep a half baked relationship with. I hear nothing from any of them. I moved to another county and live my life with my other son. No more of these one way street relationships. I pray for better decent people to come into my life.

[ethanplacella]

Recently I believe God is showing me how to operate from a place of strength and encouragement by uprooting toxic people in my life. Funny how when I chose to no longer text/call certain people to see if they’d reach out to me…. Still haven’t heard from them. I don’t react out of bitterness anymore to these people. Instead it’s my purpose that’s keeping me on track and able to more willingly let them go. If they can’t bother with me then I have no reason to feel guilty walking away.

[roselocastro]

Thanks Kevin you got me in tears your so right..I lost two friends of 40 yrs in two years never getting back always giving being the yes person.

[politicjunkee]

Great words. I’m living this now. The upside is, I’ve never really been codependent. People pleaser yes, but the older I get, the more I like my alone time.

[ingridyau]

If they don't excuse themselves, evict them.

[lesliehasenkampf]

Amen! ❤️🙏🏽Thank you for your wisdom, Kevin. “Pruning those branches” has turned out to be one of the best things that could’ve happened. Not only have the shallow, fraudulent relationships fallen away, but all the new ones are strong, healthy, and growing. Not missing the “dead sticks” at all!

[v.j.morrison]

Searching YT for why 4 close friendships ended this past year, I found your podcast first! Thank you! I was a good friend always listening to 4 friend’s problems (some times two hours on the phone) but when I’d suggest ideas to fix their problems, they’d lash out at me. So they really didn’t want any advice. They just wanted someone to dump on. The friendships ended with each one verbally exploding on me in very unstable bizarre ways. Watching your podcast today enlightened me to realize that God was pruning me and getting rid of dead weight. I also feel he had other plans for me to draw me closer to him. It feels like we’re living in Matthew 24. Many others of faith in God on YT are also feeling the separation from toxic family and friends. Thank you for your professional perspective on narcissistic behavior. The only one I can really count on now is God! God Bless You Young Man! I’m 71 yrs old! 🌸🙏

[sabineschwarz]

Great video! The sad truth. There might be a time of loneliness before new friends cross your way. Sometime we do not have friends.

[abrahanromero]

This message hits me so hard on many levels. I am an Empath that has been very, very giving throughout the years to my Family. I am a Finished Carpenter/Designer and have built many things for many family members for free or next to nothing, but as of the last few yrs, I have finally realized that I have allowed myself to be taken advantage of by my own family. Last year I worked on something for an Uncle and realized he’s being a little too advantageous and I had to call him out on it. Make a long story short, not only has he “disappeared”, but other family members have stopped calling me asking for “favors” since the Incident……I’m assuming word got around that I finally grew a backbone and started to stick up for myself. Like Kevin said, they never hung out with us because they really like us but because what we bring to the table and what they can get away with using us Empaths

[jameswashnis]

great video kevin its all so true...my mother called them fair weather friends...only around when things are right for them

[revivedlady]

Very true Kevin. No one is calling or texting. Life is peaceful. I did visit a friend 1 year ago. Drove 600 miles. Made good time getting there only to drive back and fourth for an hour searching for a road I was supposed to turn on. Phone signal was lost. The road was like a 7 to turn on from highway. I could not see the road continued. She could have driven to the end of road meeting me but Was glad when I met someone on the highway who told me to follow them so they could show me I had to keep driving then turn again. Once there, this friend met me at the door. Kevin, first words from her mouth was, I did not clean my house just because you were coming. I sincerely thought she must not have cared if I got there or not since I drove back and fourth for one hour! The plan had been to stay a week. Ha! I visited 36 hours and left! She had visited my home 6 times during the years. I always made plans to make sure she enjoyed her trip taking her on the Queen Boat for dinner. Taking her to Elvis Presley home. Taking her to the Pink Palace. To the Zoo. All sorts of different places each time. Thank goodness I carried snacks along. Oh, she liked her gift I brought her. Won't happen again. I was finished before walking out the door to leave at 7:00 am.