7 Signs You are Extremely Lonely, Even If You Don't Feel Like It

Are you lonely? Psychology defines loneliness as “a distressing feeling that accompanies the perception that one’s socio-emotional needs are not being met by the quality of one’s inter- and intrapersonal relationships”. Numerous studies show that chronic loneliness can have a number of detrimental effects on our mental health, life satisfaction, and overall well-being. Fortunately, recognizing loneliness is the first step toward overcoming these feelings and moving forward to a more fulfilling life.

Writer: Chloe Avenasa
Editor: Caitlin McColl
Script Manager: Kelly Soong
Animator: Angela Yena Kim
YouTube Manager: Cindy Cheong

References:

De Choudhury, M., Gamon, M., Counts, S., & Horvitz, E. (2013, June). Predicting depression via social media. In Seventh international AAAI conference on weblogs and social media.
Hawkley, L. C., & Cacioppo, J. T. (2010). Loneliness matters: A theoretical and empirical review of consequences and mechanisms. Annals of behavioral medicine, 40(2), 218-227.
Leary, M. R. (1990). Responses to social exclusion: Social anxiety, jealousy, loneliness, depression, and low self-esteem. Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology, 9(2), 221.
Pieters, R. (2013). Bidirectional dynamics of materialism and loneliness: Not just a vicious cycle. Journal of Consumer Research, 40(4), 615-631.
Preece, D. A., Goldenberg, A., Becerra, R., Boyes, M., Hasking, P., & Gross, J. J. (2021). Loneliness and emotion regulation. Personality and Individual Differences, 180, 110974.
White, T. R. (2013). Digital social media detox (DSMD): Responding to a culture of interconnectivity. In Social media and the new academic environment: Pedagogical challenges (pp. 414-430). IGI Global.

[jh]

I will admit, some days it feels like there’s no one out there for me to love, I feel so lonely it hurts. Being at work helps, having my co-workers, but I do wish I had that special someone in my life.

[Aan]

Timestamps
1). Materialism 1:06
2). Social media addiction 1:39
3). Envy 2:13
4). Eating/Weight/Sleeping problems 2:47
5). Constant boredom and restlessness 3:22
6). Out of control emotions 3:59
7). Inability to be alone with yourself 4:32

Hopefully this helps you.

[JessBlueJazzberry]

Solitude is one thing, loneliness is another.

Solitude is where you're alone, by yourself, enjoying your own personal time.

Loneliness is being denied positive interaction. It doesn't matter if you're in a room full of people, you can still feel lonely if they treat you like you're invisible or insignificant.

[sarahj]

I think I always low key feel lonely, but I’m not extremely lonely anymore. I think feeling misunderstood is probably the loneliest feeling in the world:(

[maddmira]

I was actually a lot more lonely when I was surrounded by people who were supposed to love me that didn’t treat me well or understand me. Now that I’m an adult it’s so isolating but I feel more empty than lonely.

[nachyos]

Isn’t it weird how when you feel so sad or lonely that you can feel it in your chest and stomach? Just me?

[Imari]

Need this. Prolonged loneliness can numb a person’s emotion too. I sometimes use work or study as an excuse to distract myself. Thank you for this video, everyone. Stay safe and take care.

[priyasindhu]

1) Socio emotional Needs
2) Materialism
3) Envy
4) Eating/ weight/ sleeping problems
5) constant boredom and restlessness
6) Out-of-control emotions
7) inability to be alone with yourself

Thank you.

[khalilahd.]

I think this is a feeling we can all relate to at least once in life but it’s nice to know that it comes and goes and you’re not the only one experiencing this feeling ❤

[KanbeiOda]

-Materialism
Yes, but less now

-Social media addiction
Yes, but not a lot

-Eating/weight/sleeping problems
Yes, sleeping specially

-Constant Boredom and restlessness
Yes, absolutely

-Out of control emotions
Exactly like is described in the video

-Inability to be alone with yourself
Yes yes yes. I spend time trying to be with people who make me feel like i don't fit in sometimes

I really feel lonely and i hate it 😔

[ISIDORO.]

Very relatable also anyone else raw dogging there loneliness and depression no meds no therapy no help just sheer willpower to not give up 🖐

[kenrickbautista]

No matter where I go, I always feel lonely. Been lonely for 26 years of my life. But yeah, I can relate to some of these signs.

[amyli]

This video honestly has made me realize that nearly half of my 20's was spent like this....I'm pretty shy, introverted and have a tendency to overthink things which makes socializing and putting myself out there harder than it needs to be, so yeah... loneliness now feels different as opposed to a few years ago. It usually comes from the withdrawal of my own need for solitude, feeling bored, dissatisfied with life or misunderstood in some way.

[Kialis]

With the exception of materialism, as I don't much care for having things or excess money, I went through all of these last year. Every single day, I felt less and less at peace and had more loneliness seeping in. I was called toxic and told that I was "Ruining the night for everyone" because of how I reacted to the feeling. I lost friends due to it, but looking back now with the help of these videos, I realise that those people weren't good for me. Nor was I good for them. I don't think I'm "happy" but I also feel way better than I did then, and it's partly due to no longer being around them, as well as the Cognitive Behaviour Therapy I went through to get me out of my depression.

While not every option is free, there are people willing and qualified to help a single call away, and even online services to set you up with them. Don't hesitate to use them.

[vesselling]

All of these are direct parallels to myself, but seeing all the people in the comments reminds me that we're not alone in feeling alone, and you don't have to feel lonely by your lonesome.

[kateau]

I'm lonely but the fact is that I'm happy and peaceful knowing you don't have to be around toxic, manipulative, rude people etc <3 and knowing to be yourself is always important sending hugs to everyone whos feeling lonely lately

[kokaionichan]

1:04 materialism
1:39 social media addiction
2:51 eating weight sleep problems
3:26 constant boredom/ restlessness
3:59 out of control emotions
4:29 inability to be alone with yourself
thank me later!
😁😁😁😁

[boopdoop]

It seems to me that our society now is the loneliest it’s ever been, so if you feel lonely it’s okay you aren’t weird or unlovable at all, so so many people feel the same way! It isn’t hopeless either, keep learning and trying I promise you are absolutely lovable. 💕

[spd]

I have experienced a few, but those do intersect with phases of depression and grief. As I meantioned in a few comments, my fiancee passed away in 2016. I feel the extreme loneliness was quite a part of those sad feelings. They still have left their scar on me and there are times I still experience them. Achievements in life, meeting celebrities and opportunities for a better life just appearing out of nowhere help in this though. Now the feelings of loneliness and even a subtle sign of envy, grief or depression appear for a very brief time, but I easily remember how much I have achieved and look at my pictures with some of my country's greatest celebrities. And that's how I realize there is no reason to give any grim thoughts a free will, because I have every reason to be happy and motivated to improve.

[Pinky-rpbl]

From my experience, I believe that over a period of time, constantly being lonely is not just how you feel, it’s what you have become.