Why Trauma From Childhood Causes Loneliness

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CPTSD is NOT an identity. It's an injury to the nervous system, and to the ability to connect with other people. In this excerpt from my new 30-day course, CONNECTION BOOTCAMP, I explain why loneliness and disconnection are SO common in adults who went through abuse and neglect as children, and what to do to HEAL.
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[chrishorbatt]

When I'm talked into going to dinner with others or out somewhere in a group, the feeling of not belonging is so intense it sets off a depressive episode that could last a week or more, sometimes going as far as suicidal thoughts.

[bigneon_glitter]

I've spent most of my adult life alone in a room. Never enjoyed it. When I was younger, I thought I was just a "shy introvert" (and that's how I was viewed by family). As I grew older, I understood that neither was true - my life had simply become about managing past trauma & shielding myself from continued trauma. Still is, still dreaming of & working toward a life outside the box - and one that's truly my own.

[noturningback]

Childhood PTSD gave a sincere love for solitude. I'm currently 67, a retired veteran with pensions, and recently put my things in storage and took off on a car camping expedition, and I'm happy and snug as a bug.

[RoadRunnergarage]

Sometimes you are better off alone than being in a bad relationship...

[talia]

I have been isolating myself all of my life. Now after a lifetime of abusé, I am too afraid of being hurt. I wish I could be with others, but I'd rather die alone than have flashbacks. I just want peace and quiet. I am so fragile. I don't know what to do.

[djgospela]

its hard trusting people when one of the first people in your life chronically manipulated and betrayed you. it's something u don't forget or just "move on". it's a constant effort trying to heal

[Bustergf]

There should be psychological testing for potential parents. Some other wise good people ( to be fair?)are incapable of raising children with out extreme trauma.

[ms.bornagain]

I became a expert at running from people and divorcing them in my heart.

[michaelknapp]

Im 54 years old I have childhood PTSD and I’ve always felt different from other people. I’ve been alone my entire life even though I’ve been around other people. It’s been a lifetime of trying to find where I fit in this crazy world that doesn’t have a lot of patience for people who are different. What a tough journey my life has become!!

[davidskues]

As much as I craved connection with other people, it was only after practicing connecting with myself in healthy compassion, empathy, trust, love and respect as my own best friend that healthy connections with others began to happen. I am still a work in progress, yet with hope now.

[chuckboy]

My mom is a narcissist who constantly picked at my dad. She herself was abused as a child. My dad is on the spectrum and led a double life of strict Christianity and screaming/cursing matches with my mom. I was under so much stress as a little kid and for my entire life. I remember every second of every day being on edge. I remember when my father would drive up to our house we would run from the living room back into our rooms and hide. We normalized it after a while but the effects of having parents who genuinely hated each other and had huge fights regularly kept my nervous system in high alert mode. With huge stressful adrenaline dumps being the norm and my brain being basically fried over and over again from the stress, I found it hard to ever truly calm down. My mom stayed in her room a lot. She would make meals and make sure we had clean clothes. But emotionally, she was hurting too. I can't blame her or my father for who they are. I just need to understand. I need THEM to understand. I don't know what's going on with me. But I want to feel loved. I just can't love myself.

[Newmoney]

"What we most want to find in our lives will be found in the places where we least want to look." Carl Jung

[lynns]

I am in my 60's and I am completely alone, except I have my exceptional doggie. I continue to live with tight nerves and it's so damn sad that I struggle. I know I am not the victim and it's up to me to move forward. Your advice has helped me immensely. Thank you.

[mercurymetal]

To me the worst thing is being alone. Having someone to talk to, share with is more healing than medications. ❤️

[kikimii]

People being in love etc is like a special talent for me, everyone else has it except me, i always wonder: "how do people manage to be loved, what does one have to do to be loved?" I still don't have an answer for that question, i just don't know what to do.

[RoadRunnergarage]

The molestation and verbal abuse I have suffered did as much or more damage to my brain than the head injury I sustained in a bad auto accident in 1997....

[jimsmith]

My life at home was a living hell. Now, in my 60s, I realize how this destroyed any chance I had of feeling worthy of love or self-love. I carry around little to zero self-esteem and honestly don't know how to "talk" with people. As a result, I am pegged as strange or different. I want to be comfortable with others, but in practice find it difficult to nearly impossible. I will be glad when this life is finally over with. I'm tired of it. Tired of feeling out of place and out of step with everyone else. Happiness is foreign to me. Thank you mummy and daddy. You should be proud of yourselves.

[MissyQ]

I was often embarrassed to bring a school friend to my house. I didn't know why they only stayed in my life for a while. I could not maintain a solid friendship for long. I always seemed to let them drift away. I am 70 years old now, and I want to hang on to my new friend. She has tolerated what I now know is my brain disregulatuon. The description of emotions taking over reasoning power is me. Now I understand. I do need to help myself and stop procrastinating. I am happy to have found you, and I must learn from you. Thank you.

[FirehorseG]

I've realised I just can't maintain any relationships. Family, friends, romantic... I've kept toxic people around me for too long in unhealthy situations, finally snapping and cutting off from them. Ive cut off from lovely friends over the years through to disregulation and not understanding why I did this, the hurt was real. I ricocheted between being a workaholic and to being unemployed with feeling I don't have a personality. I've finally faced my issues and been diagnosed with CPTSD. Sigh.... 55 Yr old and pretty alone. Disregulation constantly, it's overwhelming and I'm just too tired and disheartened.

[ginabiasetti]

Traumatic events from childhood to adulthood has destroyed my life