'I Can’t Get Over My Ex...Please Help Me Move On!”

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[krishna]

Stop pedestalizing the person, look at the situation objectively for what it is, follow strict no-contact, and invest heavily in your overall growth. This, too, shall pass.

[buildingjoy]

What helps the most is knowing other people go through this also.

[wangcheng]

Interesting video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her..

[NakedTruthbyDrMelanie]

17:30... if we can just connect the dots and see that person not as a"negative trigger" but as the one you can (secretly) thank for "triggering" your growth, it's actually liberating. You are empowered into the higher self-worth you deserve. 💗

[bexsolo]

I was addicted to alcohol for many years, which oddly seems very relevant to this conversation. Many times I asked, why me? Why did this happen to me? But now, 9 yrs later, I am so thankful. Those years of being a slave to a substance (somewhat like being a slave to your feelings for an ex) taught me unparalleled empathy for others. I care so much for the well-being of others now, I'm so much less judgemental and so much more accepting and loving. I wouldn't change any of it. I actually really really like who I am, I like that I have a new way to connect with others❤

[Oohthehumanity]

Loved Audrey's point about the physical & even neurological aspects of love and breakups - that our body has 'recorded' the relationship and it's part of our brain's stimuli-emotion experience. Those first days of knee-jerk 'Oh, I can't wait to tell them..' and then UGH..that sick feeling or even sensation of physical pain.

Thinking back to early days after a breakup, it felt like my brain's wiring & associations with him was like a knotted up wad of Christmas lights in my head. ALL the wires and bulbs are so tightly intertwined and it feels like untangling is impossible. But slowly, slowly....and relief does come. Matthew would say 'growth'.. ;)

[the.toxic.phoenix]

I hate the whole "if you weren't hurt by this person you wouldn't have gone through this excellent growth" - growth can happen in loving supportive relationships. Yes, look at the positive if you've been through crap, but don't attribute the good things to the crap things. We shouldn't have to go through the hurt.

[elenakraykova]

I like listening to Matt and some of the things he says make a lot of sense. Still, they make sense mostly for 20-somethings getting over a breakup. How can you block your ex when you need to co-parent? When they have a new family and your kids need to fit in somehow? All the logistics? You cannot block this person for at least 18 years, if you want your kids to have their other parent. You have to be civil with the person who has hurt you the most, for 18 years. There is no forgetting. No moving on. It's in your face every day. Blocking someone on the internet is easy. Blocking them from your life when you need to communicate effectively with them every single day is not.

[julitaserrano]

Or, he shows up in your dream, and that disturbs your day, and bothers you as to why he was there when you're not doing too bad.

[msl]

Its been almost 4 months. I can’t stop thinking about this person on a daily basis, it feels overwhelming, exhausting and repetitive. The gut dropping feeling just won’t go

[christinamarti]

Clementine story was precious Audrey is sweet and so on point

[anneliesewright]

I dove deeper into self-development & blossomed as a result of this pain. I have a new standard now to never settle again for less dignity & respect than I deserve. You're right! What's going to come from this is amazing, profound & beautiful. Thank you so much!

[iconoclastic-fantastic]

It's funny, I watched this to aid in fully letting go of my situationship. But what I needed to hear most was that quote from the boxing coach and that whole story...in addition to the "break up" (can you even call it a break up in a situationship? no matter-), literally every major area of my life has fallen apart dramatically and I feel like I'm trying to climb out of the deepest pit of hell every day. Hearing that quote & story literally made me cry and gave me some hope, so thank you

[carmeniagar]

years later i’m so sad 🤦🏻‍♀️😕i’m trying to change the story and let go but something somehow draws me back and i’m so annoyed with myself to the point of hating myself for checking on them

[talesfromtheroad]

OMGSH thank you! Audrey, it soothed my soul and made me exhale all blame when you explained the untangling of neuro pathways and how that's a process and a beautiful sign of our ability to bond. And Matthew, thanks for saying healing is not one and done or a binary...helps me release guilt and annoyance with myself when I have moments of missing him and our past life. What an awesome idea to change the name. I paused the video and changed it to a (maybe ridiculously long-winded) 'You deserve someone who wants you strongly, clearly, warmly, daily, forever. This person is no longer a romantic option.' 😂 My brain knows that, but you're right, my brain also still gets warm fuzzies at the shape of the letters of his name. I WILL integrate, I WILL move on. I've done it before and I can again 💪 But thanks for reminding me to be gentle. I might have slowed my own detachment process bc I saw my ex as friend in our friend group for over a year, regularly. A few months ago he asked to take space and have no contact for at least 6 months. I was grief stricken at first (bc it meant losing some interactions with the group and losing an activity with them I did regularly), but I'm adjusting and finding new ways to see our mutual friends, and realizing he's prob right and this will be good for me too. But darn it my brain goes haywire when someone disappears - it feels like a second rejection and I've re-set the clock a little on healing. I'm struggling bc I love his family too (lived with them) and it's hard to, say, not be invited to their Fourth of July party today. We didn't end angrily, he just didn't love me enough to move towards engagement, and it's a loss I'm working through. But this will be better and I will get there ❤ And as much as it hurts, grieving a life I lived with him, his family, and his friends, it means I'm capable of bonding and can do it again. (And just so no one feels too badly for me lol, I do have my own friend group and am seeing them today. 🎆) Love to all you brave strong people out there in this world trying to find your forever partners, and who need to start over (I'm almost 36) ❤ We will be okay and we will tell a story of our resilience decades hence

[kimmercieca]

Im kind of listening to the podcast but Im mostly watching and admiring the beautiful connection between you two. Absolutely gorgeous 🥰

[CatalinaFOIA]

Thank you! Please create more content like this 🙏I have an ex (1st love) of 27 yrs and I still have love for him. We are distant friends. At one point he wanted to meet up with me; yet I couldn't bring myself to see him because he wants much more from me. He broke my heart💔 back in 1997 and he says he has been heartbroken ever since. He says he keeps looking for me in other women and he can't find another me 😢 I live 6 hrs away and have ran into him twice for about 5 minutes. He is now a severe drug addict and that breaks my heart 💔 The first time I saw him I was so shocked that I could barely speak. I was so angry at myself that I didnt give him a hug, so when I saw him 18 months later that is the 1st thing I did. I wish I could be his friend, a real friend 😢 but I know he wants more and I don't want to hurt him. I've had a life partner for18 years and I'm not about to hurt him; he's the one I'm in love with. My life partner is aware of this situation, I don't hide anything from him. He was there when I hugged my ex. My ex looks like a walking skeleton😢 Thank you for this topic.

[neelfamilyfarm]

I love the back and forth with both of your personalities. Audrey is such a great addition, she always makes me laugh.

[susanlodzsun]

I'm having a hard time finding the positive in the pain.
I'm not sure anything amazing can come out of this for me.
Those words are comforting, but I don't feel realistic for me at this phase so early in the break up.

[sihr]

A month since I cut it off with my ex from 4 years ago. So proud of myself for finally doing so, and so disappointed at myself for letting it go on for so long and let it rob me of my peace of mind.