What to Say When Someone Raises Their Voice

[josedennisr.galuna]

I love the phrase " is this a conversation ? ".❤

[lindamiller]

You give good advice to people, different situations, different words- thank you! Bless you!

[Cindy-ltcm]

I like your suggestion. I’ve also had really good luck with calmly sharing my observation, “You are shouting at me.” I was surprised by how quickly that alone has stopped the escalation and allowed us to continue.

[christinaduncan]

I love this man!!! Truly, I am the kindest person I know and yet recently someone yelled at me completely out of the blue as if I were a bag of dirt. Oh, how I wish I had heard this first. But if something like it ever happens again, I'll be prepared. Thank you, Jefferson Fisher! -- a devoted follower!

[elinamiezite]

I just started to work for the government, and a week after I discovered Jefferson here, I got a lady who calls me like mad and just yells on a phone, her tactic is to ask me a question and just as I start to answer goes mental. I went Jefferson on her. I'm pretty golden having the knowledge I got here, helps me keep my integrity.

[athenahunter]

One of the best response I heard was by a little girl at kindergarten to a very loud and somewhat intimidating kindergarten boy, she said, "I can't hear you when you shout.' Silence descended.

[grantmiles]

You are a very stand up man. My respect for you.

[heatherholker]

I wish this man would run for President.

[mauraronda]

Omg. You just dropped out of heaven! Everything I needed to hear. God sent❤

[KellyLee-sikx]

I'm a master at the "inside" voice in situations of high tension. But nearly every time, the other person will try harder to get me to match their energy. You've got to be ready for that. You've got to be ready to get absolutely silent or walk away if that what it takes to stay calm. But, usually, they'll act like you're being unreasonable then calm on down anyway, get disgusted and walk away, or totally blow their top, at which time you walk away. Sometimes, the other person is too out of control or too proud to bring the level back down. But one of you walking away isn't an admission of fault, nor does it mean someone has won. It's a necessary and effective technique. You'll both be in a better place after you've calmed down and you can revisit the situation with agreed upon rules in place and working toward a goal of problem solving instead of blaming or whatever. (I literally cannot take in and understand what others are saying in loud angry voices. I go into defense posture and can only focus on the things I need to do to stay calm and remind myself that a loud verbal fight is not a threat.)

[jacquelineyork]

Lol. I'm the one who talks loud. People are always telling me I'm yelling when I'm only telling a story.
I'm going to have to play that mental gymnastics on myself before I even open my mouth!😂

[LaSpastica]

I read once that if your kids start throwing tantrums, you should speak softly to them. They’ll have to calm down to hear you. I used this on my kids and it worked great! They are 16 and 18 now, and they both have calm demeanors.

[tammykagan]

You are the best! Thank you for all if your helpful communication posts.

[Moonpie]

You are my morning rise and shine after prayer . Your advice is better than therapy . Thank you . God bless the parents that raised you !❤

[rogerbernard]

You are so good at this! I’ve learned so much listening to your presentations. Thank you.

[ambermoon]

I’m a soft talker and I remember when I’d be talking with my Grandpa RIP who had his eardrum blown by being too close to a cannon on a ship during WW2, I used to be asked to speak louder. No matter how loud I spoke, (I felt like I was yelling), he couldn’t hear me in his later years when he was going deaf in the other ear. The cool thing he did was learn to read lips so he could listen to most of what I said. And he blasted his 50’s & 60’s music so loud, like a teenager to feel the bass and rhythm. He was a very polite and respectful man.

[MeandMyself-ri]

You’re such a Blessing! So glad I stumbled across your channel

[cw]

This guy is very wise. Definitely he is. IQ top..

[gsanchez]

Your Awesome!!
Very grateful for your videos.

[ravoress]

Clever. I will try to remember this. Ive also found it helpful to maintain a normal calm voice whilst the other person yells. it just makes them look childish.