THIS Is the Avoidant’s Idea of A Perfect Relationship

Get personalized courses, live webinars & Q&As, and more for free for 7 days!

It’s time to transform your career, life & future with our Live Relationship Coaching Program!

👇Unlock your true potential and live authentically by enrolling in the "Discover, Embrace & Fulfill Your Personal Needs" course - Find fulfillment in relationships, align with your life's purpose, and create a vision that inspires you. Don't wait, start your journey now!👇

In today's video, Thais Gibson shares what the avoidant's idea of the perfect relationship is and how you can approach the potential triggers. Watch now to learn just what the ideal relationship is for the dismissive avoidant attachment style as Thais provides useful tips and guidance.
To learn more, explore the transformative course, "Discover, Embrace & Fulfill Your Personal Needs", for powerful tools you can begin using immediately on your journey!

---

00:00:00 - Intro
00:01:29 - Sensitive to Criticism
00:03:15 - Triggered Around Feeling Unsafe
00:04:03 - Needs of an Avoidant
00:05:17 - Appreciations and Acknowledgement
00:06:33 - 7-Day Free Trial: Discover and Embrace Your Needs
00:07:01 - The Really Big Needs
00:07:47 - IAT Promo
00:08:40 - Conclusion

---

Follow Us for Daily Relationship Insights and Breakthroughs on Our Social Channels!

---

Subscribe to Our YouTube Channel for Your Daily Dose of Personal Growth and Relationship Transformations!

Hey there! I'm Thais Gibson, and this is the channel where I teach you how to transform your life.

I created the Personal Development School, an online learning platform that gives users the ability to create true and long-lasting change in their lives through personal development courses that are designed to give you a breakthrough in every area of your life, with a 99.7% satisfaction rate.

Our Youtube videos give you a glimpse into this in-depth course content. Much of what you'll learn here is based on your attachment style and how that affects the relationships you have with your family, friendships, and of course, your romantic relationships.

So what are you waiting for? This could be the start of your personal development journey. Subscribe to our channel and start watching!

#PersonalDevelopmentSchool #ThaisGibson #PDS #AttachmentStyles #AvoidantAttachment #AvoidantAttachmentStyle #DismissiveAvoidant #DismissiveAvoidantAttachment #DismissiveAvoidantCourse #DismissiveAvoidantNeeds #DismissiveAvoidantCoreWounds #DismissiveAvoidantTriggers #AssessingUnmetNeeds

[Tmlatyoutube]

Everyone wants acceptance, support, and understanding, but Avoidants make no effort to reciprocate.

[marinajones]

Being in a relationship with an avoidant is very hard work! Be prepared to be walking on eggshells forever. Having dated one, I can say first handedly you can never really relax. You have to be continuously watching your P's & Q's. Thats not a relationship- its a death sentence in my opinion constantly living in fear of upsetting them and then them running- thats not life . I loved my avoidant but I love myself more so decided to walk away. I'm sorry for the childhood trauma of which I'm a victim, too ( perhaps in a different way).The difference is I choose to heal so I didn't put innocent people through hell. My partner did not cause my trauma so why would I put them through so much pain. The answer is to go & heal before getting into relationships and ruining other people's lives & mental health.

[no-one-u-know]

"positive framing" is a good thing - but in order to take it to the degree some DAs need, it really seems like marketing-speak for "walking on eggshells" much of the time

[markb]

the perfect relationship for an avoidant is meet all their needs and forget about you needs

[IsabelSmith]

I would like more content focused on inner work for anxious side experience. Less on outside in perspective on DA/avoidant leaning.

I wanna know about Me I'm all about me lol
My healing 💖

[SK-nopp]

Avoidants may engineer romantic pseudo-relationships in their lives that enable them go a long time without having to deal with the realities of real daily intimacy, conflict resolution, and the dangerous feelings of dependency this can incur. This pattern only entrenches their habits and prevents them from learning vital relationship skills. You feel you’re in a “relationship” but in real life, they are not physically present tending to you in times of sickness, attending events by your side, or even doing mundane chores next to you. The illusion of intimacy is created without real life. Like 2 ships passing in the night

[maybug]

Heal, so you don't attract people like this. Period.

[KD-hybi]

So basically you meet their needs while they don’t meet yours

[LatinaLovePuppy]

Thank you not alot of people talk about this kind of person and how to deal with them..
Because yes i understand how people take things the wrong way and your not purposely trying to especially when you try and talk about how you feel to the person your with. And they take it the wrong way thinking that we think they are doing everything wrong when we dont think that.
Just trying to voice our side of the story.

[kevinarodgers]

The perfect relationship for avoidants is being alone

[sharnamajor]

Yeah but they often set a high standard for a relationship in the beginning... then when it's reciprocated, it freaks them out and they feel like they are being tied down. It's not fair

[Adakataba]

Great video, A month ago, my five-year relationship came to an end. I really can't stop thinking about the love of my life, who made the decision to leave me. I've done everything in my power to win him back, but it's all in vain, and I can't imagine my life with anyone else. I genuinely miss him and just can't stop thinking about him, even though I've tried my hardest to stop thinking about him. I'm not sure why I'm saying this here.

[SunshineAndSnowflakes]

I can see this. The DA who's been in my life for a while is so adorable when I compliment him. He smiles ear to ear and even gets a little shy which he is generally the opposite of. It's funny because we've kind of switched roles in the emotional vulnerability department. Now that I lean more secure, I'm just a little more stoic and in control of my emotions. I'm not closed off, just balanced. He feels more comfortable doing sweet little things and emotionally venting when he needs to.

If you're in a hurry to find a partner and want marriage and children, a DA likely won't be a great fit unless you're secure and patient. But if you're just flowing and don't have time to invest in a relationship that requires a lot of time spent together because you have a busy life outside of the two of you, it could work.

They can and do fall in love. It's just rare they find someone who accepts them without judgement and lets them move in their own DA way. If they feel accepted and the feelings are strong, they love very much. If you're used to or need more than they are capable of giving, that's where you might not be a long-term match.

[BeatriceMcCall-tckf]

GLORY!!!'m favoured, $140K every 3weeks! And I am retired i can now give back to the locals in my community and also support God's work and the church. God bless America 🇺🇸 ❤️

[rachelmel]

DA's Needs:
Acceptance--- except they'll judge and flaw find YOU and dismiss your pain, even when they cause it
Support--- except they struggle expressing empathy, don't want to work through issues, and feel like they don't have to or want to help you with emotional problems.
Understanding--- except they don't understand or consider why you're asking for simple basic needs and wants.
Harmony---- except they wreak havoc on the relationship, your mental health, emotional safety, and self esteem.

Maybe some shadow work is necessary before an AP or anyone else should be expected to provide these things while they fall completely apart due to the actions of their DA partner.

[no.]

Whats the difference between not making them feel defective vs praising them? Because my DA hates me saying anything positive.

[alittlezZzen]

Am I trippin or do avoidants expect exactly the things they refuse to do for us?

[kittykatsanchez]

Ok, but they're not that emotionally smart so if you say "hey id love if we could spend time together" they're not going to understand that they need to initiate spending time together more

[refreshingtwist]

So much emotional volatility in these comments towards DA's. I don't feel that aggression at all. If you take the time to learn why a DA forms, that should lead you to have compassion. At least it has for me. Most people did not have an ideal upbringing, and it takes a LOT of conscious work to change. Not everyone is going to have the capability or even the personality to want to take in this information. Doesn't mean they are deserving of so much hatred. Try to find a way to understand others and accept them as they are. We are all on our own journey. You cannot control anyone else, but you can control your own reactions and actions. If videos about DA's trigger you, I'd suggest you do a lot more work on yourself. And then more work on understanding others.

[SK-nopp]

There is a reason it is difficult for avoidants to fall in love. It's not possible to really fall in love while we're too busy protecting ourselves. Like turns into love through vulnerability - we start to deeply love people when we feel seen and heard by them - we feel able to show and be open about our true selves (at our best and worst). For avoidants this can involve admitting to our shame-filled avoidant desires, needs and pasts, and in doing so discovering they do not need to be a source for shame after all. Until we're willing to be vulnerable like this, we cannot truly love. When we instead become protective we ultimately become resentful because we don't feel seen, while simultaneously resenting attempts to see us we don't feel ready for, and partnerships become stale. Until we can rid ourselves of the shackles of shame to feel safe truly opening ourselves to another, the closest many avoidants get to feeling love is feelings of yearning or limerence that come from distance (emotional or physical) in a relationship - distance that often actually works against the long-term stability of that relationship.