How to meet new people and places to make friends

Moved to a new city? As an adult, introvert, ambivert, or anyone in between, it can be hard to make new friends and meet new people.

In this video, I talk about how to meet new people and where to meet new people. The possibilities of meeting a really great friend, best friend, or even soulmate are huge! I've met awesome people in all the places that I've lived, and I want to share the tips I've used over the years so that you can meet some awesome people too!

In this video:
0:00 Intro
1:18 How to meet people standing in line
2:01 How to meet people at events
2:58 How to meet people at parties
3:40 How to meet people at events that have a meal involved
4:46 How to meet people anywhere
5:14 Where to meet people
5:24 Where to meet people with similar interests as you
7:06 Where to meet people with similar book interests as you
8:29 Where to meet people in your city
9:26 Where to meet people in a learning setting
10:29 Where to meet people who enjoy trivia
11:15 Where to meet people who love to dance
12:23 Where to meet people who loved being active
13:29 Where to meet people who love serving the community
14:06 Where to meet people who love running and hiking
14:40 How to meet all your neighbors at once
15:30 How to meet new people online
16:29 Share the ways you've made friends!

******
Hi, I’m Vanessa!
You deserve more. More influence, more income, more of what you want. I would be honored to help you.

My name is Vanessa Van Edwards and I’m a recovering awkward person. I’m also a multi-time bestselling author of:
My goal is simple: Help YOU get to your goals faster. Never be overlooked, interrupted or forgotten again.
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PS - Join the conversation on social!

#meetpeople #makefriends #introvert #ambivert #extrovert #vanessavanedwards #captivate #captivatebook #cues #cuesbook

[tomcavanaugh]

1. Walk your dog - people talk to people walking a dog. People aren't nervous about saying something about a dog's appearance.
2. Go to the gym - I've made friends on the neighboring elliptical and in a yoga class.
3. Go on organized hikes - I was invited to the first one by a friend made while on the elliptical next to her.
4. Go someplace where you're the different one - I made friends of all ages, taking Korean language classes at a local Korean Catholic church. I ended up going to a wedding in Seoul.

[Teamshmo]

I think the main key is you have to be willing to actually meet people. It is one thing to go and do these things, but you must be committed to actually calling the people and hanging out a second time

[EssentiallyCeee]

As an introvert who moved to a new city during a pandemic and forgot how to socialize 😵‍💫 this was helpful. Thank you!

[jn]

Friends require time, attention and money to do things. As you get older, you lose friends because your time gets eaten by work and then your family. Also your personality gets narrowed down when you're older, you are a little more picky with who you let into your life. The struggle in new friendship and dating is not meeting people, its meeting and maintaining relationships with quality people. You do find those ass kissers who like to know everyone and pretend they're everyone's friend but they're shallow and tend to gossip. The easiest way to make friends is actually in academic courses or like gym classes.

[vero]

1. Look for long lines
2. Go towards people
3. Go early and leave late
4. Graze
5. Bring the right wing person
10 places to meet new people
1. Highly specialized events
2. Book clubs
3. City tour
4. Language class
5. Trivia night
6. Dance class
7. Specific fitness class or gym
8.Volunteer work
9. Hiking or run club
10. Block parties
Bonus: offer public advice or help

[sonriendooo]

When I was in university, I realized 90% of my college peers and friends would move to other cities upon graduation. It's just that the town we were in didn't offer amazing job opportunities at the time. But I liked it in there and was actually hoping to make a life for myself there. So, one day I thought to myself "I should definitely start looking for like-minded people outside of university so that when my friends leave, I have someone to hang out with." And this is how I signed up for salsa classes. I had always been a huge fan of dancing; the only trouble is, I liked to dance at home. Alone. So, this was a huge step for me given that I'm an introvert. Best decision ever! To this day, I still thank myself for being this bold. I can't believe it even crossed my mind. 😆 I vividly remember that flush of excitement that struck me at the end of that first class. I'd had so much fun that I wanted to explore different styles of salsa, and then I also got into bachata which turned out to be my biggest passion. Dancing taught me a host of lessons that I will never forget. It helped me be more persistent and socially active; not to mention I managed to build physical and mental skills.

By the end of the year, I had already made the acquaintance of more than 70 people outside of university. (And my goal had been to know a person or two, that's all, and then who knows...) I'm not saying I made friends with everyone but that wasn't my objective anyway. Over time, I swapped out dance clubs, so my social network expanded significantly. In the meantime, I also changed jobs, which brought more opportunities to meet new people.

However, a couple of years ago, I moved to a different city where I didn’t know a single soul. Based on my previous experience, I was super confident I was going to meet new people. All I had to do was join a dance club. (My backup plan was to enroll in a language course but that didn’t pan out.) The problem is, none of the clubs I went to appealed to me. See, when I was starting out, I was a beginner with no expectations or requirements. I was happy with whatever was offered to me because there was nothing to compare. However, 9 years later, I was no longer a beginner. I knew exactly what I wanted to get from those classes. I was looking for certain traits in the instructors and I just couldn't find that thing anywhere. Instead of having fun, I was annoyed and displeased with their lack of professionalism and questionable teaching skills. My money was better spent somewhere else. It was overly disappointing and heart-breaking because not only did I not make new friends but I also didn’t get to dance with other people anymore. I couldn’t practice the lead and follow roles, which is the fundamental thing about social dance. All I could do (on my own) was footwork and spinning techniques.

The funny thing is, I once went to have my hair done and the hairdresser turned out to be a hobby dancer. We ended up attending a couple of salsa parties together. But other than that, I still haven’t found a club that meets my criteria. And then the pandemic hit. Everything was all over the place, I forgot how to socialize, and I’m still trying to figure out how to lower my expectations so that I can join a course or something. It’s more than challenging to meet new people when you hit 30. You have a job and other responsibilities to take care of. Most of your friends are married now; no one has time to hang out. And you also are picky AF. I hope to be able to fight my inner demons some day.

[sifar]

So reassuring to hear it's normal to lose friends at 25. I lost all my friends last year as I turned 25 and I really needed to hear that.

[cw]

I tried what you suggested at work today… going to where the people are.So I sat In the break room instead of eating at my desk. It worked! I got nervous and talked a lot. Tomorrow I will do a better job of asking people about themselves..Thank You

[melissajourneys]

Thank you Vanessa!
These resonate with me:
-book club
-language class
-dance class
-specialized fitness class like cross fit, Pilates, swimming
-walking/hiking, running group
-block party
-offering advice

[rickchandler]

I'm going to give this a shot. I'm 52 and actually haven't had friends since I was in my early 20's. Never really cared actually. I'm about to retire and move to another country and for my wife's sake, I want to get better at this and actually make friend with people. She's actually good at it.

[properpsychology]

"What I am is good enough if I would only be it openly." -Carl Rogers

[paulharrison]

Vanessa, just found you doing an interview with Lewis Howes and Tom Bilyeu, I’m hooked, you make it all seem very straight forward. I’m 57 and find my self with no friends, changing career due to health issues and trying to find the real me. Quite daunting but with your help will be a lot easier now. Thank you

[stevehague]

Another study I heard of (can’t remember the study) showed that marriage is a big contributor to why people lose friends. Which I would say people start getting married around age 25. Could marriage be a driving factor of why people lose friends?

[heavysighs]

Excellent points! I’m a very outgoing and social person who thought I knew it all! You showed me new spots I had never thought of!!! Thank you! I love the Ghost Tour idea! BTW, my personal BEST advice from a 56 year old man who’s lead a blessed life - Instead of looking for people who have similar interests, which is like searching for a needle in a haystack sometimes, SIMPLY GO where they are. Use your imagination of your BEST LIFE and PARTNER; What are you doing? Where are you at? NOW, go there!!! Because your future partner is already there!

[MoveInSilence]

I am someone who was very introverted and shy when I was younger. I forced myself to be sociable. I'm usually the guy who throws his arm around someone. I love people and being around them. Great video Vanessa.

[angietorresbastidas]

Thank you so much for this information. This is gold to me. I have asperger's syndrome and I get anxiety when approaching people, but I wouldn't mind giving an honest compliment to someone that might be in front, behind or next to me.
I'm so looking forward to trying all of this.

[friendly]

I was a late bloomer and actually had the most deep friendships when I was from about 26-36. Since that time, friendships have slowly been getting distant as friends get married, have kids, move away, etc. Now at 47, I almost feel like I'm starting over. Revisiting old friendships that fell by the wayside, making a few new friendships here and there, but overall just feeling more distant from people. These tips are great, I used to actually do some of them. It's time to reincorporate them. Thank you!

[lululuxeboutique]

Talking to random strangers is probably not the hard part. It's the next step in getting to the point of exchanging numbers and gauging that they actually want to hang out with you and vice versa. What do you say to somebody you'll talk to but have no intention to hang with nicely if you have to see them again in the social setting?

[lynettendabambi]

Thanks for this video. I have lost close friends over the years due to shyness and ultimately isolating. Wish me luck in finding and cultivating my community.

[jellygurl]

These are all good ideas! Somewhere strange I have met people for the music lovers: not just going to concerts, but going to the VIP of your favorite band/musician. You will meet so many people you have a lot in common with just for having the same favorite artist.