How to MAKE FRIENDS as an ADULT: the best way to make new friends

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It's much harder to make friends as an adult, especially for men. For better or worse, most men in middle age devote half their waking life to work, and the other half to their wife and children. It's not that they don't value friendship; it's that society incentivizes and rewards men for prioritizing other things over these relationships. In today's episode, I discuss a nearly sure-fire way to make a few new friends as an adult in just a couple of months.

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Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world.

#psychology #friendship #men

[psychacks]

It's much harder to make friends as an adult, especially for men. For better or worse, most men in middle age devote half their waking life to work, and the other half to their wife and children. It's not that they don't value friendship; it's that society incentivizes and rewards men for prioritizing other things over these relationships. In today's episode, I discuss a nearly sure-fire way to make a few new friends as an adult in just a couple of months.

Social Media




Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community:

Book a paid consultation:

Sponsor an episode:

Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com

Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world.

#psychology #friendship #men

[yourgooglemeister]

Men Bond side-by-side rather than face-to-face that's some seriously good knowledge

[hydraulics]

I joined my first band at age 48. 10 years later i have made several friends. Music provided a whole social life to this loner.

[ozelot]

I’ve always struggled to make friends even as a child. Now that I’m an adult and working full time I find it extremely difficult to make lasting, meaningful male relationships that aren’t superficial.

[jamesmcinnis]

As I get older, fewer people look like potential friends to me. I don't think I'm being a snob, I just don't encounter people with whom I share similar interests and values. I'll try this advice. It makes sense.

[suzi]

After I retired from work I found myself bored and alone some days.
Anyway, I did an online search for volunteers in my area. Best thing I ever did. I ended up teaching basic IT to elderly folk, vastly increased my social circle (of all ages) and eventually got a paying part time job!
Volunteering gets you out there, go for it! 😎

[regulator]

Thanks! This video is really damn smart!! I have been in involved in the performing arts (theatre, choir, etc.) since I was 14. Every single good friend that I have made, every single girl I have ever dated, my wife of 22+ years were all met through the mutual participation in a creative project. I found that when people are together to achieve a common goal (in my case, the local theatre production, the Christmas or Easter cantata at church. etc.), there is less pretense, people don't put on a facade, and you get a better view of who people really are. Likewise, I feel I don't have to put up a facade, because I'm too busy working on the project. I have found that, in general, men are keenly wired to produce/create the "final product, " the "pelt to hang on a the wall." Thank you for this particular video segment.

[KingMinionDemon]

After turning 30 and getting out of a 3 year relationship, all i cared about doing was working on myself, reconnecting with old friends and making new ones. Im diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder and instead of labeling it a mental illness, i consider it a superpower to see things most people wont. Makes for fun conversations while i ask the person im talking to about themselves.

[someguyusa]

This is a message that many veterans need to hear as they transition back into civilian life. Some active duty members too just for when they PCS to a new location. I've lost friends who needed help with PTSD, they PCS'd, lost all their local friends as a result, then ultimately died by suicide. What a critical message for men in particular.

[freemindkev]

Men bond through DOING things with one another. Women bond through TALKING/VENTING with one another.

[martinisawe]

Im 24 and i made my 1st best friends ever(i have 2). It really is just spending time for yourself and to see who you really are. Once you love yourself and be your own best friend, then you'll naturally attract awesome people on your life. Also go and socialize with others, you'll never know when your next close friend will be

[masonthurman]

If you watched this and you thought “I don’t want to take a course!” Breathe easy. The overall sentiment here is to go through a shared experience to achieve a goal over condensed period with someone. A motorcycle adventure trip with a group would qualify. That’s more up my alley than getting a cert, so that’s what I’m going to pursue!

[moemanm]

I agree with this. One of the hardest times in my life was the court battle when going through a divorce. I found a men's divorce help group that would meet once a month for a couple hours. It was extremely beneficial, mentally and practically as they helped me navigate the legal system. I also formed very tight friendships because we were all under the same pressure and ultimately all battling the same bias against men in the courtroom.

[fluentinoverthinking]

Living in the US makes friendship complicated for some reasons. I came here from Europe and my ‘work buddies’ (I worked remotely) didn’t even had enough time/energy to meet which is insane for my European mind. I think it’s more about priorities in life than the real difficulty to find friends. I’ve noticed that in the US people’s connection to their ‘friends’ is barely 40% as close as in Europe. Maybe because American individualistic society is very self-centred. I’m sure there are people who still value friendship but it’s definitely NOT something that’s really appreciated in this country.

[academicknowhow]

you have no idea how this video is in perfect timing for me, just what i need right now.

[ShowMeWhatINeedToKnow]

I just realized something when you said men prefer to bond side-by-side and women face-to-face. I'm a straight man (if it matters) but prefer face-to-face meaningful conversations. And I have zero interest in sports, hunting, etc. I've traditionally had a lot more female friends in life then men. I've also been confused as to why the only male friend I still have, from grade school, always wants me to help him with projects when I come visit -- probably that's his side-by-side way of bonding.

[rumpeldumpel]

That example really hit home for me. I train jiu jitsu regularly, mostly for the camaraderie, and lately I've been noticing how few names I know in any given class because the school is so large and so many folks come and go. I always ask people's names at the beginning of a roll, but most people I see only once in a while. I'm friendly with lots of folks, but don't have any real friends there except for a few people I knew from before I joined. Years ago I used to train at a smaller school where I did have friends, but that school closed. I know, I know, find a new school. Working on it :)

[PuerinTheHunter]

It sounds like these would meet the criteria - what else?
* military boot camps
* culinary arts school
* medical residency
* intensive yoga training
* martial arts
* firefighting/police academy
* intensive language immersion
* startup accelerators
* extreme sports training
* peace corps/volunteering programs
* EMT/paramedical training
* merchant marine training
* film/theatre production
* wilderness first responder
* MBA ?

[thedevilsadvocate]

I've learned that I don't need "friends". I need to socialize when the need comes up. I have everything I need to live a very comfortable, quiet life.

[nicholasdodson]

Your elegance in explaining these matters shows just how deep of an understanding you have of the world. For someone who highly values truth, I can only show gratitude. I believe the spirit of the thing speaks through you to me. Thank you