How To Make Friends As An Adult - Jordan Peterson

Speaker: Jordan Peterson Thanks for watching!
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[akosibangbang]

I also realized that you know you have real friends when you are able to talk about difficult things with them and they will be there for you. It's irreplaceable.

[nikkisigmon]

So far, my best friends as adults have been me or them simply saying upon first or second meeting, "do you want to be friends?" Then exchange contact numbers and choose the next hangout. Am having better luck making friends since doing this 😆 Sometimes the skills learned in 3rd grade are handy as an adult too.
I regret not asking a lady to be friends after we shared a laugh over a "hairy balls milkweed" plant in a botanical garden. She was fun 🥰
Go out there, be silly, and make a friend :)

[baby-xpdn]

This is So true... I'm taking time off from a friend that i used to believe was one of my best friends... i realized she was always blocking me when i tried to share my thoughts and feelings about my life, but when it came to her, boy...she always wanted to share everything from A-Z no matter if it was negative or positive, and I've always been her listener for 24/7.
i had enough of that, this is not a real friendship.
i learned not to sale my self short.

[mrshan]

This man keeps changing my life. Got me out of dark places. I wish I could meet him sometime.

[castelodeossos]

Margaret Drabble's little novel 'The Millstone' is about a young woman with a child who struggles to get things done. Then she finds herself in a situation where she simply has to ask her neighbour to look after her child for a while. The neighbour is delighted to help, which gives the young mother confidence to ask others to help her in the run of the day. She then realizes that the millstone round her neck is not the child but her distrust of others.

[animeaunty]

I learned this many years ago... give others a space to b their best self.
Asking for something within their ability or not doing a thing urself when BOTH of u r offering, gives others the OPPORTUNITY to generate good feelings about themselves.

Some of today's ills r not only from people not doing for others but also from not asking & ASSUMING others won't step up. Most of the time, people like to help & giving them an opportunity to do so, fosters good will all around 👍☺️

[queend]

When I have moved somewhere new, I bake for my neighbours and go to introduce myself and ask a little bit about the area to see what their response will be. It works well 🤷🏾‍♀️

[jeffreydlugokinski]

If you make one friend in your life your lucky.

[dianele]

When I was with my one friend we didn't talk about problems we just did positive things together. My other friend we spent alot of time talking about religion & life. Enjoyed riding around going places.

[allanbrowniii]

Finally some background music that isn't fifteen layers deep... Thank you

[naomisims]

I think he knows what he's talking about. If we aren't able to sort of bounce thoughts off other people, we begin to feel our problems or thoughts are worse or "crazier" than everyone else's, or we end up having exaggerated feelings like anger & sadness. Just being able to express yourselves to another without judgement is really important.

[drummerchilipepper]

Love this man. So much care about others and empathy

[tabithaormiston-smith]

Absolutely! If you want someone to like you, never mind about what he thinks of you. It's how you make him think of himself, that's what matters.

[lindasue]

❤First of all, I will say I have zero interest in shorts. I do not watch them and I wish I could get rid of the “shorts section” permanently from my feed. Having said that, I saw the title of this one and it’s possibly the only short I’ve ever watched.

As a kid, it’s easy to make friends. As an adult I’ve never had much luck since I don’t have a lot in common with most people. This advice is a good icebreaker. Thank you❤

[Noelciaaa]

It's an important lesson. I used to avoid asking for any type of help but then my therapist made me realise that actually, people generally enjoy being given the chance to be useful, just as I do. I used to think that to make people like me I had to be the useful one and not ask for much in return but it only led to dissolution of that relationship eventually due to how fatiguing it would become to me. I thought I was wrong for not being strong enough.. No... I was strong alright, but a strong fool. By dismissing all chances these offers to help me, they would interpret it as them not being good enough to help, them being useless to me. And that's an awful thing to make a friend feel.. Now I'm trying to break out of this pattern, overcome shame that comes with admitting it's hard for me to do sth on my own and allow others to help, even if I'm convinced they can't... Sometimes you can be positively surprised.

[sle]

Problem is that these days people don't want to do anyone favors even simple ones.

[morgan]

This is so perfect. I love community, I don't know my neibours, it's actually odd, 2 years in this house now. I live in a very diverse area in my city I absolutely love it, but I want to know them and have that sense of community and common ground. They live so close but we are often very lonely creatures. This is just so lovely.

[GlorifiedGremlin]

Doing things for other people to make them happier just feels good in a very unique way. It's not the same good feeling you get from other things that make you happy, it's hard to explain

[EmmaLee]

I do this all the time, but the problem is they end up taking full blown advantage of me because I have a REALLY REALLY HARD TIME SAYING NO. I swear it's like some of these ppl (they're not all my actual "friends" so to speak just looking to take advantage) I swear they can just smell it on me or something the second they meet me! So now every single day I'm the town taxi and it's starting to feel like I can't have a single one day of the week where I can JUST worry about MY family and MY own kid, because some of the neighbors have now made it my responsibility to take care of theirs too, ride them around, pick them up from school. My neighbor friend has no car so of course I want to help but I can't help constantly and relieve you completely of what should be YOUR duty to YOUR OWN CHILD. Please don't forget how exhausting it is when your small favor turns into every day life! I have been trying to learn how to say "no" and it's really just so hard for me to do, and I truly don't know why I've developed this issue. :(

[crystalparker]

That's a good way to find out who is decent, I mean if they are decent and kind people. But I feel like it takes a bit more than that to make a friend. A friend, imo, has to be someone that you can talk to, so they have to share at least some similarities with you. Someone can be very kind yet be very different from you. You may not even share the very core beliefs on many things. Maybe it's just me, but it seems like I have a hard time with this, because I'm a very in the middle person. I'm not very snobby, preppy, uppity whatever you want to call it, but I'm not trashy, or on the downside of that spectrum either, and it seems that many folks I meet are on the extreme end of these things. At least they pretend to be. They will pretend to be so snobby, like they're very goody two shoes. Maybe once ya get to know them? Idk. For example, I'm a Christian, but I'm sure as heck not perfect. I found some Christian friends before, but I let a cuss word slip or they found out I was an ex addict or my life wasn't perfect, and then they either extremely judge me repeatedly or don't want to be friends anymore. It's truly sad cause that's not what Christianity is about and it turns so many people off to it. But that's been my experience, not always, but many times. So it's hard to make friends because it seems to me, it's hard to simply find a normal average person anymore. People are so extreme.