What To Do: Borderline Personality Disorder

Dr. Phil’s series, Toxic Personalities in the Real World, continues delving into borderline personality disorder, which Dr. Phil says is “the most stigmatized disorder of all.”

“One day, they’ll be full of vim and vigor, and confidence, and the next day, they’re wondering why they’re even in this world,” Dr. Phil says of the 18 million people affected by borderline personality disorder. “If you’re living with one of these people, there are a lot of dos and don’ts.” Find out what they are.

This series addresses mental health disorders; how to recognize them, establish boundaries, and how to coexist with those in your life who may have it with tools and guidelines that can help minimize damage to oneself and loved ones.

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CONNECT WITH DR. PHIL:

[Paul_doherty-th]

I could remember few years back after my wife died, I was left alone with 3 kids. I suffered severe depression and mental disorder. Got diagnosed with BPD. Not until a friend recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment changed my life for better. I can proudly say i'm totally clean for 6 years and still counting. Always look to nature for solution to tough problems, Shrooms are phenomenal.

[juliahettrick]

This disorder is a living hell...the ups and downs, paranoia, , bad relationships, insecurities, and risky behavior... cause of this and many more ... it's a miracle that I am still here yet!!!

[josephbuschette]

2 years ago I was given my BPD diagnosis. You go through so much up and down it's hard for people to keep up, and sometimes its impossible for us to keep up. It's nice to see someone explain this differently
We kill ourselves at a much higher rate than any other mental health concern, please take all comments we make about it seriously.
If you have BPD, or know someone with it that isn't in treatment, please get help as soon as you can. DBT is amazing, I've been working with that for the last year and I've learned so much from it. Whatever you do, please get the help you deserve, men can have this, and it can be hard to handle sometimes, but very much worth it when you do

[okayyywhateverrr]

As a sufferer of BPD, I would be eternally grateful if someone had the love and compassion for my existence to just say, “what did you hear me say?”… they noticed it hurt, they cared, they’re just checking, they’re concerned, they’re invested, I’m not alone, they are present with ME where I am and they are giving me a life raft to help get me back to where they are.

[angelbogart]

I can't tell you how grateful I am for Dr Phil addressing this personality with such compassion. We're not easy. At all. It's not always easy to be around us but think how much torture it is to BE us. Thank you all for even trying✌💙

[julierussell]

Hearing this makes me sad as a mum. I want to help my son get better but I'm starting to realise that he is the only one the can help himself with professional help. BPD is such a horrible illness😔

[katiepayne]

As a diagnosed and self aware Borderline, I really appreciate the advice here.

[efqmgyt]

I had a girlfriend who i highly suspect to be BPD...I've never found in my life a pure soul like her, full of joy, she has that kind of and unique and magic personnality that makes her so attractive... But in the other hand, when things were going bad...it was really bad and dramatic, especially through her interpersonal relationship. She always felt threatened by others without reasons...my friends, my family and she suffered of a lot of anxiety and I didn't understand...she finally broke up with me after 4 years, without clear reason she just didn't «feel it» anymore... I wish her the best cause she gives me so much joy in m life.

[itsthelittlethings]

Don't ask yes or no questions but instead, verify what they heard is huge and important advice. Ty.

[fullofhope]

15 years with weekly sessions - only in the last year of therapy was I told I had borderline personality - i thought i was depressed/bipolar - then I started reading up - and YES YES its me

[catlovesdogs]

A lot of those diagnosed with BPD are not being treated properly. They have Complex-PTSD and need to self-nurture after not being nurtured or validated properly by their parents, caregivers, and/or siblings(family of origin). Complex-Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is a response to what happened to them as very young children (left crying for a long time and told to stop crying and so on and so forth) and in order to survive, they walked on eggshells and put up with drunks and malignant narcissists and put all their needs on the back burner for many years (conform). As teenagers and young adults, they are narcissistically abused and they are the lost child and quite often scapegoated. I hope and pray the new DSM (DSM VI) will have this included. Thank you for your shows and care for others.

[ish]

Thank you so much Dr. Phill.
I was recently diagnosed with BPD and what you explained is how I feel every day. Now I understand myself. I am doing my best to help myself.

[TheFloridaTraveler]

A good one to say is, , "...what are your thoughts?...". They feel part of the discussion or situation.

[nitreal]

My first response to anyone who thinks they need help is going to be go to your Doctor and be honest with them. In saying that, the more light that is shed on this subject the better we can all address these situations. It’s good to have an idea on how to approach these types of problems.I certainly wouldn’t want to make it worse for them. Thank you Doctor Phil, you nailed it.

[mackrobinson]

I was mad at my mom for a really long time for treating me the way she did, calling the cops on me to be taken to the hospital. I see now that it must’ve been really hard being around me with all of my bpd symptoms emerging in adolescence. I wish she was still here to see I’m coping better with my mental illness and to apologize for putting her through watching her loved one struggle, especially since I think she was also undiagnosed for whatever she was struggling with as well.

[cristasattler]

Diagnosed with this and bipolar 1. I've realised that I can be very toxic, so at 43 with a 21 yr old and a 5 yr old, I'm happy to be single but I try so hard not to take my "crazy" out on them.

[nancysrios]

My mother in law was horrible. I never understood why none of my husband’s family never took her to treatment. She became impossible to deal with. It’s sad really.

[Anonymous-kiix]

I suffer from bpd. It's ruined my life but I'm still trying.

[bambiemurphyuk]

So true, we see a question as complicated, its hard to answer just yes or no. Feelings of not wanting to be wanted and I am not wanted.

[BBFCCO]

I grew up with an emotionally unstable father and sister who never got help and were violent. My mother is their enabler. The rages and abuse was unrelenting and the intimidation and push-pull was very confusing for me for YEARS. I was diagnosed with BPD traits and Cptsd. I have received years of therapy and have improved significantly, especially the self destructive and addiction issues because of the trauma. I am still seeking therapy and was told I am on the low spectrum and so free therapy can be a challenge to find. I do catch myself when I overreact especially when my partner loses patience with me, I feel like I need to defend myself or he will swallow me up, like my father did (abandonment issues). (The issues with him were never infidelity or drug abuse, but emotional outbursts and mistrust because lack of a good role models)I do know that untreated BPD IS dangerous for yourself or others. Although the self-discipline is there, there are emotional holes that take years to heal, but it is possible. Don't beat yourself up but get the help. It's curable. The founder of DBT Marsha Linenhan was borderline herself, so it's really inspiring to know things will get better with the therapy.