Supporting Loved One with BPD Quickstart Guide

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#cptsd #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #supporting
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NOTE: ALL VIDEOS are for educational purposes only and are NOT a replacement for medical advice or counseling from a licensed professional.

Video by Dr. Dawn Elise Snipes on integrative behavioral health approaches including counseling techniques and skills for improving mental health and reducing mental illness.

TIMESTAMPS
00:00 Intro
00:24 What is Borderline personality
05:00 Understanding the consequences of borderline personality BPD
12:05 Tips and tools to help people with borderline personality

[DocSnipes]

👌More videos can be found on this topic at
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[clouddancer]

To anyone who learns about and supports those challenged with borderline personality disorder, thank you. 💗

[laceawho]

As a person diagnosed with BPD, we are still also responsible for our treatment and growth. It needs to be both.

[sk_lxr]

I met a girl with bpd a couple months ago. she's the most mature, kindest, most awesome person out there. she mentioned that she has it in passing. I'm glad that she's very communicative with me and we already have some things established for when her mood is down (I knew she was unstable emotionally but didn't know why. she also tends to deal with it on her own and I really want to help her), but I'm preparing in case I ever am the person helping her through a crisis or just in general. thank you for this video.

[nefwaenre]

Been diagnosed a long time ago, with little to no relief in therapy (doc won't listen to me and just gave me mood stabilisers, and anti psychotic medicines). The therapist didn't even want to work with traumas that i went through that i need closure for, and he shamed me the same way my mom shames me for, practically everything. So i'm watching this and other videos of yours to help me help myself. Thank you.

[nikhook]

Thank you for your video. I've been with my undiagnosed BPD wife for over 35 years. The changes in behavior are drastic and frequent, often, many times per day without apology ever. I cannot bring up the words " get help" without a complete denile and then blame and devaluing me. I have learned to stay calm and set boundaries and not blame. I do believe some people are on a much deeper spectrum than others. I've heard bits and peices of this advice for years and try my best to listen and validate her feelings. What always amazes me is when we go to visit friends or relatives, she can behave for the most part normal, most of the time BUT as soon as we get in the car to go home it starts immeadiatly.
She has horrible anxiety and I feel for her and try to rationalize the situations to little or no avail. For my own sanity, I walk away from the situations many times as she has no regard for my feelings. Which makes no sense because if she has such strong feelings/emotions herself and is hurt, why can't she see and feel how it hurts me or others??? The constant gas lighting, manipulation and devaluing is so hurtful and exhausting and I have no help or friends to talk to. Our grown children don't even want to hear it. They don't enjoy visiting us because theve lived it too. Yet nobody gets punished more than me. My kids tell me it's OK to divorce her. That's not really what I want. I can see she has really lost hope and so have I lately. This is just the tip of the iceberg. So much pain for both us. The good days are few and far in between.

[dawnfetchko]

Many thanks for the great video! I extend love and support to my fellow BPD survivors, as every day can be a struggle, and every morning means we survived another day. When we say life is pain, that it actually hurts... it does. It's not attention seeking... it's real. People with BPD can detect anger when someone is only 30% angry... for people without BPD, they can't detect anger until someone is about 70% angry. Imagine going through life not only without a sense of self, but even if you do everything right, all you see is anger surrounding you 70% of the time. God forbid you do something wrong. It's terrifying. The way people react to us causes PTSD. We withdraw, spiral, lash out, and even appear to be many different people in a day. It isn't fun. We gain no pleasure from being this way, especially when we spiral. Many of us just want to be loved and reassured. ... To the people here who are supportive, understanding, and are watching this to try to better understand and help the people in your lives with BPD... thank you so much. ... To the people here who are whining that people with BPD are narcissistic and are doing this to you on purpose, if you have someone with BPD in your life and you really feel that way, you are part of the problem... either listen to the video and try to be a good support person... or get the heck away from us. We recover, survive, and persevere much better without someone who is constantly creating an invalidating, passive-aggressive, environment and making us feel 100 times worse than we already do. You will never beat us up as much as we beat ourselves up. So just quit... really.

[agoodgurlk]

All of your content is such a blessing!

With cPTSD I have found that I need to be my own best advocate and protector. Being proactive with my dysregulated emotions and not getting stuck on others understanding or supporting me. These symptoms are really hard for anyone to understand unless they've experienced them firsthand or highly sympathetic.

[s-lowe-ks]

Thank you for this video Doc. Its left me feeling like hugging my bpd loved one right away. I can't help but feel nothing but compssion for my loved one right now. This is very hard for those that care for them.

[NottaSoul]

As someone with BPD I like dr Snipes. She’s gentle.

[khoakdoan]

I was the most patient person she had ever met, I learned everything I could about her BPD to thoroughly understand and comprehend her feelings. But none of it mattered because I triggered something when I asked for time for myself and she must've felt abandoned. She hopped into a new relationship right after me, they're so confusing.

[justinfoley]

I have been working with my therapist for a year and a half now and she has given me the awareness of this condition I struggle with. I shared this video with my supports, so that they can better understand what’s going on internally for myself. I’m still learning, growing and healing. Thank you for this information, it’s accurate and extremely helpful. There is a lot of misinformation out there floating around, and that makes it even more challenging for the general public to understand.

[andreagrace]

My spouse had BPD and ur videos are truly helping rm be a better partner and saving our relationship

[miagonzo]

this is literally so perfect. thank you for this. all my life i have been trying to get people to understand...

[bonnykiser]

This is a godsend! I feel the info in this video will help with our 28 year old adult child living at home. His trigger is exhaustion after work and when we offer help and he becomes "dependent" on someone. Thank you for suggesting journaling. This could be a huge part of celebrating the progres. Can't say thank you enough for putting this video together for caregivers! I can now handle the episodes in a way that won't make things worse.

[ArtfulRe]

This is so helpful and actually practical! I even took notes (which I don't normally do). Thank you

[isaiahsdead]

Could you do a video on how to calm ourselves when helping a loved one with bpd I often find myself getting tied into the spiral and we both start going down and it just makes everything worse. Thanks for this video it was great.

[hickorysmokedribs]

Thank you so much for this video. You cannot imagine how many lives you have touched with your knowledge.

[bemad]

My partner has BPD and it has been an absolute struggle because of how bad they have it. This video helps alot. Im doing my best not to hurt them and learn their triggers properly.

[GnosisMan]

A family member has BPD and for the life of me, the etiology you provide on it feels very discouraging. My family member has already burnt her bridges with everyone except me but it's really hard to be with her Jeklyill and Hyde behavior. While it's very informative to know and recognize BPD for what it is, finding the right kind of therapy to rise above it leaves a lot to be desired. I fear the worse for her since she does not have healthcare that pays for therapy.