The Difference Between Serial Cheating and an Affair

There is a saying that "once a cheater, always a cheater." For some this is true and they become serial cheaters. However, if both partners are committed to restoring trust and honesty, an affair can just be an affair. Restoring that trust is hard work, however, and requires incredible humility and awareness. This video talks about the differences between someone who made a horrible mistake and someone who has a toxic, destructive habit.

Mary Jo Rapini, MEd, LPC is a psychotherapist, specializing in intimacy, parenting, body image, and relationships.

Reaction Reset is a self-help series that explains the psychology behind why we react negatively and how we can begin to make a positive change. Subscribe for a new episode every other Wednesday!

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[jalisa]

Thank you. This video is spot on a serial cheater, always end up cheating again and again with many different people.

[amandamarie]

Found out about multiple transgressions throughout our marriage. Has expressed remorse but still can’t give me access to his phone, email, makes it so I can’t see his friends on social media etc. it’s heartbreaking 😔

[Seabass]

Makes perfect sense. Closure video right here!

[lorrainebuono]

Please don’t think you’ve got the unicorn and they will stop because they love you and the family life they created with you. That will just trap you for longer and break your heart even deeper. In my experience and with friends’ scenarios, they will eventually leave you for one of their conquests. They will blame it on your inability to communicate, or not keeping the house clean or some insignificant fault they have to underline of yours, so you feel you did something to lose them. It is not your fault!! They are disordered and this is who they are and will always be. They do NOT change for the next one either. Cut your losses and leave. It’s so incredibly painful, but there is peace on the other side of abuse and you will get there. Their life will not pan out, no matter how great it looks on the surface.

[matheletsie]

Thanks, you just described my husband...He is a serial cheater

[juanitadudley]

I'm no shrink, but in my nonexpert opinion, this sounds like narcissism at the very least

[rmorse]

You summed it perfectly. Every where we went, she was on the make. It didn't matter where or who at dinners, parties, even family reunions were ok for her, and even a family funeral . "Yuke." She would walk 10 feet in front of me, so it looked like we weren't together, I caught her making eyes and gestures even while we were walking, holding hands. Complete phyco and needs help. Whatever you do, don't marry anyone who shows the signs she mentions in the video. Trust me, your life will be nothing but an embarrassing hell on earth.

[keora]

😭😭😭😭😭😭I MARRIED A SERIAL CHEATER. I AM SICK TO MY STOMACH AND MY DAD REFUSES TO LET ME LEAVE

[DoubtingThomas]

This is a great video. Thank you very much.

[ryankeller]

My ex fiancee was a serial cheater and I’m so devastated

[nezisgarden]

Serial Cheaters are hopeless. Have self respect. Never allow opportunist into your life. Love yourself first so you can have a good life.

[bradleywesterford]

how about someone who cheated in their prior relationship, but swore up and down that they would never do that again, because they learned their lesson and don't want to be 'that kind of person' but then cheated on their current partner after 8 years?

[americandad]

I heard a lot of excuses but one, maybe the cheater is just a selfish asshole !

[mjohnstonflying]

My wife worked for the PD, endless amounts of officers. She didnt need online or parties. Even some of the officers met me and shook my hand.

[lilaccilla]

addiction to attention from women I believe .and addition to the high of getting away with it .

[williamripple]

Mary Jo,

How many separate APs would identify a spouse as a serial cheater? As opposed to a spouse who simply made "only" four mistakes, with one being a year-long affair?

[jensbornagain]

I had a discussion in pre marriage cousoling with my husband and I made it clean that strippers was cheating one year after marriage I found out he had one at his bachelor party. So I left. He talked me back and swore he would never do it again. Long story short he did. And the when I found out about his affair and massive porn use I also found out he had been going to strip clubs behind my back many times after is it fair to say that is serial cheating ? I was never told the truth still to this day.

[HollyMaysHarshAwakening]

Husband cheated on me and his son. YES, he slept with his sons wife. We all was left suicidal im still in recovery

[elizabeththomason]

My husband at the time, said to me, "Every one I dated wanted to marry me, yuck!" I believed he was not talking about women in the past he dated, but at the time he said this. This was a Freudian slip. He did not want to marry any of the women he was cheating with, he only wanted to use them for sex. He was using all the women he had sex with. He eventually ran off with another woman. I should have sent the other woman flowers for enticing him out of the house.

[karensinclair]

That’s my estranged wife to a tee! Wasn’t sure if it was just limerance