Are narcissists faking it the entire relationship? | The Narcissists' Code Ep 654

Was any of the relationship with a narcissist real or was the entire thing faked?

Welcome my channel! If this is your first time seeing my face or hearing my voice, my name is Lee and I am a self aware narcissist. I have narcissistic personality disorder ( NPD ) and I've been in therapy for my personality disorder since 2017 and it has definitely changed my life because without it, I would have lost everything.

The point of these videos is to help bring awareness from the other side of the narcissistic *buse spectrum. All my videos give perspective on why many narcissists do what they do and the possible different reasons behind them. The victims and survivors get validation and the Narcissists (those that are willing) get to see that you can get help and that you are not alone.

Thank you so much

[Beautiful_Divine]

Their faking it they don’t even really like you their jealous of you actually because they lack everything you have they mirror you because they have no real personality they want to break you down to their level

[stormyskyz]

Relationships are supposed to evolve.. couples should be able to problem solve. The moment you ask them about anything that requires emotions or adulting it’s a problem

[GLeon-ovyu]

These demons are way to much work. Love yourself enough to find someone capable of love every day.

[theblackswan]

Being with a narc is like a drug that gives you a 10 second high, then BOOM, back to reality, now we’re chasing that high again 🤦🏽‍♀️🤷🏽‍♀️

[radiance]

"It'll never be as good as it was in the beginning". That hit hard. 😭

[empressdawnsomerville]

Nothing is real with a narcissist EXCEPT their evilness.

[dmrules]

I remember once I was pleading with my NPD husband to just be nice to me. And I said, can’t you just treat me like you do your clients? You are nice to them. He said, oh so you want me to be fake? And I said, no, I just want you to be nice. And he said, being nice is exhausting. I was so blown away by this. I knew he was a monster at that point, but that was just shocking to me.

[debbieramsey]

The narcissist took my light and replaced it with major depression, anxiety, insomnia, ptsd, etc Do I think that the narcissist can change. Absolutely not.

[litedawg]

What you have touched on here is quite possibly the most important/ confusing part of dealing with NPD. Because you remember the initial love bombing and parts of the relationship where their love and affection felt real and you know it was real.
Then they get bored with you and that’s when the real mind f$cking starts. For over a year I asked myself if she even liked me as a person after going through a period where I was certain she loved me. I’m 54 and this was the most difficult unsatisfying relationship I’ve ever been in. So glad I saw that something was very wrong and broke up with her, my heart told me to keep trying but my gut told me to get out now, and that’s what I did.

[prettylovelyhappy]

I think what it comes down to is in the beginning, the narcissist isn’t INTENTIONALLY being fake; they feel all the butterflies and they want to mirror you because it’s only natural to mirror people you like. Then, their true self begins to come out—the way they criticize themselves is how they criticize you.

[maryl]

"Wasted" years is a very accurate description of what a narcissist does with those years in the life of those they "claim" to love.

[lb]

Me and my friend argue about this all the time. The more I learn about narcissism ...the more I believe that WITHOUT HELP THROUGH THERAPY....narcs are not capable of anything real....because everything is a facade...strategic...and a manipulation of life and all in their lives...to block out their OWN ISSUES.

[christenyoshimura]

I just found out my narcissistic ex was living a double life. I gave him everything and the entire time he lied and hid an entire double life. He made me feel insane and crazy but now I’m healing from my trauma bond. Thank you for explaining this. He did everything you’re describing and i’ve been so anxious it’s made me physically sick.

[LovelyLady.]

My mother taught me that narcissists, players, users, and opportunists, can s***t hard, but they can’t s***t long meaning they can’t keep up pretenses for very long. My mother wasn’t lying.

[brinamills]

It is sad that this makes perfect sense to me. It's like being in a relationship with two different people. The person you thought they were, and the person they really are.

[cloyewoods]

In my case, the ENTIRE relationship was fake, which is ironic because he bragged about being so REAL. I've discovered those who have to brag about it are NOT it. Lol Honest people don't brag about being honest.

[AprilKnudson]

"We want to make you feel how we feel."
That one was deep. A great way to say it.

[timwilmot]

Narcissists are self-destructive. It's real in the beginning and wonderful. From that point on, it's an inevitable decline. It's like living the movie Groundhog Day. You live the same frustrating day over and over again until the final betrayal that is rock bottom for you.

[LilMsLorelei]

This is all so true. The first year was good and then it was like somebody flipped a switch shortly after we were married. He was absolutely head over heels initially. I was “The One”, but I think the narcissistic personality is so immature, it just cannot handle any of the reality of a true relationship. They are perpetual children and petulant ones at that.

[project]

Most people can only hide who they are for about the first 90 days in a relationship before the red flags begin to show up. The narcissist is all about image and false identity. That leads me to believe that while the relationship was real, the image that was presented was not. A relationship with an unaware narcissist is an eternal conundrum...one that I am not willing to try and solve