Are Narcissists Lying or Delusional? | Dr Frank Yeomans

Frank Yeomans describes the difference between lies and delusion (and psychosis) within narcissistic pathology, with several clinical examples focusing on employment situations from his Transference-Focused Psychotherapy practice.

Why do people delude themselves? What is the real purpose of narcissistic lies or delusions? How are they different from psychosis? What is their impact on relationships? Does lying to people mean you are antisocial or have NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder)? How should a therapist handle a client who is delusional?

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Dr. Frank Yeomans is an expert clinician who makes use of Transference-Focused Psychotherapy in his practice treating NPD and BPD. In fact, he co-wrote the manual on TFP for Borderline Personality Disorder!

Disclaimer: "Please be advised this video may contain sensitive information. All content found within this publication (VIDEO) is provided for informational purposes only. All cases may differ, and the information provided is a general guide. The content is not intended to be used as a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you have specific questions about a medical condition, you should consult your doctor or other qualified medical professional for assistance or questions you have regarding a medical condition. Studio Comma The, LLC and BorderlinerNotes does not recommend any specific course of medical remedy, physicians, products, opinion, or other information.

[jameshicks]

"For the narcissist, reality is an aggression." That's a brilliant statement
.

[danielscheff]

The depressing thing about learning about narcissism is when you realize that no matter how well you come to understand it, nor how well you come to understand your loved ones who have it, there's no fixing it. It helps to know that, to an extent, so you stop bashing your head against the wall, and can learn to protect yourself, but at the same moment, you have to mourn the loss of loved ones, be they parents, siblings, children, friends, co-workers or whomever. Mourning the loss of someone that's still alive, and maybe still in your life, is a dark place to be.

[terenzo]

Compulsive lying is the narcissist's game: 1) I lie, 2) you believe me, 3) therefore, having fooled you, I'm smarter than you.

[colywogable]

Narcissists are cowards. They are scared of everything, and instead of facing the music like the rest of us, they meltdown and lash out. It is profoundly cowardly.

[le_th_]

Narcissists PROJECT their own issues, lack of morality, and lack of ethics onto others. You don't have to be around a narcissist long to learn that they will accuse you (or to hear them accuse strangers) of exactly of what they're guilty of doing. THAT is how you learn about what a narcissist is up to in their secret life. They just tell on themselves so so often.

...and although I don't hear this discussed much, and I've personally not found this in any of the research I've read, narcissists genuinely do believe they're unloveable if you can get them to drop their guard long enough to be vulnerable with you. When they finally admit that, no matter what they've done to you or others, it breaks your heart a little realizing they sincerely believe that (and they've believed that since they were little preschoolers.

[JohnORourke.]

I had lots of experience with a malignant narcissist, I still believe deep down, they know exactly what they're doing.

[alcrook]

A narcissistic pathological liar is hopeless in my opinion. Anyone who can't admit and learn from their mistakes and deny are doomed to suffer. Doubling down when they get called out as a liar or a fake is the narcissists worst enemy. The denial can lead to worse behaviour. Narcissists who are also pathological liars can turn into criminals, rapists, stalkers and child molesters when they lose narcissistic supply.Thank you for an informative video.

[GustavoGarcia-hiyq]

This sums up my life. I'm 25, never worked, attended to college but didnt conclude yet. I always felt like I was super inteligent and better than other people, but on the other hand always felt owrthless and unlikable, always had serious problems making friends and interacting and living in general. For many years I feel so ashamed of myself that the only way for me to interacti with someone is to constantly lie. I believed my antisocial tendencies were the mark of the great genius I was, having a much deeper understanding about life and the world could only led to isolation. Only recently, after 4 years of abusing drugs, i managed to get clean and finally perceive that all my thoughts were delusions. Reality does feel like agression indeed. Im supercritical of myself and everyone else too, and literally anything I try to do feels horrible. I don't know what to do and been contemplating ending my life on multiple ocasions, but my belief in God and spirituality prevents me from doing it.

[hannahpumpkins]

My mother and father were both diagnosed with NPD, and they lie lie lie all the time. Constantly. My father always tries to steal from me, and as a former police officer I always manage to catch him in the act. When I ask him why he's stealing from me, he yells, "BECAUSE I'M THE IMPORTANT ONE, NOT YOU"!

[marcelastacey]

5:05 for the narcissist, reality is an aggression. That’s got to be so painful for the narcissist.

[zardoz]

I lived in Hollywood for many years. I learned a lot about narcissism.

[ChuckSpade]

It is entirely possible for a narcissist to be both genuinely deluded and a ratbag that uses lies to shaped to suit their self serving agenda.

[stavokg]

I can’t get over the perfect ending, “For the narcissist, reality is an aggression”. Wow!

[polarvortex]

One worst things about narcissists that I've encountered is that the history of your past interactions with them is always changing in their minds. A good time had by all can become a failed outing that they deeply hated; a small gesture made by them can morph into a major act of generosity that you should be forever grateful for; a promise made by them can become something they swear they never said, or the wording of the promise can significantly change, ect. So you realize nothing is ever really fixed or "in the can" with them. The past is full of shifting sands -- and always shifting to favor the narcissist's narrative. It's maddening, and, this case, they seem to partly believe the new and changed version of the "truth." You'd need to carry a rolling video with you 24/7 to fight against this neverending shaping of the past -- but even then you'd soon discover that it's not really about the evidence. It's all about how they want things to have been to suit their current needs.

[LasshaLiou]

''For the narcissist, reality is an agression'' This is a very powerful statement by Dr. Yeomans. I was blown away. Wow!

[nettiea]

To maintain her self esteem my mom lies about others. Outrageous stories about her own kids that are fictitious. It’s sad. I had to seek a reason why! Thx for this video

[kynathomas]

The narcissists I knew spent all of his life smoking marijuana, drinking, and chasing women. I once asked him what were his plans for the future? He stated " I'm going to be a millionaire one day."
I asked how was he gonna do that when he doesn't even have a high school diploma? He replied with so much anger " I don't need to have a high school diploma to become a millionaire ".
I then replied " Do you have the numbers to win the mega millions ?"
The look on his face was anger to say the least.

[sugarfree]

It's the blurring, on the part of the narcissist, between self-delusion and lies that makes them so dangerous. Self-delusion is sad; lies are bad. All those around the narcissist are vulnerable to gaslighting themselves into taking the latter for the former - and the narcissist will always help them to do that. Why wouldn't they?

[gnargnarbros.]

I love listening to this guy! He's so smart, and articulates everything he says so beautifully & so clear! Makes his points so clear!

[danishmodern]

I love that Dr Yeomans talks about mistakes he made with a client. So refreshing.