5 Tips to Make Assertive Communication Easier and More Effective

Hello Brains! I’m obsessed with assertive communication right now because it’s a super effective way to express our needs while actually *Improving* our relationships. It’s a win/win. Seriously. THIS. CHANGES. EVERYTHING.

But actually practicing assertive communication can be hard. Here are some helpful tips!

Last episode:
“Why People Pleasing Doesn’t Make People Happy”

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Assertive communication is clearly and honestly expressing our feelings and needs, while respecting the feelings and needs of the other person.

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[danielkelley]

Very good information in there. It’s a skill no many people have. I struggle with it even at age 53. Understanding how we feel and then communicating that is very hard.

As always, thank you for what you do here. You’re a positive influence in the ADHD community and I hope you keep it up for a long time.

[LosingLara]

I think a good thing to remember with assertive communication is that it takes two willing people to have an open conversation about your feelings. If the person you are trying to communicate with isn't willing to work with you or listen with an open mind then sometimes the best assertive communication tool is to walk away from that person, even if it's hard.

[YoSamdySam]

I appreciate how your videos/editing style always make me feel like I'm listening playback speed 1.5x... Straight to the point!

[Mystikeb]

My Psychiatrist suggested I think about the questions I'm asking, and try to get to the REAL question that's buried in there under some of the assumptions being thrown on top of it implicitly by the phrasing of the question. So I think "what's the REAL question I'm trying to ask?"

Also, my Psychiatrist told me to pay attention to what I'm doing when I'm struggling with something, and ask myself why I'm struggling and how I can make it easier on myself. For example, I was trying to write this advice down on an index card on my lap. He noticed I was struggling to write, and slipped a clipboard underneath the index card. I told my Psychologist about the experience (I'm getting lots of help these days!), he loved it and suggested I think of it this way: "Where's my clipboard?" (aka "how can I make this easier").

Just wanted to share. This video is so promising. I really hope people can learn from this.

[ruqiuu]

What you do is really something amazing. As someone who struggles with ADHD it’s great to finally have a place where I can learn to cope with things with effective strategies and feel less alone with what I’m going through. It’s not often I see channels like these that address ADHD and express those things in the way that you do. It’s done a ton. Please keep doing what you love and take care of yourself! Thank you so much

[pnut]

I am assertively telling you that this video is awesome! Thank you!

[FyberOptic]

The last episode really made me think, because my girlfriend is very selfless and always apologizing. So I asked her what does SHE need immediately after we watched it.

She didn't know what I was talking about, because she was half asleep. I asked her what was the last thing she remembered, and it was "Hello Brains." 😅

We're working on it.

[madmisskelly]

I've learned to compromise really well since I was a child. I think I learned it to deal with a mom who was super anxious who could sometimes explode when discussing feelings. What I learned through that and future relationships is taking everyones perspective into account so often thatI forget my own and often forget how I feel until way later. This is probably where journaling comes in handy. Really examining how you feel and why.
Brain dumps in your BuJo are great for this because they are often straight to the point. "I cooked dinner again. I like cooking but not always. Wish he would cook more." The brain dump boils down the feeling to the point and you can pick what you really need/feel before you bring it up again.

[mofasaelrafih]

I am so happy your posting more often:) love your channel

[cynthiamolenaar]

I’m always overwelmed by agressive communication by others and feel attacked by that, sooo hard to not react in an agressive way myself and then getting beyond the point of no return like you mentioned...it does a lot to hear you name the exact same struggles I have...

[tammymakesthings]

It was so huge for me when I started to learn to recognize the difference between feelings and interpretations! One tip I learned: If you say a sentence that starts with “I feel like...” or “I feel that...”, you’re expressing an interpretation and not a feeling.

[poserdisposer]

Somehow whatever you make a video about is just what I need at the time! Thanks so much, Jessica!

[haileyscomment]

I try to have assertive communication... but generally I just end up crying 😅😭

[SweetHelmets]

Oh how I wish this was uploaded yesterday! I had been feeling anxious about my friendship with a really close friend, and I ended up talking to her yesterday. The situation turned out fine and we’re okay, but these tips would’ve helped me express my feelings a little better instead of making me sound insane. Now I know these tips for the future! Thank you for everything you do to help us Brains handle ADHD better.

[Lmaotfbro]

Did anyone else notice the constant moving camera angles and jump cuts in her videos? I've watched this channel for over a year now, and I just realized it and it's probably done on purpose to help with our focus! I don't know if that was the intention, but it's working! <3

[SuellenMarjorry]

It’s incredible how communication changes everything. I am an ADHD (combined ) in Brazil, and watching your videos and reading the comments make me feel part of a community instead of alone, integrated instead weird.
Here is a tip, if you can’t talk to others, try writing to yourself, with time your habit of writing will make it easier for you to chose the words better and to search your feeling more deeper. The results are great.

[temporarythoughts]

I'm loving your channel! The friendly character, always resting on logical statements, concise and to the point, researched, what more could you ask for. 😊

[Sortaman]

I feel excited about your type of content recently. It is more about awareness and mindfulness.
I do also feel really curious about how your channel progresses.

[NEENEEx]

I am 61 and STILL trying to figure it out🤷🏻‍♀️. Wasn’t even diagnosed until my 18 year old son was diagnosed 😳. The tips, challenges and various personal issues you share take this whole tribe one step closer to understanding ourselves better and thereby, become more understood. Thank you!

[karahnovak]

It always feel like you post your videos just when I need them!! I’ve been having some communication problems lately with various people in my life, and I think trying to keep more of this in mind will really help me. Thank you so much for what you do!