The Dark Empath | 5 Traits

The Dark Empath,

It's not even a clinical term, but I am sure you have been curious to find out more about this often-mentioned personality type.

by the end of this video, you will walk away with a total understanding of this personality type and what it entails.
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Timestamps:
00:00 | Intro
00:13 | Trait 1 - No payoff in social interaction
00:51 | Trait 2 - Heightened ability to map other people
01:07 | Trait 3 - Detached emotionally
01:18 | Trait 4 - Grandiosity
01:38 | Trait 5 - Exploitative
01:56 | What really is happening...
02:57 | Shocking research
03:50 | Vengeful & Spiteful
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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTHCARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.

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#SOCIOPATHY #Abuse #RichardGrannon

[piathomas]

The dark Empath has evolved through abuse .
Nietzche said something like be careful fighting monsters that you do not become a monster yourself.

[snipergaming]

Contrary to popular belief, that they are just high in cognitive empathy. Some are very high in affective empathy too. Dark empaths are usually your typical empath that has turned bad, often as a result of abuse they themselves have had to bear at some point in their lives. They often reach a point where they stop caring for others and detract themselves from other peoples emotions etc... For this reason I hesitate to call Dark empaths Covert-Narcissists, as is suggested in this video.

[gnashsang]

I am a dark empath. I was raised by a malignant grandiose narcissist father that used to beat me at six years old for something as simple as not putting away a pair of scissors. I’m not emotionally detached from people that are in my life and I consider them friends or loved ones. If you do something to someone I care about I will destroy you. I’m very cruel, and can be quite grandiose. But I don’t have an overwhelming sense of entitlement. I used to seek out narcissists and ruin them when they crossed me. I’m retired now and keep to myself, so stay clear of cluster B personality types and my life is much more peaceful.

[melissahutton]

I could never decide if my husband was a covert narcissist because he displayed some empathy for others. I could see it there and hope he could have some for me in various situations over the years. It was always lacking. I decided it didn’t matter if he had any empathy or not it wasn’t enough! The degrading, neglect and physical violence put my life in danger so many times and at the very least I was in emotional or physical pain everyday. I left him for the second and last time last week. I’m early in recovery. I have him blocked so he couldn’t get back in my head. The trauma bond feels like I will die if I’m not with him, though the reverse is much more likely. These videos help validate my decision. Thank you, Richard.

[elainelee]

I was murmuring “covert narcissist” one second before your naming them. High level of Neuroticism is their distinctive feature, (particularly in the form of frustration) higher than their overt counterparts. Overts are quite prone to anger as well.

[fribersson]

Excellent take. I’ve noticed the fake empathy, empathy towards concepts but none for real people. And the contempt: oh my… “I’m an empath and better than you!” 🤦🏻‍♂️ Yes, the simmering violence. Either words or constant “ticking time bomb”. Great video 👍🏼

[bredaspacapan]

True empath doesn't talk about being an empath, true empath you observe and you can feel them right away, they have an energy that is truly different and you always feel relaxed around them and pulled to them... they also rarely complain and just do what must be done - for a person or a group or whoever/whatever to make them feel good, acknowledged, accepted, loved etc... The presence of an empath is felt with the 6th sense... Hopefuly i make sense with what i wanted to say 😬✌️

[pamelaprivette]

Perhaps a non-clinical definition---YET SO VERY REAL! Any person who is intuitive (which empaths are)---and uses their intuition to exploit, manipulate, and control others, FOR THE DELIBERATE, CALCULATED PURPOSE OF HARMING THEM---is a dark empath, in my book. I was raised by such a (psychotic) person and I know it is VERY real! I'm glad you have made this video to make people aware of this fact!

[martefact]

I was only today reflecting on the very idea of the Narcissitic 'Slight' in the context of the fragile N - how it forms and how it manifests. In my experience when these particular folks are 'slighted' they tend to find ways to mete out punishments - almost under the radar.

Its amazing how important it is to take notice of the feelings you get when these weird covert attacks come upon you. They can be --- and often are so subtle and so inverted as to appear to be generosities granted to you by virtue of their - well - 'Virtue' really .

But you will always have a gut sense of dissonance. Something will feel 'off' and the memory of that moment will remain - like a lingering odor in your emotional memory - and in my case often a very vivid recollection of the setting for whatever is meted out in covert vengeance. The dissonance for me was usually born out of witnessing the proffered pseudo-care and feeling like I'd just been robbed or violated at the same time.. A very odd but very distinctive feeling, but consistent across more than a few people of this ilk I had in my life.

An example of the very common under the radar attack in the form of narc-jargon is for a fake apology using the words..."I'm sorry you feel that way'". The first time I heard those words and watched them pass across the gnashers of people who slid them out at me like a verse from some narc bible, I remember the sensations I felt. I had no mind or logic to apply to the words or the meaning - just a sensation of - I suppose - dissonance. I heard the word 'sorry' and 'feel' and then experienced a weird sensation of shame and blame coming through me. Staying on the lookout for those sensations has become my baseline MO with all humans now. Glad to report I am now invincible!

When you gather and collect those veritable time warps of very peculiar ways in which these people get their daggers out under the table at you, it becomes a really obvious, and frankly tragic condition of conduct to behold.

Once you see that picture of dots of experience all joined up, there is a magnitude of relief and growth that is truly liberating.

Listening to this little video warms the heart of my knowing of the skills and resources I now have. Because I put in the hard graft to look for the dots to draw that true picture more times now than I would be comfortable sharing. But hey - Never too late for freedom I say!


I say with these people - collect some dots of sensation to form a map which is sure to help you navigate a way out of that trap! You might not be able to explain the sensations yet but when you have collected a few you start to see patterns emerge, and then you see it is really not about you at all. And there - is your exit strategy right there!

Just my very long tuppence ha'penny worth. :) The topic is very current for me atm.

[marcginthed]

It’s not narcissist vs narcissist- the narcissist makes the empath feel dark - that’s what it is

[sunnyd]

I'm a dark empath, though I have no abusive history. I was raised very well and I have a loving family. However, I started to realize around childhood how different I was since it never bothered me that I had no friends. I tried, but people bore me terribly. I just can't care. The idea of true love and true companionship is very romantic and appealing to me, but I could never get that close to people; I've tried. However, I'm very aware of how people tick, and I'm great at appearing "on their side" or orchestrating a positive light about me to earn sympathy, pity, or recognition to get something out of people. I don't go out of my way to hurt anyone, but I do recognize the great potential to mess someone up if I'm threatened in just the right way.

[tomcanham]

I am so fascinated with this because I am a dark empath; not only this, but I recognize now that I AM this way because (of course) of my mother. My mother was much more covert in her dark empath traits; she "presented" better, if that makes sense. Mine are almost entirely in my head; they are "in potentia." But I do know this: I do not want to be like that evil person, so while learning about this term "dark empath" fills me with dismay, because I am *finally* (trust me, I've been torturing myself with "what manner of fucked up thing am I?" for DECADES, now) seeing what I am, and... I don't like it at all... I also feel a sense of relief for having a term for it. It's alarming to me, also, that it seems like the psychotherapy industry treats "dark empaths" as a kind of bogeyman. From what I can see, narcissism, psychopathy, sociopathy -- these are all just normal human variation, right? Some people are more self-centered than others, but that, by itself is not unusual. And similarly, some people are able to "disconnect" from feeling the suffering from others... but, that's not unusual, either. Anyone with more than a superficial knowledge of psychopathy knows that there's a big difference between being able to take a beat between seeing someone else suffering, and feeling that suffering (psychopathy). Similarly, anyone with more than a superficial knowledge of sociopathy knows that EVERYONE feels schadenfreude from time to time, but that's a far cry from pulling the legs off insects, or sadistic rape/torture/murders. Meaning, that -- if you twist all of us enough, we can "go dark." The Milgram Experiment showed that. And empathy is the same... sometimes we call it "emotional intelligence" but it's the same thing; some people are just better at it than others. Empathy is just sociopathy's dark twin -- it feels the pain of others and wants to make it stop; sociopathy is feeling the pain and *liking it*. Again, all spectrums, all normal human variation!

So why would it scare anyone, let alone trained professionals, that there are people who are "exceptional" in all of these spectrums? When I had an IQ of 173 measured, and I learned what that meant (including the history of racism and sexism in the Stanford-Binet scale that IQ was on), I rapidly came to the conclusion that it just meant... "more." More of all the same stuff that makes us human: great compassion and empathy, but also the capacity for immense cruelty -- hurting others simply because it *felt good*. Similarly, it seems like anything I put my hand to -- especially things that take *rational thought* -- I just seem to effortlessly master. Whereas things that take more... soft skills? Like patience and discipline -- you know, like proving any of this on paper ;) -- those I suck donkey dong at, because, I think, I was never basically forced to develop these abilities. I could coast by on being "smart." But if my family has a STRONG shared trauma history of narcissim, psychopathy, sociopathy, but also deep, "high IQ-based empathy"... I don't know how else to describe my folks! And my entire life has felt like a struggle to keep those traits in me from "going dark" and really starting to hurt people. But still, simply normal human variation. High IQ simply means "more" -- so apparently, that means... "dark empath, " now?

In a bygone age, we used to just use words like "evil, " but it seems we've lost that courage. I mean, that word is wrong, too; I am simply "more." But -- "evil" feels easier to memorize than "dark empath."

[baronhelmut]

Its wrong. Its wrong its wrong. A dark empath is not an *abusive* personality. I cannot stress this enough. They are a niche product of an injust society. Dark empaths have learned soon in their lives that psychopaths, narcissists and machiavellians have a natural advantage over non-dark triad members. They consider this a great problem, which they aim to fix. A dark empath is emotionally detached from you if he has determined somebody to be *abusive* in nature. They care very much about people they have determined to be of good intentions. But as soon as they find another dark triad member, they unleash everything they mimic from other dark triad members of their past. They are literally the cops of the dark triad. By bumping all 3 dark personality traits to the brim they gain the upper hand over the bad members of the dark triad.

[pickle]

This new perspective helps me see my ex and his family in a little different lights, and has brought a few things to my attention..about them, and myself as well. 🤔🤔🤔
Thank you for time and thoughts Richard. ❤👏

[BrianVanClough]

The thing that gets me is the whole "we are perfect and they are the one with the faults that we should be worried about". No one is perfect and I can't help but see myself in any "bad" traits people reel off about others. BUT I feel thats quite healthy. If I'm conscious of how I may be detrimental towards others I feel I'm less likely to subconsciously be a hinderance to others. YES I'm not perfect but at least that gives me the scope for improvement individually. I do aim and want the best. Sorry if this comes off as defensive, I'm trying to learn :)

[IndigoEighty]

As a recipient of ongiong narcissistic abuse (co-parent), I can identify with at least two aspects of the dark empath, being emotionally detached, hypervigilent at mapping people, albeit signs of PTSD as well. I've often asked myself objectively how many aspects of fragile narcissism I display. These lines often become blurred when one is consistently on the receiving end of such behaviour. I'd love to see more of your insights on how to deal with narcissistic abuse when in a co-parenting dynamic or unable to extrapolate oneself completely, although much of your content has addressed that already. As always, thank you 🙏

[stregadisalem]

I think this is me except the physical violence. Lots of shame, more ego than we let on, displaced resentment, we overthink everything, passive aggressive, emotionally numb. It’s hard to find a balanced way to place boundaries or be assertive. We do share some traits with covert narcissist but I don’t think we manipulate the way narcissists do.

[wrrryyyyy]

Yes, the anger and vengeance part is spot on

[EvilMinds]

0:42 I cannot relate more, I'm highly empathic but completely in a cognitive way, I don't really care for them and feel their emotions but I understand what they are going through, and I crave attention but I'm socially awkward and kind of anxious but I get along and sometimes dominate and sometimes don't

[The_Kiosk]

My mom was a covert narcissist and I have some but not all of these traits. The rage I experience, if I do experience it, is typically a slow burn or internalized disappointment more than anything else. It's hard to avoid becoming what's been imprinted on me. Even earnest attempts feel like deceptions to me.