The 5 core elements of the dark personality

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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.

THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.
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I love how bluntly she puts things. I think that's what helps me feel how genuine she is. Said it before, will again: her videos have helped me recover from my own narcissistic abuse.

mariastevens
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My 5 things I believe that are "D" dark personality.
1. No emapthy
2. Causing pain or strife where there was none or people who got along before in a family or friendship.
3. Getting pleasure from others pain. They get energy when others are fighting because of them or are confused or upset. They like chaos.
4. They take their masks off behind closed doors who they were outside the home is NOT the same kind, helpful, understanding person inside the opposite.
5. They love power & control over others and use money, manipulation, chaos, bullying, demeaning attacks etc...to try to over power others. They like dependancy not freedom & independance.

antoinettevazquez
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The rules don't apply to them... This is a very important point. They do a lot to believe the rules don't apply to them.

yomofoindahouse
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I wanted to cry when you explained "D". You described someone very close to me who has estranged me because I wasn't compliant with their "personality" needs. I have been in denial for a long time due to the familial connection I have with this person. Now that you have broken the "D" traits down, I know I can't deny this person's character or tactics anymore. It's the saddest form of relief I've ever felt and it is the toughest truth I've got to accept.

dontbeadick
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5 core elements of the dark personality:
1. Callousness
2. Sadism
3. Vindictiveness
4. Narcissistic entitlement
5. Deceitfulness

natasaprot
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Thank you for being a therapist who does not see the word "bad" as a dirty word! Some therapists actually say "nothing is good or bad it just is what it is."

brightbite
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Lack of empathy and selfishness are SO spot on. I have never met someone so willing to help other people (because it got him that ego boost) and at the same time be SO selfish and unempathetic towards those close to him than my STBX is.

christinen
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Just to make you laugh, my brother once got my mother a book on anger management and she threw the book at me like a tomahawk! She was clearly listening and very receptive to input!

tedstephenson
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I would have saved myself from misery had I have gained the wisdom that I have learned from Dr. Ramani during the early 90s. But better late than never

johnayala
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Paused.
Five guesses:
1. Poor boundaries
2. Lack of empathy
3. Entitlement
4. Rage
5. Refusal to take responsibility for their actions.

annae
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Entitlement, lack of empathy, dishonesty, greed, revengeful

jean-pierrep
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I always knew my golden child sister had a "dark side". As she grew older, she got more and more cold and calculating. She would use the threat of withholding access to her children to extract money and more from my parents who thought she could do no wrong. She would insult them to their faces and they wouldn't say a thing. When they got older, I guess she got tired of them and wanted a new target so she turned on me. When she started to try to bully me, I told her to knock it off. her response was to withdraw access to her kids and she totally cut me off from her life. It's been over 10 years now and I'm still surprised about how cold and calculating this woman became.

sparkygump
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Understanding and recognizing these patterns has helped me stop the self blame and huge insecurities that made me ruminate almost every hour of the day and night for more than 15 years. This kind of knowledge has made me aware of what hurts me.... and that it's not my fault. Rumination has now turned in to rationalizing my observations and understand how toxic people impact my feelings and thoughts. It's a huge relief and brings the freedom to stand on solid ground in extremely difficult social dynamics. Your knowledge bings the validation that allows me to believe what I see and not doubt myself 24/7. Thank you Dr Ramani, what you do is un-gaslighting me!

musmees
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I always felt that "lack of empathy" and "selfishness" alone were not adequate in describing the horrors that I've experienced with these people, but calousness, sadism, vindictiveness, narcissistic entitlement and deceitfulness DO IT BEAUTIFULLY. Thanks Doctor Ramani.

gaylemontgomery
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So true. Had a son-in-law like this. My daughter went through hell. The scary thing is, is that they can be so charming outside the home. They use triangulation to get others on their side. What disturbs me is that young people are getting influenced by movies/books like 50 Shades of Grey and Anime. Anime seems innocent, but the deeper one gets into it, the more sadistic it becomes.

rcolonn
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My narcissistic, enabling sister (to our highly narcissistic ‘mother’) repeatedly says that she hurts the ones she LOVES because she feels comfortable with them/us. She acts as if she Truly believes this and that it is reasonable. I’m supposed to feel honored that she “LOVES ME” So much!! You really can’t make this sh*t up🤣😠🙃. I’m DONE! No contact for 3 years now/mother & sister. Blissful, Peaceful, Glorious! Take your life back. Yes, you CAN do it 🌿🌷🌿🌷🌿

deepviolet
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I still get physical symptoms when I listen to Dr R explaining something that I went through and the devastation it caused in my life. But I have to listen because in a strange way it self soothes me.

britsuelamphere
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In most workplaces, these are the personality disorders running around: 1) Toxic narcissism/sociopathy in those with power & 2) Passive-aggression in those w/o power.

yarnarrutor
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My comments to this video:
I did just what Dr Ramani mentioned
I took a good look at all the narcs I have been exposed to and sorted them out and then put them away in suitable drawers.
I then called a garbage collector who picked up All drawers and off they want
My fantasy sometimes gets the better of me but it worked for me.
Best from Stockholm

leegorringe
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Thank you Dr. Ramani for confirming that it can be tricky to identify the “Ds “ ! My ex was a master of damage control. Whenever I came close to identifying him for what he was ( POS ), he would marched right in with grandiose gestures of kindness and humility ! They are great pretenders !

matilda