Avoiding a Difficult Conversation Because You’re Afraid of Their Answer? (Matthew Hussey)

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Sometimes we avoid speaking up about what we really want with a person because we’re afraid we will “make waves” in the relationship.

We come from a place of fear and anxiety. “What if me telling him I want something to be different makes him walk away altogether?” we think to ourselves.

So we ignore the conversation and silently suffer. But then nothing gets better. We just put off the conversation for another day while time keeps moving on.

If this is you, this video is for you.

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[ztipsamme]

The best advice I’ve ever gotten was from my mom. She said “If it’s the right person you’re not afraid. You’re not afraid of difficult conversations, fighting etc because you know you’ll find a solution together”. That right there is how I knew that I had found the right person.

[stayhappylittlemermaid]

If you lost it, it's because you're meant to find something better. Trust, let go, and make room for what's coming.
-Mandy Hale

[nicoleonfeels]

Expressing your needs does not make you needy - you are standing up for yourself to get what you deserve.

[StrippedDownPodcast]

“Everything’s all good, until you start making waves” - I felt that.

[samanthasstars]

“You may find yourself grieving the love you thought you lost but instead, you should be relieved to have lost the reality you had.” This is everything ❤️

[watergoddess]

If someone is not willing to have a conversation, if you are scared to have a conversation in the first place, that is a red flag. Fear is something we make up. We cannot lose that which is meant for us. If it's a good relationship, there are no scary conversations.

[SamElle]

Id like to think that if you have those difficult conversations and find out that the person you are dating can't meet your needs, you're one step closer to finding the person that is a right fit for you. The right person will meet your needs and be willing to work something out so you feel secure

[justjesani]

I love when you say having the conversation doesn’t ruin the reality, it ruins the fantasy. We keep all the situations in our heads and all the out ones and that fear, paralyzes us but, practicing saying what you want helped me stay in the present of what the relationship ACTUALLY is!
Needed to hear this Matthew. I do this ALLL the time.

[s.andrade]

I had this exact conversation last fall. Didn’t get the outcome I wanted, but I prepared for the worst. After being upset for a bit for the fantasy and “what could’ve” been I felt SO empowered, strong, and heightened self-worth having communicated what I wanted and leaving when it couldn’t be delivered. They weren’t the right person, and it gives me more time to find someone who is!

[inactivated]

I wish I could tell this to my younger me. I love 'the fantasy element' part. You are not losing a relationship, you are losing a fantasy. How true...

[IremTekin]

I let go of my boyfriend because he didn't want to understand my needs, i lowered my standards and desires just to make the relationship work and I realized that I was angry and sad more than I was happy. I let him go one and half years ago and I am single now. I am extremely happy with the decision I made and so content with my single life. The next time, I won't stay too long in a situation that makes me really uncomfortable. So anyone who is in the same situation, your needs are valid and valuable, listen to your self, be good to yourself and if your partner doesn't care about your needs just go to your own way. A better relationship with yourself is more important than an unpleasant relationship with someone who makes you feel miserable.

[UrUrbanRockstar]

Choose YOU! If you don't choose you, why would you expect someone else to? Last summer, I was in this same exact situation. Things ended with this conversation & it hurt. Honestly, as much as I liked him, I couldn't imagine still going out with him now & making all the sacrifices while accepting his lackluster efforts.

The right person makes the difficult conversation easy, or at least, fruitful. And guides you to a path you haven't imagined, that will be beneficial for both of you.
Thanking the universe that I am at such a point in my life that I finally met that one man that enables me to confidently say this.

[WolfRain]

Omg Matthew, your timing is simply impeccable. Kinda scary in a way, but definitely most welcome. Thank you 😄

[oooUtube]

This is so true. I have had to do it few times. Just recently in fact. It's so very painful, but i know, at the same time, there's a sense of self respect and empowerment you get from doing it. The alternative is much more painful and harder to recover from.

[bsparkles]

I just realized that I began doing this a few months ago... not the negative things... the positive ones! 😇 I’ve cried a lot of tears bracing myself for the worst outcome knowing I’m a survivor with a tender heart and had the conversation. It was amazing to see the man in front of me be astounded that I couldn’t read his mind! He was making plans for us and putting things in place for a future together!! Love is an amazing thing when people stop being afraid. He was as nervous to talk to me as I was to talk to him! 🙃 We are BOTH working on communication 🥰🤓

[lindakitten]

My guy was flaky just like that and I finally called it quits. Couple couple of months later he said he regretted ignoring me and I’m giving him another chance.He admitted that he does not know how to do this. . So far he’s doing very well but now I am not afraid to walk away if he falls back to his old patterns, And I won’t wait months to do it.

[effygram]

I did this recently. I faced my biggest fear and even though it didn’t go as I hoped it would I feel proud of myself and I’m not afraid of rejection anymore. I think this is one of the greatest videos you’ve ever made.

[RachyNoodleNest]

I had the conversation after watching this video. He said he didn't know what he was feeling right now. I'm pleased that I spoke to him as it highlighted his lack of interest and I was able to move onto the next.

[kjx]

I had the conversation when my gut was telling me to which was after 2 months of consistent dating/communication. At the start I wanted to be sure we were both looking for the same thing, a meaningful relationship, however after asking where we were at during the talk he admitted he had issues/wounds that needed therapy, that he was a self confessed player with women and he knew he was going to eventually hurt me and break my heart Thank goodness I had this conversation, and I listened to my gut. I cut things off immediately, I imagine he would’ve strung things out for months longer enjoying the benefits where my feelings would’ve intensified whilst he was still out shopping!