STOP Being Exploited - How to Deal with Disagreeable People | Jordan Peterson Motivation

What are disagreeable people like?

They're tough-minded, they're competitive, and they won't do a damn thing they don't want to do. They're also likely in a predatory aggression state (dominance behavior).

So, beware! Learn to stand up for yourself, speak the truth, and engage in conflict, even if it's the only way.

#JordanPeterson
#PursuitOfMeaning

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[PursuitofMeaning]

*HINT: You can get for FREE the audio version narrated by Dr. Peterson himself if you sign up for an Audible Trial.*

[jackgarcia]

My favorite Jordan Peterson quote:

“Don’t be afraid of what you’re going to say, be afraid of what you’re not going to say”

[gersomvanslooten]

Despite being male, I’m a highly agreeable and conscientious person. This video has come at just the right time, because I’m starting to realize that I am in a steep dilemma when it comes to my work and social life. I keep postponing addressing it, because I’m afraid of conflict, but more and more I realize I have to face that conflict.

[roar]

I’m highly agreeable and conscientious but I think it’s important to have boundaries in order to avoid exploitation as I have been exploited. It feels like going against my nature but after so long of being taken advantage of you just need to start standing up for yourself no matter how hard it is.

[jimosullivan]

One of the best things that JP said which helped me a lot is...'Don't talk to people who don't want to listen'.

[oliviapetrinidimonforte]

One can be polite and very blunt. That is called diplomacy: the art of stating the truth, while keepi g the peace.

[TheShredtube]

Conflict is fine. Beware of those who start Conflict for their own amusement, validation, or quest for a gotcha moment

[fred]

I had an ex like this, who was VERY disagreeable. She was impossible to live with. Stubborn, and constantly trying to dominate the relationship, would never admit to being wrong. Always looking for drama or stirr up shit at any given time. Was like walking on eggshells around her 24/7. Thank God it's over.
I actually feel sorry for her in a weird way. She's gonna have a hard time finding someone that will accept that behaviour. And if someone doesn't accept it, they will just argue constantly anyway. Can't imagine living like that ever.

Her career was great though, so they obviously thrive in certain conditions work wise. But it's devastating on a close relationship. Work/money won't matter much if you push everyone away from you.

[mgibbons]

As a person who grew up enmeshed, gaslit, and scapegoated, I am utterly fascinated by personalities, boundaries, and the lengths to which people will go to avoid conflict.

It seems like one permutation of my "healing" from past trauma is that I've become much more disagreeable...or perhaps it is simply a matter of having boundaries and being more authentic.

[bye-]

I just had argument with my sister, she never turned up for a appointment.
Didn’t even ring to say she wasn’t turning up.
She does this constantly to my family, I told it was extremely rude.
She just left, didn’t even engage with me.
I’m glad I told her the truth.

[williamfriar]

“Kindness is a weakness to be exploited.”

—the World

[willow_pillow]

Treat the blunt people blunt, and observe the reaction.
They are the ones who scream the highest.

[SteeleMagnolia]

This has always been my issue - too agreeable. Been told by so many that I was too nice. It blatantly explains why I've had such a difficult time in life, keeping the waters smooth to avoid conflict with an ex narcissist husband, coworkers, and employers.

Jordan's comment on being a middle-aged female with high agreeableness was spot-on, an being a mother to five adult children I see so clearly now why I am like this. An employer once told me that I needed to grow devil horns, lol. He was right.

[kens]

Looking back life ( over 80 years) makes a lot more sense. I used to fire 3 people before lunch because firing was the right thing for them. They needed to do something that they could become successful at because they weren’t going to be successful with my firm. The problem I had was that my superiors liked what I produced, and I was very successful, but didn’t particularly like me. I did not like and was not good at politics. I found that I was best at owning my own business, even though I went broke 3 times before I became successful. Thanks so much

[buckwheat_flower]

most of the times these "agreeable" people actually come from abusive families - where the conflict was always so high, and everyone's expectations of them was always so high without any emotional investments -that they actually grew up believing their opinion never matters and no matter what, they will be targeted and bashed for disagreeing. They never really grew up to be a free independent person who can decide on their own about things. I myself am one, and currently still living w my family after a failed abusive marriage. All i know is i tried my best - but i never really Mattered to anyone. Everyone got upset the moment i dont agree. Being agreeable and avoiding conflict is not a bad thing- just dont be a doormat. Speaking up for yourself sometimes is necessary. If you're out of words then just grunt and leave- that's the least amount of response any disagreeable asshole deserves.

[LivingConsciously]

This is exactly why so many people are on anti depressants right now. It's the culture to have everyone compete and be the same. To force things and tell you you're not enough. We don't need to force people to do something or tell them who they are. Instead of your friend telling people who they are in his eyes, ask them, what do you want? What is your passion? What makes you get up in the morning. No judging, just asking and finding out their qualities. People need to know how good they are. They need to know they are not broken and have the power to improve. They need to be taught about their power. They need to find their way and to be taught how. Everyone has this power, no exceptions.

[joseandrada]

In the last few years I finally learned to defend my boundaries, the problem I have now is that I just don't care who attacks me, I'll comfront them fearlessly, sometimes to fearlessly

[jacobwinn]

I’m agreeable and I am working on moderating it. I win at being more assertive and disagreeable at times, and then there are times I’m caught off guard and revert. My boss even told me he knew I was a people pleaser and I need to get past it. Hurt like hell being seen as one so clearly. I need to stand up for my needs so will be going into conflict tomorrow.

[yoya]

Britain suffers from a pandemic of passive aggression, which is the shadow side of agreeableness. It's a society that is two faced, hypocrisy, cloak and dagger and all things covert, all because of maintaining an image a facade of politeness. By contrast Americans are more direct. Perhaps the only advantage they have.

[lumanross]

This hit so close to home that I'm pretty sad about it. Hearing it explained this way has given me a lot to think about and reconsider as I am a agreeable person.