How To Have Difficult Conversations | Mel Robbins

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How do you handle having to face a difficult conversation? Most of us try to avoid them altogether.

But when we do that, we miss prime opportunities to get what we want, connect, and learn something about ourselves in the process. In this video, I teach you the four techniques I use that can help you improve your communication skills. Using them will help you build your confidence and improve the chances that you reach your desired outcome.

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[Dipwad]

Refresher:
1. Acknowledge responsibility
2. Define outcome
3. Listen and validate
4. Restate the outcome

[christinecarlos]

NOTES:
Untangle your emotions from the need to have this difficult conversation.
1) Acknowledge your responsibility. Be accountable.
2) Define the outcome (the objective of the conversation) that you wanted in the first place. Always go back to your objective.
3) Listen & Validate the person. Hear where they're at.
4) Restate the outcome. Keep talking until you hit the outcome.
5) Bonus: Rehearse w/ a friend first
Difficult conversations comes down to one important thing--- the ability for you to separate your emotion about doing it from the things that you actually you need to talk about & the outcome you want to cause.

[angelammoreno]

I wish I would have seen this a couple of days ago, I just had to speak to one of my employees that is struggling with their productivity. This is great and I will definitely be using this. Thanks Mel!

[basetsanarabaji]

I’ve always been a passive and passive aggressive person. Watching this video has taught me a lot about myself and why most of my relationships end bed. Thank you very much Mel.

[danbleumer]

Clear, legitimate, good advice. Keep on keeping on Mel. This is the kind of advice that will help bring society back to being rational again. One step at a time.
Thank you Mel.

[carladulaney]

I have 4 adult children and 1 seventeen year old and I have been noticing that he is totally different from all of the rest.  Having the difficult conversations with him, are so much harder than they were/are with the others.  This is helpful!

[whigan]

There’s a reason why you’re at the top of my YouTube search😤👌

[Janet]

These are the kind of life tools we should have been taught in school. I wish more people sought information (like this video) on how to handle difficult conversations instead of giving excuses for why they avoid it and/or handle it badly. We all have to engage in difficult conversations at some point and often times they are on important topics so might as well learn and handle it in a thoughtful way. We owe the other person that, as well as ourselves. The tools are out there and easily accessible with the internet. Thank you for this clear, informative video. Great tips!

[gemmariser]

I was frantically googling “how to have an uncomfortable conversation” and this was the first video that came up . It is exactly what I needed to hear this morning. Thank you so much !!!

[celeanor]

Thanks Mel. I'm in the process of preparing for a difficult conversation with my managers. I was promoted nearly six months ago, and despite learning so many skills and growing considerably in this new role, I'm burnt out and exhausted from living and working the way I am and have hit a serious wall. I'm going into the conversation with the hope that they will offer me a part time role. This has been a huge decision and something I've thought over considerably, but I know if I don't have this difficult conversation another year will go by of poor health and living somewhere I don't want to be. There's a high chance they won't be able to offer me this, so I know this conversation could become extremely uncomfortable as I'm going to stand firm in my decision to not work like this any longer for my health's sake, even if that means stepping down from my current promotion. Your videos are excellent as always and I will be using these tips.

[Hayden]

Mel Robbins is awesome. She's like the tough aunt everyone needs to have.

[mrsdrhux]

I honestly can thank you enough for creating this video. I have been really struggling to be be able to communicate tricky conversations with my partner for 15 years now, and usually choose the easy option and avoid it altogether until it weighs on my conscience enough to talk about about it and by that point it’s always a huge issue, and I have been trying to bring up my thoughts early and build myself up to tell him something, to find it wasn’t such a big deal after all.
I also tend to slip back into my old ways and have been trying to find help online as well as with my counsellor to help me break the cycle of why I behave this way, but never know what to actually type into you tube to find the content that fits.
Thank you so much for giving me the building blocks to have better conversations, open up and broach subjects I find difficult. X

[achieving.excellence]

There is an epidemic of people that are unwilling to have uncomfortable conversations... so true. The problem with this is that the issues usually get worse if not dealt with. It is not easy but can be done with respect.

[nadiaschwican]

Thank you so much for these precious pieces of advise! You are a generous person who share fondamental principles with concrete exemples that help us to behave as mature adults in our relationships. You are a guide in my life.

[marianafuciac]

Oh my God! you’re so amazing. Thank you for helping us. I’m so lucky that someone like you exist.

[maranofan]

You’re a legend! Thank you for doing what you do and setting an example that we can switch our careers and be employment chameleons..

[Cbeard]

Ms Mel Robbins… simply validating could drive someone crazy who sees through your just talking. Get to know their actual point and perspective. Simple steps

[lolimsquidward]

I have severe anxiety and this really helped me talk to my mom about service animals!

[hlucienne]

I am sharing this w someone I spoke w today who is preparing for a very difficult conversation w her boss!

[TheNiknuks]

I really like the validation part, I find it very helpful.