Getting Ignored, Stood-Up or Left Can Trigger Trauma Symptoms

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If you were abandoned as a child, you may be haunted as an adult by fear of abandonment and intense emotional reaction when anything FEELS like abandonment (even when you are the one who leaves). In this video I explain how the feeling of abanondment an trigger emotional, physical and cognitive symptoms of CPTSD.
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[ignasmaciulis]

Oh gods, I just love how you described a CPTSD flashback as physiological hell - very accurate to what a person is feeling! You should use this more!

[tc]

My fear of rejection and abandonment are ruining my life..rewiring these things isn't easy

[jules]

My mom used to do the silent treatment on us when she was angry. We would start to beg her to talk to us, but she'd hold off as long as possible, letting it act as a punishment. I'm therefore very sensitive to feeling like I'm being ignored, rejected, or excluded, especially in social situations with peers, colleagues etc. It brings up a lot of feelings of being lesser than, abandoned, and anxiety. so I appreciate this video because it's something I'm becoming more aware of and trying to work on.

[lynn]

I know that feeling. I go cold all over. I was abandoned at birth in the hospital, then put in foster care. Growing up, my adoptive mom would threaten to sell me if I was being naughty. I believed her! To me, one set of parents had thrown me away…. Why not another?

[hunivan]

I feel like I'm worth nothing, especially when someone is friendly with me but then they slowly begin to see me for who I am. They always abandon me 100%.
Or at least that is how I feel.

[fiction]

The last time my Abandonment wound got triggered, I just felt numb. I thought "I dont need him. Actually, it is quite nice to be single." And after noticing how cold I was feeling towards that man I love, just because he went on holiday for a week 🤣 it dawned on me: crap. I feel abandoned. And my mind blocked it out for self protection, to keep me functioning. Since It is the worst feeling in the world, really. 😅

[TeamCat]

At the very heart of the abandonment is the fear that I’m not worthy.

[TarkMcCoy]

As a child I was rejected by my peers because of autistic (Asperger's) behavior on my part. I have come to realize that (although cruel) it was correct for them to do so, as it protected the "in" group from the deleterious effects of someone who obviously didn't fit in/belong. In the end I learned that isolation was preferable to public humiliation. Loneliness eventually evolved into peace. Life, it's a hell of a drug...

[sarablackwolfdancer]

My biggest issue with being stood up or made to wait longer than expected, is the lack of control over the situation. Or rather the perception thereof.

[rodfrancis]

I remember as an 8 year old, my step dad torturing me at home and my mother returned from work and walked straight pass me to make a cup of coffee in the kitchen and that was my first experience of being abandoned. As an adult I Have experienced bad things but nothing compares to feeling so helpless when my mother let me down as an 8 year old.

[kennypham]

I just noticed that I unconsciously like this channel because I have CPTSD. I just thought that I like her speaking voice. My biggest trigger is my negative thoughts. I had to learn how to think more positively and it helped.

[MrAllstar]

Goodness, finally a therapist that knows the experience themselves most intimately!
That’s why therapy is typically a waste of time, the therapist will be so blasé about the true nature of what it is that you are experiencing that it all just gets lost in translation. I truly wish all therapists had to be fully emotionally whole and mature to practise but that it is exceedingly rare. That would give them far deeper insight into the human condition than just having studied, truly facing your demons is difficult task for everyone and not so widely achieved.

[Stillpril]

This fear is so real. I have witnessed family memebers go completely insane and die alone. It is my worst fear for myself and even worse for my child.

[BlankName]

My fear of abandonment comes from when I was sexually assaulted in the school bathroom by 2 other students when I was 14. I reported it to the school, and I got blamed, while they only got a stern talking to which resulted in them throwing rocks at my head, amongst other demented shit. I got really depressed and quiet, and all my "friends" distanced themselves from me because I was the weird quiet kid. My home life wasn't any better, either. So everyone who I could turn to abandoned me.

[catzee]

Yes, my central nervous system was triggered soooo bad recently from abandonment trigger, and it made me feel like, "once again I am not good enough." This I'm not enough or valued is my biggest trigger. My whole life. Especially when I make the decision, I'm going to be completely myself, and then rejection. Then when I pretend to be something else, still rejection. I am triggered, it's a cycle I can't get out of and comes from being the family scapegoat I guess. I told someone recently that I was dating that I come from a narcissistic family unit and I got dumped after I said that. He asked me, 'well are you a narcissist then?" Not what I expected to hear. I was vulnerable and decided to be real and this is what I got. Oh well, story of my life. Can't be real or upfront with life. You have to pretend that never happened or so it seems. I can't do that, so I guess thats why I'm alone..I don't know, I can't figure this crap out anymore

[Potatoslice]

mixed signaling gets to me badly and if they're avoidant its a dreadful combo... thanks for the validation as always. especially as a guy I feel like fear of abandonment gets treated as *not masculine*.

[Irene-lswf]

With the holidays coming up, I find myself being easily triggered and on edge and just plain jealous of seeing everyone with their families.

[americangirl]

I was used, abused and mistreated by my parents. I absolutely craved any attention from them. I would do ANYTHING to please them in hopes they would accept me and/or give me praise. I was bullied at school and at home. This continued well into my 30’s. They drilled into us (me and my siblings) that we were to be loyal to our family, which was thinly veiled programming for, “you need to be loyal to US!” I had a very rude awakening when I had a huge health scare which had me in/out of the hospital and almost killed me. They not only turned their back on me when I needed them most, but they refuse to talk about it nor am I allowed to speak about it in front of them because it bothers THEM to be confronted with THEIR mortality! 😳🤦‍♀️ I try not to be angry nor disappointed because I always knew deep down, they’d do exactly what they did but I am very angry that they seem to think that I should grovel for my former spot at their feet like a common mongrel. I’ve moved away from them but even a phone call from them makes me feel like I’m still not far enough away. It’s abandonment mixed with anger. 😔

[dorothyharrison]

I completely understand that feeling of poison flowing through the bloodstream!

[christinegraham]

My abandonment wounds really came out during a four month lockdown in Australia during 2020. I had tensions in a longterm friendship and because of confusion I think I misunderstood a friend's need for space as the ending of a friendship. The loneliness of lockdown was terrible and because I reached out a few times for a conversation, she gave me the silent treatment and then eventually ended things. I live alone so the feelings of abandonment were terrible. This is an 8 yr friendship in which there has never been conflict. I'm still trying to get over the hurt.