A psychologist explains how to tell if you’re a narcissist

Clinical psychologist Joseph Burgo Ph.D., author of The Narcissist You Know, explains how to to tell if you're a narcissist and what questions you should ask yourself in order to find out.

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[Jsims]

Did anybody else come here to find out where they stand after watching other videos on narcissistic behavior?

[NyTeSkAi..]

If you are worrying about being a narcissist and don't want to be the cause of harm to others then you most definitely are not a narcissist. You may have some narcissistic traits to address but we all do and aknowledging that you do and wanting to resolve those negative traits proves you not to be a narcissist.

A narcissist would only bother to watch a video on narcissism to accuse another or proclaim that they have no narcissistic traits.

[richpianosinvestmentanaly]

I'm too good to be watching these type of videos

[curly]

I think I might be a narcissist and I don’t want to be one. I didn’t know I was like this until now, I need to try to sort myself out.

[HellonWheels]

The only thing I can say is that I get a bit jealous when people get opportunities I really want, but I get over it quickly and I'm happy for them in the end.

[chasington]

I honestly don't know if I am, I feel on the edge of being a narcissist but im not fully there. I don't want to be a narcissist but I cant seems to figure out how to not have a large ego, it sucks and I hate it.

[nikkirevasmrplus]

I think if one is truly a NARC they wouldn't have cared enough to watch this video. ❣

[JamesFrew]

Eh, I think this is really simplified. A true narcissist wouldn’t acknowledge that they do any of the things stated, and spend all their time trying to prove to others and themselves that they are the opposite.

[e.michelle]

I think that the overuse and trivialization of the terms NPD and narciccist is what has people questioning their behavior nowadays. I have been seeing a therapist for over 10 years on and off, never received a diagnosis of NPD, yet one 20-something calls me a narcissist online and I freaked out about it, read up on it and saw some similarities in my behavior. Now I'm here. Who should I believe: the doctor with 30 years of experience, or some fallible human being who was triggered by a comment I made on Facebook?

Let's remember that NPD and other personality disorders are often the result of trauma, and people don't ask for that to happen to them. It angers me that people act as if someone just woke up one day and decided to engage in behavior that would ruin all of their relationships and affect their emotional well-being. I honestly know that people with these disorders would give their left arm to feel "normal." I sure would.

[yasminea.]

This really hits the spot, but it hurts at the same time. I feel like I lack empathy and the ability to look outside of myself. In and out of familial situations turned toxic, insecure about relationships and where I stand. Manipulative and selfish. I recognize these things but I still haven’t been able to change. I think it is best to make amends with myself, find myself and see who I am so that I can change.

[becausehelivees]

I've been a budding narcissist and it's just hard and it sucks. It's so hard because you never feel peaceful. You always feel like you should be this and that. Your behaviors are destructive to others. On one hand, others without any idea what narcissism is, fall prey to your assumptions and ride onto them. Until such time that your burden and self-absorption builds up. The only way I considered narcissism in my life was when I encountered someone who was more narcissistic than i was. And it was so devastating. They have to be eliminated.

[healingdiscovery]

I do get mad when I see someone really manipulative succeed and have no repercussions. But for the most part, I cheer people on to progress and want everyone to feel like their gifts are valued and appreciated. Just makes for a more productive workplace.

[nomadgrimm]

Ive done so many bad things to people who ive loved and have loved me and i regret it everyday i want to change but lose my way at every fork in the road. I dont know what i am but i want to change if its possible for me.

[dorisw]

I feel like everyone has the ability to be like this in the absence of love... Which is all a narcissist really is, someone that grew up in the absence of love.

[coryw]

Growing up in the foster system, I got used to staying detached from people. I've failed in my relationships and friendships because I was so used to pushing people away. I never received healthy affection or recognition for my accomplishments that I became the center of attention for all the wrong reasons. My childish behavior caused me to insult people, demean my friends, and treat my partners like crap. I own my crap today, and I'm working hard to catch my narcissistic behavior. I'm not sharing here for attention, I'm owning my crap and sharing my realization that I've been a narcissistic a-hole for years. I could say being abused for nearly 2 decades in the foster system caused it, but I had a choice to get help, but instead I created a garbage pile of a life with so much regret I have to live with as my consequence for my own stupidity. And i know that no amount of apologizing will ever repair the damage I've caused toward people who genuinely tried to care about me. I'm learning to accept that as a fact, and it is a difficult pill to swallow.

[grungekookie]

I’m the kind of person who’s really self conscious but I’m also capable of putting myself in anyone’s shoes and feel their emotions. If someone had a bad thing happen to them or problems I would feel like it’s happening to me, even watching movies is hard bc it feels like the things there happen to me. My emotions alone overwhelm me so when I do that I feel so horrible. So lately what I’ve been doing is completely detaching myself from others, I don’t want to feel what others feel anymore I only want to feel my emotions and to worry about my own problems. Since then I’ve felt so much better but now people call me selfish and narcissistic.

[stephenstout]

I feel like when I was a kid (0-12yo) I was an empath clinging to life, but my bullies in school and even my family (13-19yo) saw it as a common sign of a narcissist and started treating me like one with no hesitation which projected all of the things I didn't know onto me and pushed me into it. I feel like I'm still an empath now but have no friends or family willing to say virtually anything to me. It feels like their struggle to hide the truth from me and talk about me behind my back is gaslighting.

[CatharsisByProxy]

I think we all have the potential for narcissistic tendencies by virtue of our own humanity. I think where we draw the distinction between *displaying narcissistic behavior* sometimes and actually *being a narcissist* is the degree to which those traits influence your life over time.

Like, if you're in your mid-20's dealing with poor self-esteem, poor relationship choices, and frankly just have a lot of maturing to do still, then yeah. You're gonna act like a self-absorbed jerk sometimes. At least until you eventually sort yourself out enough to mature and settle into into your adulthood.

But if you're a 45 year old man with absolutely no concept of personal responsibility and hold a massive sense of victimization from nearly every person you've ever been remotely close to in your life, then maybe that means the ability to mature just isn't there. Maybe that's a narcissist. Someone who cannot see that the common denominator in all of their disasters *is themselves.*

Just ask yourself, how many things have been ruined for me in my life? And how many of those things are my fault completely? How many are someone else's fault completely? How much of my misfortune can't be blamed on anyone at all? How easy is it for me to accept in my own heart the fact that *I alone am responsible for the way I perceive and respond the world around me? Can I honestly say that I'm at peace with the fact that there is life nothing in this entire universe that I can claim as mine to control in some way? Nothing at all, except for maybe myself.

It's hard to be a human. It's even harder to calculate just *how* human we are, or *what kind* of human we are. At the end of the day it doesn't matter what someone else says you are or even what you believe you are. All that matters is what you actually are. I get it. I can understand the narcissistic urge to tune out at the first sign of something real.

I can't say I'm actually capable of doing that... I'm just saying I can *empathize* with *wanting to do that.*

But that right there is just where my problem lies. Isn't it?

[Rizalreez]

I get jealous when people that do bad stuff gets everything in life..
They get perfect health, good job, a love life, money..
Just to put my mind and emotions at ease, I just have to accept that those things are not meant for me to have..

[Diaming]

I honestly am very close for being a narcissist. I hope I am only just very self-centered, nothing more. I feel remorseful for my wrongdoings, but Idk if it's only just to not lose reputation or part of my moral code. That difference scares me.