A clinical psychologist explains how to cope with social anxiety in conversations

“We can still do the basics of connection even when triggered”

You have to expect your social anxiety to get triggered sometimes. Hoping you'll get to a place where you never feel threat and the need to protect sounds great, but it can get in the way of progress. The answer is to anticipate that you will be triggered, and then have a clear plan of what to do. I encourage patients to accept the feeling, but not to give into the motivation to escape or shut off to protect - this increases anxiety over time, and actively prevents connection. It's completely possible to socialize well when feeling uncomfortable. To do so, externalize attention away from the self by practicing intense curiosity, and use fundamental social skills.

We'll talk about:

0:00 - What do I do if social anxiety gets triggered?
0:39 - Accept it, but don't hide or protect
1:30 - You can be anxious and still do the fundamentals of connection
1:50 - Don't try to control the impression you make
2:03 - How to stop being self-conscious by focusing attention externally
3:05 - The basics of communication while anxious

I'm Dr. Thomas Smithyman, a clinical psychologist making videos to help people overcome social anxiety.

This is part of a segment where I share recent insights I've had while treating my social anxiety clients: Clinical Insights. I continue to grow and develop in my model of social anxiety treatment, so I'd like to share that as it happens. I hope that this will be helpful.

QUESTION — Have a question about anything related to social anxiety? Post in the comments section of this video.

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I'm not currently accepting new patients for online therapy.

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📱 Subscribe and Listen to the Anxious in Austin Podcast HERE::

My mission here is to use video to help people overcome social anxiety. Most people with social anxiety never seek help, and those who do usually wait 16 years! Treatment is effective but people don't know about it. I'd like that to change, and I'd really appreciate any help.

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If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call a local emergency telephone number or go immediately to the nearest emergency room.

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Hi Dr. Smithyman
Do you have any advice for treating social anxiety which is based on being a stigmatised minority and fearing being judged for it?