Severe avoidants SABOTAGE healthy relationships

#avoidant #avoidantattachment #dating #dismissiveavoidant #fearfulavoidant #relationshipcoach #relationship #situationship #insecureattachment #attachment #emotionallyunavailable #breakup #discard #heartbroken #divorce

[suhailballim]

The thing I struggle to still accept about avoidants is...'i have a fear of abandonment, so let me go and do everything that will let me get abandoned' wtf that makes no sense🙄

[spiritwanderer]

let the toxic people date each other, that's what they deserve

[Ken-odgc]

I left mine. It was this shitty behavior and she was too much of a coward to discard me; she did the slow fade. After going literally insane trying to reconcile the behavior and words and assorted other shit, I decided enough was enough.

And for those thinking about trying to talk to them, explain their feelings, why they ade leaving, Walk away and don't look back. Here's my noted I decided enough was enough and walked away. No contact. Nothing. Unfortunately I had to interact with her due to a mutual property issue. Despite having not contact for 2 months and not spending any time together for 3 months, she acted like not a damn thing was wrong. WTF??!?!?!?. I decided to try to talk to her about what I was feeling. 5 minutes. That's all. In that 5 minutes she went from denying her behavior to shifting blame to me, completely invalidating anything I tried to communicate, then shut down and turned on robot mode. She had to leave for something else (don't they always), so I asked if we could talk over coffee for sn hour or two in the coming week about this. Her response, "Well if you think it will help you." Again, WTF?!?? I asked if she was even interested in continuing a relationship. She said she would rather move on because she can't handle all the drama and ups and downs. Remember we hadn't even see each other in 3 months and the last relationship conversation of ANY type was 6 months prior when she started the slow fade because she "had so much going on". And even that she had my support with no drama.

So to summarize, even though I cut it off, she had no clue and when asked she wanted to just move on. Despite the fact I in my head I already walked away, just seeing that icy cold, gaslighting, blame shifting, total lack of accountability attitude accompanied by her, finally, discard threw me over the edge. Three days later I attempted suicide.

So forget trying to explain. Forget getting closure. Forget a final "I'm leaving" conversation. Slam the door. Bolt it. Put a burglar bar across the door. Erase all their texts and pictures. Sell or give away anything they gave you. Block their numbers. My example is extreme but I hope people get the idea that avoidants are emotional vampires that will suck the life out of you, sometimes literally.

[enojelmeli]

Spot on yet again. 💯 🎯 Hindsight really is 20/20. But it's better to learn this now rather than never. Thanks Coach!

[FinallyFulfilled]

I broke up with mine after 4.5 months. Love bombed, slow fade away, the same shi# everyone talks about. They are emotional vampires. Get them out of your circle asap. Just use them for sex because in the end, that’s all they can handle.

[jocelynfeng]

Thank you so much, coach. Watching these videos really has speeded up my healing from an avoidant discard

[AristoCat-hh]

It's interesting that these behaviours are similar to why people say "nice guys finish last". Could their be more avoidant women than we first thought?

[shamil_]

Keep em coming, you're a real help.

[rachelatkinsonrealestate]

He says we have a “deep connection”, but his feelings for me are like I’m one of his buddies. WTAF?!? I’ve been in the room. I know what I see. I’m confident that’s not true. It’s just absolutely insane. 🤯🤯

[mjc]

Buddy you nailed it my friend!! 100% TRUTh

[R-SO]

As soon as we planned the wedding meeting for organising the Event she pulled away two days after! Immediate discard, mere three months prior the wedding! What a sh-t show it has been during the the last months!

[gayleneflower]

Coach can you do a video on sexual habits of avoidants? Do they stop when things get too close or just don’t have any drive? Except one nighters and porn? Does “avoidants” mean fearful & dismissive? Thx!

[hwywhdhhdhf]

Cowards😮 there is no excuse for such behavior unless they fall in love with someone else (which they almost never do).

[sierrashaheen]

If the avoidant doesn’t end up discarding you, sometimes the other person in the relationship will leave instead because the avoidant will continue so many avoidant and toxic behaviors over and over again to where the other person can’t take it anymore. If you actually think about it, it’s evil for parents to not give their children love and nurturing because God is love. So the parents not loving their children is doing the devils work and consequently it trickles down to the children and then it’s this repetitive cycle of evilness. Don’t do the devils work. Connect to people, love people, love yourself, and above all, love God. Thanks for your awesome insight.

[SSJavenger]

What if i send this video to my SEVERE avoidant ex gf? And i do mean SEVERE from drug abuse to extreme anxiety to the point of trembling when she was getting emotional and literally verbaly saying that she can't handle this and this is too strong.

[stuffoflife]

Sir I believe I am an avoidant person. You describe every behaviour action so perfect that it reflects exactly as I do them. Please sir I need help, what should I do, how do I get out of this. I want to love the one I felt love towards but don't anymore, what should I do ? How can I stop being this person. Please sir please help, you have videos on avoidant partners but not on how to stop being the avoidant partner. Please help sir, what should I do?

[husky]

But actually anxious people also avoid self reflection and intimacy… by choosing again and again avoiding and narcissistic partners they avoid the intimacy by proxy. And they don’t want to self reflect, that it is absolutely their own choice.