THIS Is Why the Avoidant Doesn't Chase You

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In today's video, Thais Gibson explains why an avoidant (dismissive avoidant) will not chase you. Watch now to learn more about the dismissive avoidant's approach to relationships and breakups, as well as what you can do if you find yourself in this dynamic as Thais provides useful tips and guidance.
To learn more, explore the transformative course, "How to Repair Any Relationship", or "How To Heal From A Breakup" for powerful tools you can begin using immediately on your journey!

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00:00:00 - Intro
00:01:13 - Vulnerability
00:02:33 - Feelings Minus Fears
00:04:00 - Easier Being Alone
00:06:22 - 7-Day Free Trial: How Repair Any RLP
00:07:03 - Lack of Modeling and Understanding
00:08:03 - Shame Wound
00:09:05 - What to Do
00:10:24 - Conclusion

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Hey there! I'm Thais Gibson, and this is the channel where I teach you how to transform your life.

I created the Personal Development School, an online learning platform that gives users the ability to create true and long-lasting change in their lives through personal development courses that are designed to give you a breakthrough in every area of your life, with a 99.7% satisfaction rate.

Our Youtube videos give you a glimpse into this in-depth course content. Much of what you'll learn here is based on your attachment style and how that affects the relationships you have with your family, friendships, and of course, your romantic relationships.

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[ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

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[sifublack]

I chased a woman I was in a relationship with years ago. I learned from that experience that you should never chase ANYONE. If you have to chase them, it means they're running away.

In the years since, I've always pursued, but never chased a woman I had interest in. This taught me to be able to recognize the women who reciprocated my interest versus the ones that didn't do I wouldn't waste my time.

[jaffrey]

"Hidden" reasons or not, after a YEAR of this, I had no choice but to walk away...my sanity depended on it.

[Jenishabadoo]

So..what if you already told them they’re a DA lol..😂 I’m a FA and was like hey I’ve been learning about all this stuff and learned that I’m a fearful avoidant and I bet you’re a DA..would you be willing to learn more about this stuff? And he shockingly said “let me think about it” but never came back to it. That was probably a month or more ago. But our communication has gotten better I’d say. We’re not in a relationship but we’ve tried periodically off and on over the course of oh..30 years. We dated when we were 16, maybe 21, came back together after my husband died and he became single. We’re both in one 40’s now. It’s like we can’t stay apart but something is always “off.” I don’t know if that means we’re just totally wrong..yet something obviously works. It seems confusing for us both.

[r_and_a]

so grateful i discovered before my DA asked me if they should continue to fight for us because my initial reaction was confusion as felt like i'd been the only one but instead reassured them & expressed appreciation at the time then reviewed our relationship through what i'd learned their perspective might be which helped me see the ways they probably had felt they'd "chased" me, etc

i often remember a story thais has shared about DAs being unlikely to ever spontaneously write you a love poem but will ensure you always have your favorite ice cream in the fridge 💜 i get for some that's not "good enough" or whatever & imagine being an FA with c-ptsd plays a big part for me but better understanding how my DA *does* show they care & taking each other into consideration is priceless for me

[lak]

Sick and tired about hearing about Avoidants and how to deal with them, as if there's a snowball's chance in hell of having a successful relationship with them. In probably 99% of cases, there's no hope! I'll have to stop watching videos about Avoidants and move onto something else more fulfilling.

[HustleHabit]

I'm glad you're incorporating more of the importance of realizing when to walk away in your avoidance videos. I've been watching for years, just as a reminder of what to look for and prevent future heartbreak... Avoidants are great when you first meet them, but you have to know when to hold em and when to fold em.

[johnmaus]

This is a good place to learn about the confusing behavior of this attachment style. I have empathy for my ex who was this. I seen one side of her that was such a wonderful person then it would change. We made it 34 years ubtil she walked the final time. I seen a very hurt person but on the other hand hurt people hurt people. Unless a person really decides that becoming vulnerable and with the support and love of a partner they are willing to do the work I feel that the relationship will not develop into a healthy satisfying experience. I wish her well but the experience ended in an indescribably painfull experience. You keep trying harder and harder and lose your personal perspective.

[SirBLM]

We had the attachment style talk and my textbook DA wife thinks she's 100% secure...

[luketimewalker]

Hi! First time I hear you mention the Flaw Finding is a temporary thing until Feelings are back online when the tide of Fears goes out.
I'm really starting to map this all out
Thank You Thais & PDS

[Sara-]

I’m finally walking away from a DA. It’s too painful to keep trying and get nothing in return.

[CihanekPhotography]

What should an avoidant (who knows they are an avoidant and does their best to stop themselves from running away when things are difficult) but their anxious partner is often commenting that they are always doing what is easiest for them, and the anxious want to say “if I did what was easiest for me I would be single, but i stay because i love you even though it’s not easy” but doesn’t say that because it would cause more issues? What should they do? Keep their mouth shut and just shove it down like they do everything else. Say something? If the latter, how do you express it?

[thesicahill]

Hi Thais. Been tuning in to you for a while now. Just want to say how much I appreciate you 🙏

[brokeboy]

I would love to see in the comments section where a avoidant actual made it work with someone. We are looking for any glimmer of hope, but people tend to prove us right so nothing changes.

[afbtube]

Some know themselves quite or very well, so:
What would be the most likely outcome if you send them a link to this video?

[NichieOtani]

read the forbidden book Magnetic Aura on Borlest, and you'll see the secrets they're keeping from us.

[JosehNray]

this video’s take really clicks with some of the things I've been reading in ebook magnetic aura from Borlest

[jensaysmemememe]

I’d love to hear your take on ghosting a DA. Typical and specific to my experience.

I’m a FA, and 2.5 years ago, I ghosted my DA ex. We were trying to reconnect after a 1 year relationship-6 month break up. On top of that, DA was grieving the death of their father, so being supportive was important to me . After a few months, I saw dating apps on his phone. When I asked him about it, he was defensive, said hurtful things . In turn, I people pleased before going silent ( just like in our previous relationship ).

The hurt was too great for me to handle and I just walked away and never responded to his text on plans we had after that conversation. I never heard from him but was told he showed up solo a few times at the bar my ex husband worked at.
We are in our 40s. I have been to therapy to work through this. I occasionally get this feeling to reach out to make peace. This feels like a burden.
Id love your take on this to help me understand and what can I do to bring peace to this . Thank you for all that you do❤

[RyzenShanks]

Even if i want to move on and run away, i can't. We have kids. 😩

[melissa]

Sucks when the man is the avoidant. Men need to be the pursuers! So if I have to pursue a man it makes me feel masculine. Not attractive!