Alexithymia & Autism

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Do you struggle to identify your emotions? Have trouble differentiating between emotions and physical sensations? Don't know how to describe your emotions? You'll definitely want to hear about alexithymia.

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I just wanted to add that I think the empathy thing stems from a mutual lack of understanding between autistics and neurotypicals. All of the autistic people I've ever met are incredibly compassionate and dare I say selfless people, and the myth that we lack the capacity for empathy really needs to go away.

thecraftycrayfish
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I can't always describe how I'm and say "I don't know" quite a bit

crystalokeefe
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How can you tell if a politician is lying?

Their lips move.

garyfrancis
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It’s funny that I’m autistic and I believe my spouse is the one with this trait! I’m very empathetic!! I feel very deeply and strongly myself and for others suffering. Due to learning over time my accuracy at being able to name how they feel (because I feel it myself as I hear them), has improved very much over time. I honestly feel like everything my husband says is my autism is HIM! And he doesn’t understand that in my world I’m constantly being gaslit and feel controlled to not be my natural self, and just fit his idea of the marriage! 😡😔 Us with autism suffer constant ongoing emotional abuse due due having to work so hard to fit others idea of what’s normal... but no one even acknowledges the struggle or even asks if it’s hard to do, or sad, or even against my own gut feelings!!! They just deny coming my way and tell me I’m wrong and have to just come their way. If I bring up anything I’m ‘constantly complaining’ but I can never explain it properly to anyone!!! I melt down very badly if I’m constantly rejected that way. I melt down a lot, especially lately over this.

ESumner
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As I have understood it, alexithymia is still divided into parts. Like I for example am very bad at identifying and describing my own feelings while my imagination is fine. I can also identify other people's feelings very well so emphaty is working.

FYI a mental health professional should ask you "in what way are you alexithymic" or "what alexithymic traits do you have" if you tell them that you have alexithymia. When I first told a professional about it I was a little taken aback by the question. I want others to be prepared and not be baffled like me. It's not nice being baffled.

flikkeringlightz
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There’s this recurring thing in dinners where I see a plate lying on the counter and ask if it’s mine, and dad answers: "no, it’s the neighbour’s." sarcastically.

The first time he said that, I genuinely thought it was the neighbour’s. But he says that practically every time so I learned fast.

m-pc
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Wow - this is a mind blowing lecture. I went thru a long history of being SHOCKED by people being bad while presenting a loveliness in person.
As a child, I was taught that my good behavior was penultimate. And growing up with strict orthodox parents, we were not encouraged to talk about emotional feelings. As far as the parents were concerned - you were either good, bad, or sick.
No wonder I had no idea how to verbalize what I felt about anything throughout the course of my life.
I was a good performer 🤸🏻‍♀️ though, I found out what people expected of me & I gave them what they wanted. -
As time went by, I grew worse and worse on the inside, and I continued to endure great emotional damage bc not only could I not verbalize what I felt, I could not accept - these bad things were done to me.
Somehow - I felt, as long as I deny it exists - it didn’t happen ..
Guess what ? It happened & continued to happen...
It is absolutely vital for a child to be allowed to have feelings & to be taught how to describe these feelings, & to be encouraged to discuss them ( with safe people ).
It is also important to encourage people to have their feelings, bc when a person learns it’s not permitted to have feelings, they will go through life being disconnected from their own body & therefore will not have a working intuition ..
translation : they will be at the mercy of the wolves ..

BarbaraMerryGeng
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I'm usually ok, depressed or excited😳😖 I can't even explain pain well and i feel imma suffer because i can't explain it

sable
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I’m constantly in a state of not understanding what’s wrong and definitely can’t explain it. I know when my feelings are not good or good but I can’t describe them or pinpoint what I’m feeling. I’ll start crying and have no idea why.

budgetforsuccess
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I have never really known how I feel, or how/why other people seem to have feelings or emotions. I always tell people I am “fine” or “ok”. I have to really think about feelings in myself and try to figure out how I feel, based on what’s going on at the minute. Strong exhibits of emotions in others leads me to panic because I don’t really know what to do. This lack of ability to know how I feel has led me to be labeled as non compliant by psychologist and psychiatrists.

lysagreen
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Hi I have a relationship with a man who has asberger. We have been together for 1 1/2 years and it works well. I myself am neurotypical and like to listen to your channel, and also to Paul Micallef. I learn a lot from both of you. We have both had long relationships earlier in our lives (we are 60 years young), but we both feel that we are developing with each other and our relationship is only getting stronger and stronger. Thank you very much for helping me understand when I feel uncertain about what things are due. Sorry if I write a little bad English, but I come from Sweden :) Finally ... we are soulmates despite our differences ❤️

karinstromgren
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People: how are you?
Me: Uh, fine?
Brain, actually: I don't know, am I fine? It is some level of happy bUT--it isn't "happiness", and I'm not particularly "joyful", but I am definitely not "sad". I'm just, 'fine"?? I *am* calm, that's for sure. But, seriously, am I

julietagimenez
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You have the best hair! I’m totally jealous lol.

amber
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I'm at a standpoint of logically understanding emotions vs feeling it.

I made a breakthrough for feeling anger. But before it was all symptoms of heat stroke lol. Now it's just something I can cut on or off.

When it comes to grief and sadness. I have no idea nor see the point. I've only come to understand it as important for my socializing with someone else who is dealing with it and not coming off as cold blooded.

jessely
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I recognize my own and others' emotions almost too easily by feel (and can get caught up in my own or others' feelings) but I cannot feel strongly and use words at the same time, and I struggle to understand others' thought processes, priorities, perspectives and intentions.

katielangsner
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I definitely have this (and aspergers). It mostly stops me from knowing how I personally feel. The best example of this, is a few years back, I suddenly realized that a few more years back, that I was enraged at something (and was physically shaking in anger), but "felt" fine at the time. Also, I've said numerous times, that I don't think I've ever "felt" love, in my life, even though I know people love me, and I have exhibited the actions of love (putting someone else's needs/feelings above my own, essentially.) I've never shed a tear at a funeral, even for my own dad.

However, I can often tell how others are feeling (or I like to think so...)... and as a writer, I can write emotions in my characters, and feel those emotions quite strongly (one recent scene in particular nearly bringing me to tears (eyes watered up, and I got a strange knot behind my heart... don't know how to put words to it...) just formulating the visuals and dialog between 2 characters - while I was at work, and couldn't write any of it down.)

(I also have trouble knowing how I physically feel internally as well... like hunger/thirst, tension, needing to use the restroom... etc.)

NameNotAChannel
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Interesting topic. Thanks for sharing, Stephanie.

AndiKnittel
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When i feel SICK or giddy, i get the impression deep hectic business is affecting me in ways i can’t talk about

gonnfishy
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This video was extremely relatable. I have a lot of issues and do not like imagining that people have bad intentions and even trying will often kick me into an opposite extreme of paranoia.

radioactivegorgon
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Do the test on www.alexithymia.us! It's pretty good.

flikkeringlightz