The Bullying of Autistic Spouses Who Are Alexithymic (emotions-blind)

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[markhutten]

ASD+NT Couples resources:

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[nurseness]

The problem is ASD hubbies expect empathy and understanding when it comes to alexithymia and mindblindness but then somehow can't understand why their wife is detached and no longer seeks intimacy... they bite their own selves in the butt so often!

[abigaildye]

What about accepting NT's emotions? For example, if NT is upset about something that happened during the day, comes home upset, and explains that she's upset about something that has nothing to do with ASD spouse, but then ASD spouse gets angry that NT isn't sunshine and rainbows and says NT is "ruining" the night. Where do we go with that? How do we handle it?

[markhutten]

What is the “double empathy” problem in simple terms? The double empathy problem refers to a breakdown in mutual communication and understanding (that can happen between the NT wife and the ASD husband), and thus a problem for both parties to contend with - yet more likely to occur when people of very differing “brain-wiring” attempt to interact.

[anniebmimi]

I’m getting it more and more. Thank you and, Ouch.
Lol

I am so very exhausted by being a victim of something I CAN’T control.
I CAN learn and grow.

[Sunshineflowers]

My husband seems to have ASD. Our older daughter was born with it too. He has trouble getting along with people and he seems to lack empathy. Our younger daughter who was adopted by us, has bipolar 1 disorder and its been challenging for my husband to deal with her due to her mood swings, her anger, so their relationship has broken down a lot over the years and my husband has gotten burned out.

[nanayh]

I am from Asian background, he is white. One day he told me he wishes i could be a white. So he and his people treat me better. You can imagine how much his word hurt me. But even if i say this is racism, he thinks he is telling the truth without any bad intention.
One the way back to home after miscarriage operation, he was smiling and try to "encourage" me to say "Asian population is too large, its need to be controlled"
（I am not neither chinese nor Indian which are proud of biggest population in the world)
He doesn't understand why i am hurt because in his ASD world "I am telling the truth and have no bad intention, she should be happy"
but this is beyond hurtful, I am destroyed. every few hour I feel tears and screaming comes up like fountain.
I wish I would rather want to hear he has racism intention.