Why do narcissists always want to start over after they constantly mess up?

why do narcissists always want to start over after they constantly mess up?

Welcome my channel! If this is your first time seeing my face or hearing my voice, my name is Lee and I am a self aware narcissist. I have narcissistic personality disorder ( NPD ) and I've been in therapy for my personality disorder since 2017 and it has definitely changed my life because without it, I would have lost everything.

The point of these videos is to help bring awareness from the other side of the narcissistic *buse spectrum. All my videos give perspective on why many narcissists do what they do and the possible different reasons behind them. The victims and survivors get validation and the Narcissists (those that are willing) get to see that you can get help and that you are not alone.

Thank you so much

[ging-a-roo]

Most of the time, they start over with somebody new after they bankrupted you! All they do is abuse and bankrupt a new person.

[sweetoneloves]

The Narcs play this comeback game because they know most of their victim will go back to them. Once they know it does not work on the person they was with, the hate comes out of them

[dianetobin]

My husband keeps telling me I just need to just forgive him so our relationship can get better... I asked him if he wanted a clean slate and the massive smile that lit up his face was so, so telling. There's no remorse there for the past 8 years of emotional abuse. I'm done.

[HoneyBakedHamlet]

I haven't even started this video yet (I got to 'What's going on, beautiful people...') before I paused it.
From my own experience, a lot of the time, the narcissist wants to 'turn over a new leaf', 'clean the slate', when they know you're about to leave and they don't want you to.
They also don't want to be held accountable for their abusive behaviour and 'turning over a new leaf' is another way of conditioning you into not bringing up any issues that aren't resolved because they don't want to resolve them, they don't want to have to deal with them. They want them to disappear and expect you to act like they never happened.
Your own memories and trauma, be damned.
... and if you ever bring anything up, it means that you are harming the relationship and you're a bad person and you're causing the issues and they are the victim.
It's all a way to hoover you into staying because you haven't yet outgrown your use to them.

[NiKeshaFerrell]

I must agree that the emotional debt and bankruptcy analogy was fire!

[nathalievriesde]

Once I was able to look back at the toxic relationship I was in and listen to these kinda videos from a "distance", I realized I was in a upside down world filled with confusion, manipulation and most of the time things didn't make any sense. It's hilarious in a way, back then I wasn't laughing of course. And when there is violence and abuse there is nothing to laugh about. Safety is a serious matter. Thankfully in my case it did not get to physical violence.
The twisted mindset toxic people have though, it is so sad that in stead of crying I just have to laugh now. Most people are their own biggest obstacle in life keeping themself stuck, but when narcisistic traits are included it's a whole other level😵‍💫🤯
Thanks Lee for sharing and making it all more clear to understand!!

[GodiZreal]

I know my ex played video games and he would play certain games so many times just to see all the different ways to win. I'm not a video game. There is no do over here.

[carolynbriggs]

I've been single for 1 year your videos helped me stay strong, , thank you so much

[Morastbiene]

Reminds me of how I asked my narc to clean the slate - by taking responsibility for the damage his actions caused and showing (through actions, not words) that he meant what he said, that he wanted to clean the slate and continue to be friends. Guess how that went, cough...

[recoveringsoul]

He didn't say start over. During arguments, when it was exhausting to me anyway, we'd call a truce just to stop the arguing. He never lets anything go, or get resolved

[sarinkathedemon]

This is so true and feels shockingly relieving when you literally hear your relationship dynamic being called out for what it was.

[exofnarccop]

It's always in the past when it comes to the atmosphere questions but of course Anything I did 20 years ago this game

[recoveringsoul]

Takes an average of 15 times to leave an abuser, not 7. That's an older number.

[faithfulservant]

Thank you for being so straight forward. Been wiping the slate clean for 17;years thinking I'm glorifing God. When really I was not.

[nghiemhien]

Yup, i heard "let's start fresh again, just you and i" before. Interesting how many different ppl could think, say the exact same thing

[martaradecka]

Emotional bankrupcy! So spot on! That 's exactly what has been done by the same person to a couple of people from my circles! Will quote you when using it and you hit a nail on the head here! 🔥💫

[ggenova]

Love the emotional bankruptcy. My ex narc constantly wants to “reset”, but then brings up the past and if I bring up something from 2 days ago they say we need to leave the past in the past all within 5 min. Crazy making.

[xiomyo]

Lee thanks for making these videos. I am going thru trauma due to my husband's narcissism and because of the knowledge and experiences you share on your page, I have learned so much and little by little I feel much more empowered every day.

[ambertaylor]

I'm glad I got to witness your metaphorical moment! That is a good one!

[dite]

Thank you Lee. I had to Narc ex's try to recreate our first date after a major repeated fall out. I was bewildered...I get it now...