Avoidants tend to have PREDICTABLE relationship histories

#dating #discard #avoidantattachment #fearfulavoidantattachment #attachment #attachmentstyle #dismissiveavoidant #heartbroken #insecureattachment #relationship #emotionallyunavailable #dismissiveavoidantattachment #fearfulavoidant #avoidant #relationshipcoach #discarded #divorce #breakup #situationship #attachmentwounds

[bobmccarter]

Not to detract from your message at all, Coach, but I’ve got to stop watching these videos. Everyone’s. It’s just keeping me in a place that I desperately need to move away from. My relationship with her is over, I’ll always think that’s a shame, and I’ll always love her. But continuing to rethink the past and what I might have done differently is anchoring me to that pain.

[balnirokli]

I dont want to meet any avoidants more !

[RyanBlaine-yy]

I have to say that this has been the hardest period of my life going through this with an avoidant. The holidays and both of our birthdays have came and went(2 days apart), but both have been extremely difficult. It saddens me to think that this person may never be happy and I might not either.

[tangerinefalls]

You doing amazing job with your videos. It’s a big help for people. Thanks a lot man!

[LTizzle]

I came to the realization during my avoidant eras that I was willing to connect with any and every type of person like a drug. I offer that people begin to depersonalize the behaviors of the "avoidant" because you may be thinking you were rejected solely because you're secure and emotionally available. One has to consider that you were just a dopamine hit for a neurodivergent and/or psychologically disconnected person. One of many whether friends, family, or partners. It may be more than just "I showed them love and they couldn't handle it." There is also "you were fun for the moment". "You like the same things I like, let's play." Closeness with you wasn't an option not because of fear but simply because of boredom. Personality styles are going to tell you more about the interaction.

Your love is for YOU. It's shared not given. From that perspective, you'll never offer yourself as an external neurotransmitter ever again.

[ndtgznb]

Why do we have to be the collateral damage of these people!?

[amethyst__tarot]

i've worried for a while now and this video confirms it... i'm a fearful avoidant and i want help ❤❤

[tredd]

I ignored the red flags. He was such a skilled love bomber, I thought it was a circus.

[DianaHorn-otph]

I think there's many people that are like this .

[jaredvaughan]

According to Thais Gibson anxious and dismissive types are more drawn to fearful avoidants (disorganized) than to each other.

As avoidants and anxious types are just too opposite to make it past the dating stage.

But a fearful avoidant can give the avoidant some of the space they seek and the anxious type some of the reaching out they seek.

I theorize anxious types are especially drawn to FAs who lean avoidant and avoidants are especially drawn to FAs who lean anxious.



I would argue that he Book "Hold Me Tight" describes an avoidant & fearful-avoidant dynamic.

Where the fearful avoidant protests for the relationship (anxious) but then later freezes and flees (avoidant).

Correctly if I'm wrong, but I don't see a purely anxious type ever freezing and fleeing, even after the avoidant turns things around.

[uhohotdog]

Congrats on reaching 30k 🎉Next stop 100k 👍

[ctgeorgia]

Wow...
Wife of 4 yrs left Xmas morning. Feel like you just described her perfectly. She was abandoned by her parents at 4 yrs old and grew up in foster/group homes where she experienced a lot of trauma until 18. Our biggest issue is her incessant belief that I prioritize my daughter's over her. There is absolutely no compromise in her world. She is either my number one priority at all times or not. In this case, I must have forgot to inform her that my oldest daughter was coming over on Christmas morning to join us and then spend the night with us. Mind you, we both have two kids each from our priors and our younger children were going to be here anyway. So, I didn't think it was a problem for my oldest to join us and spend the night, too as she's not visited here in a year! However, my wife absolutely lost it when I told her on Xmas morning. She screamed at me, cussed at me and told me she was leaving...all because she claims I made my adult daughter a priority over her and made plans with my daughter without discussing them with my wife first. Seriously...that's why she left in a fit of rage! For the last couple of years everyone believes she has been trying to push my daughters out of my life. It's as if she wants me to focus only on her and anyone else that I care for is a threat to her. Our presents are still under the tree. She did come back late Christmas night but she's sleeping in a different room now giving me complete silent treatment. She sent a note to say she will be out in 6 weeks. I feel like I'm living in a surreal dream right now. This can't be happening.

[dominiquetuizenga]

Thankyou it all starts to make more sense why my relation ship went downhill with my avoidant ex. As a anxious myself i started to heal and became more secure. When i got more stable he pulled away.. instead of fighting for the relationship he started to withdraw and completely ingnored my feelings.. we grew apart 😢 but i loved him dearly and i am now learning that he was an avoidant..

[sandycc]

How can you gently motivate and support a friend in addressing their avoidant behaviors, ensuring they feel understood and respected?
I want to support and encourage him to find help, but I also aim to be sensitive and not hurt his feelings. Thank you.

[Miriam-ulke]

Narcassists not attracted to dismissive avoidants, they get nothing off them both are takers. Narcassitic people's attracted to anxious, so they can use them.

[jdub]

I dont know how to stop missing her. Its been 6 months since she crushed me and I still hurts the same. I've never been this devastated by a person in my life and I've been through a divorce before. I've met lots of women since but I continously compare them to her and they fail to match up. I feel fucking pathetic.
And on top of that, her mother just passed away last month and I reached out and left flowers on her doorstep and a note with my condolences and sympathies only and of course got no reply, so I just ruined my no contact that was about 3 months strong.

[SKYLARHOP]

What causes an avoidant to leave? An avoidant will never leave if they find peace in their relationship, as they are naturally seekers of peace . Anxious people don’t try to get through your walls—they break in.

[preciousbweupelappi]

Iam not sure my ex fearful avoidant will change hes almost 57 we have age gap between us. Now hes been in a relationship probably with Narcissistic lady for almost 2 yrs the lady he dumped for but apparently he wants me back keeps on telling me how sad he is.When i rejected to meet him he ghosted me for now. We were not in contact for almost 2 yrs. Boom hes gone just before Christmas when he promised to send me Christmas present heshh

[rednvocal]

Do DA's project onto emotionally available potential partners? Mine says he will be happier if I walk away because he can't commit and will be happier if he doesn't hurt me. Says he can see that he's going to hurt me, that I will get angry with him because he works all the time. His idea of commitment and mine are different.

[Jess-wkjo]

My questions for you over affairs.

1 is it turth that Not every affair involves sex. ARE still affair or do people need sex for affair or cheating to happen ur not.

2 Can someone cheat or affair without having sex?

3 is it turth that Cheating doesn't always have to involve sex or even talking about sex.