Recognize A Fearful Avoidant Immediately With These 20 Traits

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In this video, Thais Gibson identifies 20 traits of the fearful avoidant attachment style. Learn about the six major components of Gibson Integrated Attachment Theory as Thais offers up some insight and guidance. For more information check out the relevant course above on how to learn methods for mastering your emotions and changing your limiting beliefs.

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00:00:00 - Intro to Traditional vs Gibson Integrated Attachment Theory
00:03:45 - Core Wounds
00:05:05 - Emotional Tendencies
00:05:43 - Needs of a Fearful Avoidant
00:06:46 - Relationship to Boundaries
00:08:07 - Communication Patterns
00:10:55 - IAT Promo
00:12:04 - Coping Mechanisms
00:13:12 - Identifying Attachment Styles Using Gibson Integrated Attachment Theory
00:13:57 - Conclusion
00:14:03 - 7-Day Free Trial

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Hey there! I'm Thais Gibson, and this is the channel where I teach you how to transform your life.

I created the Personal Development School, an online learning platform that gives users the ability to create true and long-lasting change in their lives through personal development courses that are designed to give you a breakthrough in every area of your life, with a 99.7% satisfaction rate.

Our Youtube videos give you a glimpse into this in-depth course content. Much of what you'll learn here is based on your attachment style and how that affects the relationships you have with your family, friendships, and of course, your romantic relationships.

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#PersonalDevelopmentSchool #ThaisGibson #PDS #AttachmentStyles #FearfulAvoidant #FearfulAvoidantAttachment #DatingFearfulAvoidant #FearfulAvoidantCourse #UnderstandFearfulAvoidant #IntegratedAttachmentTheory

[kingaberlakovich]

Boundary setting is hard, when you weren’t allowed to say no to your parents or other family members ( grandparents, and other adults).

[howtosober]

You are such a contribution in this space. I would have been hopeless for God knows how long if I hadn't stumbled into your channel and PDS. I had so much resentment and rage over how my past relationships ended. Now I'm empowered to heal and never have to put myself in those positions again. Thank you so much for sharing the origin story of this work, and thank you for what you do!

[PaigeSquared]

"They can really come on strong if they feel...weak"
DAs can often equate vulnerability with weakness. Which means they become defensive or angry when their partner expects them to be vulnerable. Intimacy requires vulnerability. This means, with a DA, they will attempt to remove their vulnerbility from the intimacy, while the other is still being vulnerable. The DA then judges their partner as weak and their vulnerability despicable. They stop holding the mindset of love towards the other, and the other doesnt understand why.

[EvangelineMelody]

The boundaries one is spot on. The first month of dating my boyfriend I thought I had discloused all my boundaries until my bf did something that idk how to feel about. So i shut down and went no contact for 3 days to reflect on what i was feeling. Then I reached out to calmly tell him that in the future, i would like him to not do x again.

He was completely shocked (rightfully so) because in the moment he had asked was x okay and i had told him yes it was.

But now I had to tell him that in that moment idk x was a boundary for me (it also didn't help that I'm a people pleaser so I didn't want to hurt his feelings by voicing my uncomfortability with x) but upon reflecting for the past few days, now ik x made me slightly uncomfortable and is a boundary 🤷🏻‍♀️

He was confused af but lucky for me has the patience of a saint.

[jaredvaughan]

I think Thais should focus on the extreme ends of attachment theory: Leaning anxious and leaning avoidant. And then highlight we all have traces of both to some degree.

Keep it simple.

True FAs really don't exist unless someone has exactly the same percentage of anxious and avoidant in them. Which is near impossible.

Everyone leans a little more anxious or avoidant. Even secure people.

[AG-vpok]

Would love if you would do a compare and contrast video for FAs and DAs. Watching separate videos to identify the two can get a bit confusing.

[anon_ya]

As an FA I agree with the statement about tracking.

[smileyglitter]

Omg this is me, all to the T....All from my f'd up childhood, narc parents, and narc partners...

[Candy_Mountain]

Omgosh yes. All of these. Huge fear issues due to surgery on my head, stomach & ankle as a 4 month old. They didn’t use anesthesia until the 80’s on infants
Then I had a father with CPTSD from Vietnam

[cloudslady]

For fearful avoidants who lean Da like me…i guess so many things included in the video won’t apply to them…I have zero Ap tendencies…half of my attachment is secure so it’s a completely different place than the typical Fa..I expect people to be direct but I’m definitely not..I avoid vulnerability in such an extreme way so my speech is always indirect when it’s about me

[wendythiel]

Great! Thais thank you so much 😚 keep doing the great work. This is valuable information that we can use to help us have better relationship and stop struggling with our behaviours within relationships.

[indigodp]

Thank you Soo much for this video. You described everything I go through and it makes sense now. I always had this question ⁉️ but couldn't find answers but thank you so much because now I know how to address them . thank you 🙏🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻

[goulnazgalieva]

Hi Thais, I've a friend who scored as FA in your test. When I listen to videos about FAs I don't recognise her, maybe because she's very closed and doesn't like to talk about herself. I only know there was some abuse in childhood and lots of traumas she worked on, she used to be so easily triggered. She also almost never messages first, is a workaholic, describes herself an ambivert and self-diagnosed with ADHD (there's a pattern when she sees a message and if it's a question and you forgot the question mark, she never replies, there's a psychological rigidity but I don't know why exactly). There's an extreme restlessness to her like she goes out a lot and never stays in town for holidays or vacations complaining she doesn't earn a lot. But traveling is a big expense. She finds Thais annoying 😃 I guess it's the way Thais expresses herself, maybe it's a shadow, who knows. I wonder if it sounds like a typical FA or there's more to this.

[peanutbutterjellyjam]

As a non-native speaker, I would have loved if you had spoken slower.

[gayleneflower]

They won’t admit when they’re wrong, you forgot that one

[mtc-ji]

Oh my goodness. The tracking. The unworthiness. The over giving. Under receiving. The people pleasing. The harshness. The withdrawing. The suspicion. This sucks. 😢 How do we fix it?

[arbrewer]

Is there any correlation between adhd and fearful avoidants or dismissive avoidants?

[patrickvernon]

Thais, you’re an amazing women. Thank you for these videos. I’m going through a hard part of my life and I know at least one person out here has a clue. Gives me a bit more hope a bit less fear.

[williammcfarlane]

One of the things I find ironic is how the fearful-avoidant will have a deep need for trust but will also violate trust in others to "protect themselves"...🤦‍♂️

[thehapagirl]

8:38 Yes! I have an aggressive communication style and fight never flee or freeze. I’m working on anger management. I say I hate people and tell them to fuck off and block them. All or nothing. Mean. Then I feel guilty and apologize and of course the other person doesn’t accept it. I keep the score and remember slights against me.