11 Signs You’re Dating Someone With an Avoidant Attachment Style

Do you know your attachment style?

There are four different adult attachment styles: Secure, Anxious, Fearful, and the one we’ll be discussing today: Avoidant.

Based on the research from the book “Attached” by Amir Levine, M.D. and Rachel Heller, M.A, which details the differences between the 4 attachment styles, we’ve created today’s video: 11 Signs You’re Dating Someone With An Avoidant Attachment Style.

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RECOMMENDED VIDEOS:

What Is Your Attachment Style? How Your Childhood Affects Your Love Styles

The Damaging Anxious-Avoidant Romance - 8 Signs You’re In One

8 Signs You Have an Anxious Attachment Style

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Disclaimer: These videos are meant for educational purposes only. Do not use information in this or any other video to self-diagnose or diagnose other people. If you feel that you or someone close to you may possess some of the characteristics mentioned in this or any other video on this channel and need help then please, consult a licensed mental health professional.

#psychologyelement #avoidant #avoidantattachment #attachmentstyles

[chiaraA.]

This is a great video that pulls no punches. So many youtube video 'therapists' or 'advisors' on attachment styles often go overboard telling viewers how to navigate these relationships - but if the topic is dismissive avoidants, it cannot be stressed enough how damaging these folks are to those who try to be in a relationship with them. For once I'm seeing a video that speaks the truth - these folks hurt people - and there is no good reason why you should volunteer yourself to get hurt by them.

[uchithahettiarachchi]

My goodness. This is on point… i hope people who struggle with this will one day heal and learn to enjoy their life.. they deserve to be seen.. we are all human at the end of the day..

[a.h.]

Seems like dating apps are full of avoidants

[shelly]

Wow, I fell for a person who fit 7 of these, no wonder I felt exhausted when it finally ended. I tried to be patient, understanding, nonjudgmental and nothing ever changed; I’m mostly secure but I got triggered and it brought up some anxious feelings in me at times. It really was sad because when he let his guard down it was wonderful.

[nicholasyoung]

Also note, a lot of this may be because the person does not like you as much as you like them. You will not be a priority in someone’s life if they don’t like you no matter what their attachment style is.

[aswa]

My avoidant man taught me great lesson in my life, and he changed me from anxious to secure through hard breakup.but the man still avoidant .IAM now 30 i want a happy life with secure one.

[hawtain]

The guy I’m dating is all of those. I’ve never dated a guy like him and couldn’t understand why he was the way he was. All this makes so much sense now. I don’t know if I want a relationship so unfulfilling.

[joesottilare]

I was with one 4yrs...you feel used..there independence is first always..you hang on if the sex is good..other than that ..its never a deep connection..they sleep away from you..walk away from you.its all true..except when they need somthing from you then there warm..
Once you provide there request..they soon after go back to the distancing..
Communication is like pulling teeth .
It is exhausting and draining dealing with these broken people..

[hmanfilms]

Dating someone like this is a hellish experience. These people blue the lines with low end NPD, and it’s impossible to tell how they actually feel and which of their personality’s will show up. Save yourself the heartache and blow to your self esteem, these people rarely have respect, empathy, or compassion for other people. Run like hell if you think you’re involved with someone like this, you can’t get close to them, they don’t understand empathy and intimacy and never can sustain healthy relationships. They need years of therapy and healing. It’s hell. Get out.

[McLuvin]

Guys avoid this type of person. It goes absolutely no where, there is no saving them. They will rationalize you out of existence and then when you challenge them they will become super illogical and emotional. Worst attachment style there is

[madisonhartwick]

I think the reason I keep dating men like this is because I have a touch of this as well. I’m bad at sleeping close to someone. I change my mind dramatically in the beginning of any relationship. I will disappear if I feel things are going South. My partners do this but to the extreme with no regard or awareness.

[jadeliu]

This is my ex. On and off for 5 years. Very exhausting, probably the most toxic relationship I’ve ever been in. In the 5 years that we dated on and off I’ve never been to his place and I don’t know the names of any of his friends. It’s insane how you get desensitized to how messed up things are. I always knew things weren’t right but had no idea how bad they were or the reasons why. I suffered a lot because of this

[Nattycakiepakie]

Thank you for this video and the comments. I was dating one for 3 months.. things turned south really quickly. He said he wanted to work on changing, but literally compared relationships to his dog dying and finally having FREEDOM. He didn’t want to be tied down by a relationship and freedom, but still wanted to be in one?? I’m sad he’ll never get to experience true love and intimacy that can be healthy. I RAN. These comments helped validate my choices. I think it would be a long hard painful road to help open these people up, IF they actually ever do change. Very surface level. Very sad.

[bichonefrise]

My partner has the avoidant attachment style. When he was sick, I was always staying together and supported him a lot. However, when I got mental sick, he just ignored that situation and if I asked him to be together with me, he just said like you should calm down and try to control your mind, then he denyed to be with me. Instead, he just enjoyed partying with his sharehousemates. So, even if we support them as a partner, they cannot return back their love. Never. It broke my mental condition more. It would be better to not have a strong connection with them. It is waisting and ggive us hardship moment a lot. I lost self confidence after I started to be in relationship with him. I hope I can recover soon. To be with avoidant attachment style person break our life and mental health easily. But they don't mind that. Truth is truly sad.

[dave]

I can identify with 9 of these 11 signs! I have a lot of work to do on myself.

[sersnuggles]

I'm an anxious person who likes an avoidant close friend. 3 years later, the mountaining anxiety turned me into a more independent and confident person. 😥😥

[Eg-jdzt]

Just met someone I’m already feeling confused with. Very Mixed signals. Cya!

[doreenlane]

True. If you're interested in different attachment styles I recommend this book:
Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and how it Can Help You Find--and Keep--love
Book by Amir Levine and Rachel S. F. Heller

[pogogogo]

One I dated would text me a long and quite long texts but I would have to push for a phone call. He stayed in a 17yr relationship where they had separate bedrooms. Yep an avoidant.

[cybertroy]

wow. this describes me to a tee. Finally i find something that describes what i've been feeling all these years. The many women i've left disappointed and frustrated in my dating life.