How To Find A Good Therapist (It’s Simpler Than You Think!)

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Improving your mental health is difficult even in the best of situations, but what happens when the people you entrust to help you are actually making you worse?

Picking a good therapist is incredibly important. I'm going to walk you through my criteria for finding a therapist who is not only competent, but specialized and compatible.

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Disclaimer: This content is not intended to be a replacement for receiving treatment. It is purely educational in nature. My relationship with you is that of presenter and audience, not therapist and client.

But I do care.
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After not wanting to filter through 50+ therapists in my city I asked my buddy:
- Hey, is your therapist available?
- Yeah
- Is she good?
- I argue with her all the time
Turns out talking to a very direct 50+ years old lady can be very helpful for a guy in his 30s.

Salantor
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Going to some, feels like they like the gossip but no help..I don't return ever!

carladaniels
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I completely agree with your doctor! It's like going to a prestigious school to learn how to ride a bike. You can't ride a bike from reading a book, and if you have a PhD in riding a bike, you probably can't ride a bike any better than an eight-year-old can. It's all about riding the bike. Books just tell you where the pedals are, and how much air to put in the tires. I don't care what a therapist's education is. I care about their real life, face-to-face experience is.

ThatNiravGuy
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I have had 100s of hours in therapy and spent $$$$. YOU have helped me the most and I have never met you in person or talked to you. I have only watched you on YouTube. You have helped me more than anyone!

rachelbrown
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Spent 9 months with a therapist after my spouses affairs came to light that severely damaged me even more. Fortunately I was doing a ton of work on my own and found ‘real’ help out there. Find a therapist that actually experienced in real life what you went through is my best advice. Who cares how many books someone read on child-rearing, you’re not going to ask them advice on how to raise your child if they’ve never had one. It applies everywhere. Good luck and God bless. 🙏🏼

justagirljean
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I had a really good therapist for many years. She retired and I have not been able to find another good therapist. I've given up looking and am focusing on trying to meet my own needs. Thanks for your insight.

purrsephone
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One of the key things that helped me feel good about the therapist who I very first started with (and still see, even after she changed practices) was that she did not act like I was an absolute train wreck coming to her fresh out of my messy time at undergrad. I imagined a therapist who would recoil in horror but she was like “ok, and…” in a way that didn’t convey judgment at all. And she has never judged even when things have gotten pretty wild. As a therapist myself, my niche is student-athletes and teens/young adults, but I fell into that unplanned and it has made me seek extra education on that population, but niche feels different than specialty. I also make sure to ask new clients what has worked and what hasn’t in past experiences in therapy - it is super important to me to demonstrate the respect for their experience by being able to know what we could build on and what I should avoid so I am not “just another one who sucks”.

elizabethadams
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I agree it's a hit or miss. Even if you connect with their bio, it can be a complete miss. Once a new therapist whose bio i liked asked me to identify where in the body my sadness was. It was the area just above my eyes. Then he asked to talk to my forehead to find out why i was sad. For four sessions, he kept doing that. It was even homework. I gave up! My forehead hasn't said anything until now 😂 i thought he was a one trick pony.

hbbstn
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When I was younger I always wanted to be a therapist or psychologist, mainly because I seem to be able to understand and care for all kinds of people and I love helping them feel better - but I am also the kind of person people call an empath - so I worried I would take everyone's darkness home with me and I would drown in it. Life unfortunately went a different way for me, but I wish I had gone down that road now as I believe I would have been good at it - I really appreciate those of you who help other people so much. You are incredible.

jadeybabes
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I'm really glad you posted this. I've tried going to so many different therapists who just don't seem to "get" me, which causes me to think I'm the problem, and as you can imagine, that is just absolutely wonderful for my social anxiety. I think next time I am going to try to be more intentional about who I choose.

bad_anima
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I had a therapist that fell asleep during our session. I had a couple others that used a lot of our session to tell me about themselves. Sigh. I did have good ones support me in my darkest moments. I’m glad those were there when I needed them most

BonusFiddle
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Thank you Dr. Scott.. I've been in therapy over 25 years. The past 10 years I haven't. I got to the point of being sick of talking and taking baby steps forward, then going backwards. I'm not blaming my therapists, which changed over the years. I have been troubled with anxiety from childhood and no therapy, When I was 19, my family doctor gave me tranquilizers til I was 22, then he said, he was stopping it.. I had asked him a few times to find a psychiatrist for me. His answer to me was, you cannot afford one. They are very expensive.... I knew nothing about mental health.. I found another doctor who practiced in my neighborhood. He gave me the prescription for tranquilizers. I realized back then that the doctor's really didn't care about me. It was the money ( even though I didn't have much ) Anyway you care about your patients. And all who go to you are so lucky.. Many blessings to you..

marlenekaminski
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I will never Trust another Therapist.
I am a victim if abuse by my father..
This Therapist said the sex had to be the best in the world with my father.
Also I don't have any decent insurance and I am a old widow woman.
I have learned more from you Dr Scott then all the help I got being in the mental health system since 1979.
Thank You..

EdithBrown-vd
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You are on point! I am here right now like many times before. Counseling does not help at all. I have NEVER had a good therapist. My current one is nice but she said thw only thing she could happen me with is validating me right now with what I am going through. No one ever refers me to IOP program except for 2 in the past about 10 years ago. One IOP helped the other one was a joke compared to the one in the larger city. Yet here I am again under all this stress and depression and being attacked at work. It is all so discouraging

LadyJpraiseunbound
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Talk therapy, when you REALLY need some deep healing work, is 100% useless, even damaging. I’ve experienced lots of therapy and therapists (I”m an older person), I found out that body-centered therapists are most effective, actually heal, therapies like Core Energetics. I’ve also seen non-traditional, non-traditionally trained therapist, a “meta-therapist, ” who’s helped me a lot when I was young and just starting out in therapy. Body-centered therapists who also include the soul, are the best.

dawnjohnson
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I like my therapist who specializes in narcissistic abuse because she understands what I have gone through and she doesn’t gaslight me. I’ve been through several non specific general therapists and none of them could see what I was going through was controlling abuse. The others saw it as his charming sweet suggestions and thoughtfulness.

Kloops
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As a 'professional' patient I agree with most of these. After seeing over a dozen therapist from all categories, I've had pretty bad luck from therapists at hospital/clinic settings and private practice. The therapist that clicked and I stayed with for years was from a community organization.

tatlyntael
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So true. Having Atypical Dissociative Identity Disorder but no skilled therapist since 1994, it can be difficult.

denniso.shepherd
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I’m so glad someone said it. The amount of schooling to become a therapist is ridiculous and highly
Unnecessary 🤦🏾‍♀️ 😒😮‍💨😤🤯😡

AuthenticJourney
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I'm a previously practising therapist in Australia and I've had a lot of therapy, too. A couple of things come to mind:

1) The best therapist for YOU is someone you feel comfortable with within the first couple of sessions.

2) It's ok to 'shop around'. Therapists expect this and don't take it personally if you disengage from their service.

kyliejones