Why All Narcissists Use The Silent Treatment

Narcissists are highly skilled at making you agonize over the silent treatment by rendering you invalid, invisible, and totally redundant.

Being switched off and treated like you don’t even exist, after everything you’ve done for this person, is devastating. Don’t I know it!

If you have also felt these feelings of despair, betrayal, and the intense panic of being discarded in this way … or if you’ve had enough of the waiting around for days, weeks or even months before this person suddenly wants to talk again, then this Thriver TV episode will be very helpful.

So, how do we know how to respond to the silent treatment? Watch the video or read the blog to find out — I’ll teach you exactly what to do.

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#Narcissisticabuse #MelToniaEvans

[Bostonscubachic]

I have never been given the silent treatment by anyone in my life until the narcissist. I knew something was very off with him. Adults communicate and work through issues. This guy had no intention of working through anything with anyone.

[milesmatulionis]

Narcissists also use silent treatment and blocking to give themselves a sense of control over you.

[carriedillmann]

Excellent discussion of what I lived!
They are sick !!
GET AWAY FROM THEM !!!

[eottoe]

This what my mother did to us as children and talk about damage.

[mariankeller]

The silent treatment is a means of control..they cut you off because they know it will hurt you and put them back in the driver seat..

[paulzedxninja]

The silent treatment is just one of many ways narcs do to you what hurts them. Their backwards minded to the core leaving you thinking, what tha. ?!?!? 😵

[colleenjl]

When someone gave me the silent treatment it didn't feel good...at all. But I'm not the type to beg because I don't like another sign of rejection on top of the one I already got. So I'm the type to just leave it be. But I remember it too, and was always aware of how wrong it was. Decades later...I came across things about "personality disorder", and was more than just aware of what it really meant. So when it happened to me, for days on end, I knew it was the beginning of the end. I knew I'd end up leaving...soon...and I did. Everyone has limits. Some have decades before they reach theirs. But when you find out what this silent treatment is all about, you'll reach your limits too... I stayed only a few weeks more...and then left. There's only so much you can hope for. There are certain battles that aren't worth fighting. You can love somebody so much, but self respect is just as important. You were born for something more. You can't control how others behave, or make their choices. You can make your own...and staying in a place where people disrespect you is never the place to be. It's time to go. You've been nice enough to others. Now it's time to be nice to yourself. To a Narcissist, you are nothing but an old refrigerator, or hair dryer, an old forgotten book on the shelf, or even a pair of worn out shoes. Pretty and shiny in the beginning, but worn out in the end, in their eyes.

[smokeyb.]

OMG. My parents were narcissists and my wife of 45 years is a narcissist and her behavior is worse than theirs. I recently discovered that I have CPTSD. I'm a 65 year old male and just discovering all of this. I have been a " deer caught in the headlights" my entire life. I have CFS and suffer from depression and severe anxiety. I started going to therapy when I left home at 18. A complete waste of time. I received no help whatsoever from the mental health community. The good news is that in the last year I have found out about CPTSD and now narcissistic abuse. I will eventually be happy because I never give up. As I write this I have been getting the silent treatment from my wife for the 10, 000th time and although my "heart is in my throat" I don't give a damn. I'm now convinced it will end. Hopefully soon. Thanks so much for the information Melanie! Best of luck to you!

[nicselectronics]

Got it my entire life, WEAK. Discard shattered me to pieces.

[bridgetkeating]

Both of my ex narcissists loved this tactic. The insight that they are silent on the topic…not us is great. I am pulled away and healing, and seeing my attraction to narcs, more importantly signs to look out for when dating. NARP is great, I also really like, respect, and recommend Professor Sam Vatkin on YouTube.

[stanleymaestas]

Yes this did happen, that's terrible. I am sorry we have experienced this trauma. Never again. Defiant self care. I deserve love cause I am lovable. I am love. I am enough. So within so without. Nameste everyone. Thank you Melanie Tonia Evan's.

[julieach]

I have just ended a friendship where I was being silenced on occasion for no reason. Sometimes it would be when I was happy and excited, the last time I offended her by text in which I was trying to organise taking her out to lunch for her birthday. I had enough of it and cancelled a few group trips away as I didn't want to spend time with someone who doesn't value me. I left dignified voice messages and again she didn't respond. We are part of a large group of friends so it has been difficult. She is "so nice" to everyone and no one would believe me so I am dealing with it alone with some support from other friends. Its horrible and immature, we are in our 50s and I wouldnt put up with it in my twenties so why would I start now.

[gloriadonahue]

I WISH my narc would use the silent treatment.
He NEVER stops talking.
How can I get him to leave the house altogether? That sounds like heaven.
I WISH he'd find a girlfriend. He'd be more receptive to a divorce.

[andrejamarolt]

Beautifully explained, bitter truth, but extremely sobering and helpful. I've been through many of the hurtful and soul shattering experiences with my ex covert narcissist.. silent treatments and passive aggressiveness in the end made me realize that I am good and worthy of something real instead of the cold and punishments, while he was outwardly charming to other people. Fake and empty he was, but I have gained a lot of insight and saved myself.

[kathrynkenyon]

INCREDIBLE, Melanie! You speak such utter truth; having been discarded via the use of "Silent Treatment, " I totally get what you mean. Seems narcs hone in on the one or two concepts they discover cause you the worst pain and use that solely to obliterate your heart, mind, and soul.

[robertswift]

i gave my ex narc gf the silent treatment because she discarded me and was giving me the silent treatment, , , so i didnt want to play anymore, , , , she then confronted me yelling why are you ignoring me??? i didnt say a word and just walked away, , , i dont have time for people who play games, , , life is way too short

[laurelmarshall]

Spot on Mel! I keep learning soo much about my family of origin (who have all passed away now) through these extremely helpful Thriver videos. My whole family always used silent treatment as one of their favorite main communication & manipulative tools. It's taken me such a long time now to wake up to the truth (I'm 68) but now I am finally free to live my life in a beautiful way. It is due in large part to NARP, your videos & seminars. I am healing now & have truly opened my eyes to the truth of where I came from, where I WANT to go & where I don't need to go to any longer! Thanks so much for your tremendous work with people from all over the world who've been narcissistically abused &/or are currently in relationships with narcissists.

[rochellericciardelli]

Thank you for rhe information it's dead on and time for this shit to end

[theself]

Oh Melanie. The more I watch your videos, I can see that I check all the boxes for a narcissist myself. And I have these horrendous relationships and extremely high expectations as you said and get devastated and heartbroken when the partner doesn’t behave in my way. And I can get a narcissistic injury at a hairline trigger. And at holiday time or birthdays I go insane because the attention is not on me. And I unconsciously start fights for no reason because without that specialness my inner identity feels so fragile and unhinged. I can see all this in myself and I’m very disturbed. I wish to heal and I’ve been doing NARP the past days and getting relief. Then more inner trauma comes up. It feels constant. But I need to heal this. Thank you, your program is saving me

[lolaweed]

😮 wish I had this information when it happened to me! He would ghost for weeks because I held him accountable zero apology zero communication. I was too anxious to think straight! Walking on eggshells!