Midweek with Dr. C- Narcissists Want To Keep You Guessing

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Dr. Les Carter is a best selling author and therapist who has semi-retired to Waco, TX. In the past 40+ years he has conducted more than 65,000 counseling sessions and many workshops and seminars. He specializes in anger management and narcissistic personality disorder.

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[JimGoatChicago]

My heart sinks when I hear in the comments and live chats people trying to figure out how to make their relationship with the narcissist partner better. I remember clearly being in a similar space, thinking that if I just tried harder, gave up more of myself, agreed with them more, worked harder and longer to earn more, bought them nicer gifts, asked less of them, let them work less and But then came the "aha" moment when I realized they were never going to really love me and treat me with real respect - radical acceptance that they are not going to change, ever, and I didn't have to live the rest of my life in that horrible, anxiety-ridden, self-denying space.

[aaronkwolfe]

I just want to say how grateful I am to have spent all of 2023 with y'all.

[jenniferleemarrow]

That one person whose husband wants her to take a polygraph, I'd turn the tables on them and agree under the provision that he gets put on one, too, and has to answer her questions.

[koma]

A quote to start the new year. “You must love in such a way that the person you love feels free.” -Thich Nhat Hahn

It’s the opposite of what narcissists do in their their relationships.

[fred.k]

If we are not showing our humanity we’re alive physiologically not psychologically.

[Greenwings]

They rarely answer mundane questions. They'll react in a hostile or bratty way if you've landed on one of their attempts to give a false impression, such as they'll talk about people as if they're friends but if you try to continue that 'conversation, ' you will butt up against the fact that they're exaggerating that friendship. There are non-sequiturs, non-answers, sneers, etc., which can take a while to reconcile. They see interactions as an opportunity to paint themselves a certain way, or a chance to manipulate or use you. They are looking for information from and about you not out of earnest friendship either; it's an abuse of your knowing them.

[mariazalogina]

I've been so helpless, felt so insecure, but now I' m starting to understand how to face my problems in the family which treats me as a useless granny. The worst thing is that it's my daughter's family. Thanks to Dr. C I can feel the ground under my feet now. I put down certain things not to miss the most important points. It' s good that one can read the subtitles. English is not my native language, so it helps a lot to read what is being said.

[ricalina]

To the polygraph-lady: run as fast as you can!

[sandrahesketh]

Dr. Carter, been listening to you for several weeks now. I just realized after 25 some odd years of marriage my husband is a covert narcissist. I kept trying for years to get through to him. Now he realizes he doesn't need me anymore and wants to dispose me like trash. It's pitiful. I'm 67 and he's 73 and it's hard to start over again at my age. There are many lessons in this for me as well as I'm far from perfect. Thank you for all your encouragement and kind words. Would love to be able to afford a therapist to talk about all these things.

[heatherdraper]

I usually hate New Year as it's just another year, but I have finally realised my husband is never going to change, so 2024 is my year to change. Thank you to Team Healthy. I have learned a lot.

[harrelltackett]

Dr C you don’t need to hide your being human
It make you a real person

[blen]

This is one of the most effective tools a narcissist can use to keep you locked into a system of bondage. Not only does it keep you tied into a negative space that causes you to lose trust in "all" people, it also isolates you from others so that you're totally dependent on them for your emotional survival. My narc was tops in using this technique. In fact, she told me how it would be to my "advantage" not to talk to this person or that person because they'd do this or that to me. And once I believed her, I was trapped. And anything trapped has been "gotten." Please don't be fooled by them. Narcissists will go to any lengths to destroy you! That's one way they get their fun.

[Charlotte_breathes_fire]

Just starting this video and I need to say that it's upsetting that someone not only feels but expressed that the teacher should keep his illness to himself.That seems like someone's mental illness talking. When we hide our humanness and vulnerabilities, we encourage others to do so too, and nothing good comes from that. Thanks for sharing your humanness, doc.

[KarliSure]

Our “Family Narcissist” has slowly taken apart our small family. Sadly the enablers, her mom & sister. Always pulls the “Family Card” saying we’re family. I’m so tired of people family or not pulling that card. As if to say just because they are family I’m supposed to smile, be quiet and just take it. I don’t want to have negative people speaking into my life. And includes my family members who are negative and don’t give respect. But I’m made to feel terrible about it.

[karolinagren]

I spent Christmas alone with my cat. I think that was the best choice as my narcissistic family has been a problem in the past and although I can handle them better now, I don't want to. I have no partner and friends a few, but not all that good. I'm still working at surrounding myself with better people, but find it difficult to do so as I have a social phobia. My kitty is my best friend, so we shared some nice dinners, played and watched some movies.

[Lola-mtne]

I've been following a great deal of YouTube content about narcissism for about 5 years since I discovered the phenomenan of this insidious controller. I've noticed as time passes I can see this personality as quite pervasive in my life.

[tvdb]

What a treat to have Dr C giving us some healthy insights at this time of crazy (for we who have crazy families!).

[gregoryritchie]

I appreciate you, Dr. C. - I'm slowly coming to realize the more I know through watching your many videos, the more I realize how much MORE there is to learn! It's a good thing I was born a student!

[Hatbox]

I'm thankful for Dr. C and team healthy. I'm glad I've learned about narcissism because I had no way of packaging all the ex narc's quirks into something identifiable to others. Now I have a word with a definition, and I'm not crazy after all.

[MT-txbu]

My new answer is: "Good to know." It's also something that I implant in my brain when someone feels the need to question my choices.